MissFit

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Posts by MissFit

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  10

  on UPI, this poster,Survivor, shared her story and it is heartwrenching

  by nonjwspouse in

  1. watchtower
  2. child-abuse

  i have been following the comments to the $13.5 million judgement story.

  this post is gripping.

  i hope she finds support for the story being told by so many, over and over.... i am not even close to being qualified to understand fully.. http://www.upi.com/top_news/us/2014/11/01/jehovahs-witnesses-must-pay-135m-to-teachers-sex-victim/2761414865636/#comment-1673431193.

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  MissFit

  Maybe comments like those will wake someone up or encourage others to speak out.

  Did you find any more interesting comments you would like to share?
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  32

  BTTT / Marked topics

  by Simon in

  1. forum
  2. announcements

  i've noticed a lot of topics being bumped recently with "bttt" (back to the top) comments or "marked" as the reply.. i'd appreciate if people think twice before doing this.

  simply forcing topics back to the top even though there is nothing to say on them is not helpful and negates the usefulness of having an active topics view.

  if everyone did this with every topic they want to push then things would quickly deteriorate so i don't believe some should be allowed to do it for whatever reason.. by all means post new and relevent comments to a topic but short esp single-word non-comments that are simply used to push certain topics back to the top are likely to be interpreted as spam and removed or blocked if necessary.. .

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  MissFit

  Simon: I love the idea of a watch option.Londo is right- this site is fast moving and it is easy to miss something. Especially if you have a job.

  Sometimes I dont have time to actually post but would like to revisit that thread.

  Also tutorial for newbies would be nice. I didnt know I could click my avatar and go to my previous posts until someone mentioned it on a thread. Now I use it alot to keep up with the treads I posted on.
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  64

  one last step..Is being mentally out the same as being emotionally out?

  by MissFit in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  we talk here about the importance of being mentally and physically out to be really free.. what about being emotionally free?.

  i realized for me, i had to be emotionally awake first.

  i had been yo-young back and forth for years.

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  MissFit

  Hi all. I was just reading some threads that made me realize how easy it is to underestimate the emotional pull the organization has on us and our loved ones.

  The threat of being destroyed or losing loved ones at Armageddon can really mess with a parent's mind. I remember getting more "active" after my kids were born.

  I also remember the guilt I felt for not doing enough. My husband and children were going to DIE and it would be my fault.

  I am free from that now, and the relief I feel is so staggering.

  I think you have to be born in to really appreciate the weight that was holding me down.
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  47

  preface question:

  by mohrb in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  order of operations is important, so, i'll ask a question before i make assumptions and start "fixing things.".

  obviously, the site heavily encourages the viewpoint of former j-dubs and others who have disagreements with the political posturing of the wbts.

  i get that, and see your points.

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  MissFit

  Welcome Mohrb!

  Would you be comfortable telling us a little more about you?

  I can guess you are probably a male because a Sister could never get away with questioning a CO? Are you an Elder? A born in? Do you have a big family in the "Truth "?

  I ask because there are a lot of factors that determine how you are treated when you ask questions or make objections.

  I admire the fact that you can speak your mind so boldly.

  Maybe you are right, maybe more people need to step up. But before you prejudge or dismiss out of hand these members or this site, look around some.

  You might find out there are things you didnt know you didnt know.

  I was surprised. Dont take their word. Research, explore.

  Hang on tight, if you dare, you will be in for a heck of a ride.
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  17

  I'm done hiding who I am with my family

  by cognac in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i'm pissed that i got scared the other day and didn't just tell my mom i was celebrating halloween.

  i was caught off-guard when she asked what i was doing and felt that fear they instill in you.

  hate that i still feel that way when i shouldn't.

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  MissFit

  Hey cognac: how's it going?

  Just remember you are an adult now, you really don't owe your mom any explanation. Just because you didnt volunteer information, doesnt make you a coward or liar.

  I understand how frustrating it can be.

  There are things I just dont discuss with my mom out of respect for her feelings.

  I live my life my way, but dont rub it in her face.

  Just make sure to count the cost before you burn any bridges.

  Just my 2 cents.

  Miss.Fit
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  4

  This week's CHEATERS episode. 'The Watchtower Society'.

  by LogCon in

  1. watchtower
  2. bible

  this weeks cheaters episode-.

  watchtower bible and tract society age 140 years, in a spiritual relationship with the other sheep class, suspected of satisfying its needs with another organization.. cheaters detectives come prepared to catch a cheater.

  after setting up surveillance and gathering evidence, our detectives make a telephone call to the united nations headquarters in new york city.

