Hugs Gaping :) Welcome to the forum. THOSE OF YOU HIJACKING THIS MANS THREAD KNOCK IT OFF!
What you are learning about what you have always thought you "knew" is very disturbing to find out. We all have and are going through that. And like when we first became witnesses, we were so enthusiastic about it that we tended to beat everybody including family members, over the head with it...so anxious were we for them to have this WONDERFUL thing we thought we had. And yeah...until someone showed us what we were looking at was a mirage, we didnt know that. Neither did you. So now you are replacing all that grey matter you wasted on the "Truth" with truth.
Take it slow. You really dont have to talk about this to your wife. Talk here. Make this your place to vent. People all come around at their own pace...if indeed they are going to come around at all. My husband, though we are estranged, managed to stay together 22 years, and I left the witnesses at the 10th year. We went our separate ways not because he was a JW. It took a long time for him to grasp that I would respect his right to believe and he had to respect MY right to believe differently. As for our kids...we would BOTH share what we believed with them and there would be no "forcing" them to do anything. If she takes them to the kingdom hall then you are going to, as their dad, show them and tell them what YOU believe.
It will take a long time. But hopefully your love for each other will keep the lines of communication open and she has to understand that you didnt do this to hurt her...that things happened. And for you to live a LIE and be a hypocrite and be untrue to your own conscience is just as clear to God as her beliefs are. That you cant put anything PAST God because he reads hearts.
Whether you believe in God or not...she does and thats the position the JWs take...that God sees clear through you. So does she want you to lie for the sake of peace in the household? Because God hates that as well. Its not a great position to be in but it might appeal to her JW sense of curcular reasoning.
Again...welcome and do tell us more about yourself k?
Loves