as if apostates are some kind of Jedi Knights who can slightly wave their hands or twitch their eyes and bring one under a spell. There really is some kind of spooky, demonic, supernatural connotation to the word among JWs. I guess the org has created that connotation purposefully.
As a virtually born-in, and highly sensitive and suggestible person, much of the internalized fear I had about "apostates" due to JW programming was irrational, exaggerated and overblown. Apostates are categorically viewed as much worse than "worldlings" and even DF'd ones that may come back to the fold and often tools of Satan, who most likely has possessed such ones.
When I first faded in my 20s, I made email contact with a well-known xjw on the other side of the world known for going on TV to talk about JWs as a "cult", shaking in my boots as I hit the send button. The deep ingrained fear I felt made me feel vulnerable and unprotected should the ex decide to *do something* (I don't know what, but the fear was palpable, and it was only after a few email exchanges that I realized this "horrible" person was as normal as my next door neighbor).
I felt the same fear on meeting with an ex-JW, former bethelite woman in-person for the first who ran a xjw support group - who was swept out of bethel around the Ray Franz fiasco. We had a good chat for a couple of hours and I felt a whole new shift in perspective.
Nothing bad happened to me in either case (why should it?), except that I learned my first real-life lessons about people, life, and the myopic view the JW ORG has programmed into the unfortunate children in its culture who have no other choice but to accept what is told to them by the adults in charge.
I don't know why I suddenly grew the courage to question things, but I'm glad I did. So many others cannot even go there in their own minds. I broke out of the JW box and can never go back in.
Phae