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  MissFit

  LogCon: very clever analogy.

  I never heard about it until this site. I wasn't ready to deal with it so I usually skip threads about it.
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  38

  Interesting Religious Conversation with my Daughter...

  by garyneal in

  1. social
  2. family

  yesterday, my wife was getting ready for the kh and told the kids that they had to get ready too.

  i figured, oh well, they're heading to the hall at least i can get the time i need to catch up on some house work and what not.

  before i know it, the wife gave up and allowed the kids to stay.

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  MissFit

  Gary: I love the simple explanation you gave to your kids. You showed respect for others beliefs without endorsing them.

  I also think it is great how you let your wife in on the conversation.

  I also got to the point where I would leave the kids home with my non JW husband.

  Non of my kids are JWs now. I used to feel guilty, like I failed them some how, but I would try to plant seeds at home like your wife is doing. She wants to make up for not taking them to the meetings.
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  47

  Why don't parents of an abused child go straight to police, why go to an elder first??

  by FeelingFree in

  1. watchtower
  2. child-abuse

  i hope i don't come across as judgemental but having read a lot on the current child abuse cases and the different threads on here, i am left wondering why on earth a parent of an abuse victim would go to an elder with the problem first and not straight to police?.

  as a parent myself i know that if anything like that happend to my child (this applies to when i was still an active jw as well as now) i would not hesitate in going to the authorities as soon as i found out, it wouldn't of crossed mine or my husbands mind to go to an elder.

  maybe after we had reported it but definitely never as the first port of call.

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  MissFit

  Rattigan: who are these children going to trust? They already had a trusted (usually) adult lie and abuse them. You have no idea the threats and the lies they are told.

  In our case they were told no one would believe them. He was a well respected member of the congergation.

  Also, he had spent years instilling fear of him in us. We were taught to view the authorities with suspicion. We were always threatened with being put in a state home. We were told horror stories about it.

  Feeling Free: yes, we stopped it in time. The reason I started pressuring my sisters to tell was that he started wanting the little one to stay home with him during the meetings. I volunteered to stay in her place.

  since my sisters told me what moves he would make , I was able to redirect him. He still made a pass but I did not go along. He then told me if I mentioned it to anyone he would say I was exaggerating.

  I did not confront him because he can become violent.

  I was at my wits end. I just knew it was wrong and not my sisters fault.
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  47

  Why don't parents of an abused child go straight to police, why go to an elder first??

  by FeelingFree in

  1. watchtower
  2. child-abuse

  i hope i don't come across as judgemental but having read a lot on the current child abuse cases and the different threads on here, i am left wondering why on earth a parent of an abuse victim would go to an elder with the problem first and not straight to police?.

  as a parent myself i know that if anything like that happend to my child (this applies to when i was still an active jw as well as now) i would not hesitate in going to the authorities as soon as i found out, it wouldn't of crossed mine or my husbands mind to go to an elder.

  maybe after we had reported it but definitely never as the first port of call.

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  MissFit

  Oops, Double post.
• 
  47

  Why don't parents of an abused child go straight to police, why go to an elder first??

  by FeelingFree in

  1. watchtower
  2. child-abuse

  i hope i don't come across as judgemental but having read a lot on the current child abuse cases and the different threads on here, i am left wondering why on earth a parent of an abuse victim would go to an elder with the problem first and not straight to police?.

  as a parent myself i know that if anything like that happend to my child (this applies to when i was still an active jw as well as now) i would not hesitate in going to the authorities as soon as i found out, it wouldn't of crossed mine or my husbands mind to go to an elder.

  maybe after we had reported it but definitely never as the first port of call.

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  MissFit

  Feeling free:

  Good question. You must also remember that many abusers are family members or close friends.

  Sometimes the families have their own agenda and own reputation to uphold.

  Many times sexual abuse is treated like a sin instead of a crime.

  Feeling Free, yes you are more independant thinking than most JWs.

  Btw: when I was 12 ,my 13 year old foster sister came to me to confide that our elder foster father had abused her.

  Some of our concerns:

  Would anyone believe us?

  Would he retaliate?

  What would become of us as a family?

  would foster mother blame her?

  I found out that night that he had been abusing

  my younger sister for years.

  It was several days before I could talk them into coming with me to tell someone. We had one more younger sister. I argued that the only way we could protect her was to tell someone.

  Because of the 2 witness rule, even at age 12 I knew my word alone would not do.

  (This was in the 70's.)

  We did not think of calling the police, we went to our foster mother who went straight to the elders.

  She had her own agenda. As children we were reliant on the adult's decisions.