Posts by Phaedra

13

Putting on the NEW "New Personality"

by stuckinarut2 in

we have often heard about the need to "put on the 'new personality'" as a jw.... but i have realised something in these last few years of awakening to the ttatt...i dont like what i had become as a 'good' jw!.

i realised that being a 'good' jw made me very:.

critical of my fellow man,.

Phaedra

Stuck,

Great reflection. As a raised-in, I never knew what my "original personality" was (or did it even really develop?), and so when I left the JWs in my late-20s I was very confused about where they ended and I began. How do you know who you ARE when you don't know anything else except what you've been programmed with during your formative years in the JW world?

Along with some of the things you've mentioned, I suspect some of the unwanted traits that I've been afflicted with (and ernestly working through and healing from) have been greatly influenced/caused by growing up in the JW culture:

social phobia
perfectionism
neuroticism
depression
irrational fear
not-good-enough-ism
fatalism
codependant

A far cry from the fruitage of the spirit.

Phae

105

Is my clinging on to a belief in a Creator doing me any harm?

by KateWild in

i use the word clinging, as i feel that is what i am doing.

as far as my knowledge of science, namely chemistry is concerned, i am satisfied there is evidence of a creator.

i am happy to believe this.

Phaedra

Hi Kate,

I like how you think about things.

Phae

16

Interview with cultBgone

by cultBgone in

tell us a little about yourself and your family.. can't, have family still in.

were you a born in or a convert?.

convert.

Phaedra

Hi cBg,

Enjoyed reading this~thanks for sharing!

Phae

43

DF'ed and Confused...

by Stumbeline in

so i think the title pretty much says it all.

i have a tendancy to be long winded about things, so i'll just give a general introduction and maybe tell things as i go along.

i don't even really know what i want from this site (ironically i remember jehovahs-witness.net mentioned from the platform as a site not to go to).

Phaedra

Stumbeline,

Enamoured by your first post. I do hope you come back to see all of this good advice and well-wishing!

At 19 I married my JW hubby. You are in a prime position right now with your thinking ability, youth, and energy.

The world is your oyster... go make pearls, girl!

Phae

35

My first post: Pet Peeves from my JW past

by BarHarborBarbara in

jw
friends

first post here: longtime lurker but hesitant to take the leap.

my story is pretty much like everyone elses with little variance, but i thought id add a few details that especially tormented me when i was in.

im sure these are familiar, im afraid this is a bit of a rant.. --paradise: the constant chatter about a perfect world when most in the hall were not even slightly interested in taking care of the earth now.

Phaedra

Welcome, BarHarborBarbara! Thanks for sharing your experiences.

I was even GLAD because it meant less time facing a door and trying to explain why I was invading their space and putting the householder on the spot for their personal convictions.

That SO describes how I felt about d2d work!

Funny you mention car groups. I remember as a young teen at a circuit assembly, there was a scenario onstage during one of the talks that depicted four sisters in a car group. The four chairs on stage were arraged like car seats. As the sisters sat and gabbed in the car on the way to the territory, one of them started bemoaning how people in the territory just weren't interested and it felt like a waste of time, etc.

The point of the skit was to not talk negative/voice discouragement, etc. in car groups because it wasn't uplifting.

As impressionable as I was, my takeaways from that skit were:

Since that was the first time I had EVER seen/heard someone being negative about service (hadn't ever been in a cargroup where people were misbehavin'), my eyes were open to people in the congregation who were not all happy/perfect in the org.
Planted subconsciously was that it was not okay to express your true feelings in front of other JWs unless it was something positive and upbuilding. Which translated into personal reservations / feelings that went against the current = something wrong with you.

Phae

61

How did you tell your spouse you want out of the JW religion?

by leaving_quietly in

what did you imagine would happen?

did they react the way you expected?

how did you bring it up?.

Phaedra

It was a gradual process over a few years.

I was already in an unintentional fade when I started having doubts.

When I got online and learned TTATT, for some odd reason, I thought the stimulating articles and posts and paragraphs from COC would be as interesting to my JW husband as they were me. Not so.

He was on and off inactive, but always found resolve to explain away and rationalize and conclude that those who left were just twisting thing in favor of their own agenda, etc.

What I found strengthened my resolve... and his, I suppose.

He knows I don't want anything to do with being a JW, but hopes I'll come to my senses and come back.

I don't share stuff with him anymore.

We live and let live. I think him not being hardcore helps a lot.

Phae

16

7 Things Remarkably Happy People Do Often

by Oubliette in

jw
friends

i came across this article today and really appreciated it's positive message; and so i wanted to share a few choice excerpts that i thought were particularly relevant for this group:.

7 things remarkably happy people do often1.

make good friends - make real friends.

Phaedra

Thanks for sharing!

Phae

6

The Bethel "Compound", CULTure & Cults

by Phaedra in

i was reflecting on some of the traditional cults mentioned in hassan's book that recruit members and have them move into some kind of compound, give up their worldly lives, possessions, leave their families, etc.

and work solely for the furthering of the cult... isn't that exactly what "going to bethel" is?.

when you become a bethelite, you take a vow of poverty and devote your life to the org.

Phaedra

I had a couple of close friends who studied with me as a teen get accepted into Bethel in the late 80s and they are still there. They've spent the prime of their life serving this organization, from their late 20s, now in their 50s.

He was appointed a Bethel elder right away. I wonder how far they've moved up in their 25+ years there (I haven't been in touch for over a decade).

Phae

38

Unbelievable Watchtower quote from 1962!!.. ''Don't waste time speculating on what year Armageddon will come'' (check it on cd-rom if you like)

by defender of truth in

wt 6/15 1962 p.380-383.

"likewise it is possible to spend valuable time speculating on matters concerning the future.

one might ask, in what year will armageddon begin?...jehovah has not provided answers at this time.

Phaedra

"Truth and theory are not synonymous [unless it originates from US and we say so]."

Phae

6

The Bethel "Compound", CULTure & Cults

by Phaedra in

i was reflecting on some of the traditional cults mentioned in hassan's book that recruit members and have them move into some kind of compound, give up their worldly lives, possessions, leave their families, etc.

and work solely for the furthering of the cult... isn't that exactly what "going to bethel" is?.

when you become a bethelite, you take a vow of poverty and devote your life to the org.

Phaedra

I was reflecting on some of the traditional cults mentioned in Hassan's book that recruit members and have them move into some kind of compound, give up their worldly lives, possessions, leave their families, etc. and work solely for the furthering of the cult... isn't that exactly what "going to Bethel" is?

When you become a Bethelite, you take a vow of poverty and devote your life to the Org. Your environment is controled, your time/schedule managed, meals are at set times and run in a militant style (I've vistited Bethel several times had the "privelege" of joining a couple of dining room meals).

The JW organization runs just like any other typical cult... but has the advantage of having most of its recruits "out in the field", self-supporting, willingly volunteering all their time and resources and autonimity to the cult remotely in congregations throughout the world. Belthelite or not, everything about this high-control group quacks like a duck.

Imagine if everybody who was a dedicated JW had to move into a Bethel-like setting. They have the best of both worlds with the current set up: those who work in the world to support the Org financially and those who give up their entire lives to run it.

Phae