Posts by neverin

8

Witnesses having children

by JH in

jw
friends

i remember when i started mingling with the jw's in the mid 80's, they said that it was too late in this system to have children.

the great tribulation just around the corner made it a bad idea to have children, they said.. today with just about "zero increase" having children is a way of ensuring future witnesses.

i didn't set foot in a kh in 2 years, but if i remember well, the only new faces i saw were children that became adults.. i wonder if they still discourage witnesses from having children...or do they see it as something good now, since not many are joining?

neverin

The dates given for the guidance make sense to me now. My JW (now Elder) brother got married in 1985 and he and his wife were determined NEVER to have children in this system of things. Amazingly in 1993 my Sister in Law became pregnant (planned) and they had a son the day after I had my eldest daughter. However they have only had the one child and he is indoctrinated to beleive that the end is nigh - he asked me in August 2002 if I thougth it would happen by 'the end of the year?' poop lamb he hasn't grasped the fact that hid Dad,Grandad & Uncle have been waiting for 30+ years for this imminent event - will he be preaching it to his kids?

BTW the only time I have been really hurt by this stupid belief is when I had my eldest daughter christened in a C of E church and my Dad told me I had signed her death warrant - my reply was that if there was anything after death at least I would be going to the same place as my baby, but guess what? We're still here along with my 2nd daughter and wonderful husband.

8

IS Gordon Watson the latest WT victim?

by Nathan Natas in

jw
friends

the new 2004 yearbook (thanks, blueblades!

) informs faithful jws .

bible knowledge can help us to shun"artfully contrived false stories" and to remain faithful to jehovah.

neverin

Simple Sally

You say that an elder cannot remain in post if is not beyond reproach, yet the man who abused me when I was a child was sheilded in his position for 3 years after it became known to the WTBS what he had done (when as an adult I reported him to social services). The official advice was for him to 'carry on as normal, she (meaning me) hasn't made a fuss so keep quiet and hopefully it will all die down'. He was allowed to step down, stating that his wife was ill and needed his support, and he only did this because I reported him to the police and he was put on the sex offenders register. Even now over 2 years after his arrest many in his congregation don't know what happened and continue to allow him access to their children.

20

Should I invite the parents to our wedding??

by smurfy in

jw
friends

ok, here's a problem that i am looking for a little advice with.

my fiance is an ex jw and his parents (and other family members) are still practicing.

they have pretty much totally cut him off since he moved in with me.

neverin

Hi you two love birds

I'm glad you've decided to invite them and give the the info they need to make their choice. I married my hubby 14 years ago in church and my Dad wouldn't give me away but he did come into church to see me get married. My brothers and their wives stayed outside the church but came to the reception and had not problems eating and drinking with us. I feel you are the better people for putting the ball in their court and showing by example that us 'worldly' people are actually quite nice!!

Hope you have a fantastic day, health and happiness always.

8

Convicted JW Elder (Davis) Calls JW Victim "A Liar" In Local Paper

by qua in

jw
friends

http://silentlambs.org/newsletter/newsletteritem.cfm?sendoutid=148

shall we believe a convict or the victim, and the answer is the victim.

jerk.

neverin

This rang such a bell with me. I was molested at the age of 10 by my brothers 21 year old friend. At the age of 32 I confronted him and he swore blind that no way was I 10 but that it was more a case of mutual teenage fumblings. I asked this guy how old he thought he was when it happened and he said "about 17" then I asked him "how old are you now?" he replied "43" well I'm 32" I said " so if you are 11 years older than me and you were 17 then I was only 6 so that makes it worse". He really had convinced himself that he was 17 and I was a teenager!! I still cant decide whether he is a manipulator or if he had just managed to justify his actions to himself over the years.

39

does anyone remember being a child as a JW and not having holiday?

by franklin J in

jw
friends

i am curious to know how many others shared the same experiences as me as a child, growing up as a jw.. surfing this board has brought back a flood of memories ( i am secure enough to deal with them) not all good.

i have been away from jws for sometime, and remember being a child in school and having to explain why i do not salute the flag, why i have to leave the room when there is a birthday or christmas party, why i had to explain when i was seen going door to door ( i grew up to be a pioneer).

being "different" is hard for a child.. now that i have 3 children of my own, who are fortunatelly not growing up as jw, to see how secure and well adjusted they are in school is comforting.

neverin

I am the youngest of 3 brought up by an elder father and unbeleiving mother. My two older brothers have been in 'the truth' since my Day joined when they were about 6 & 7 yrs old (just before I was born). I have never attended meetings as my mom fought tooth and nail to keep me with her but I did have to endure bible studies at home whenever mom went out. I lived a sort of half life when it came to birthdays etc. I never had an actual birthday party but would have a 'tea party' about 2 months afterwards - whats the difference? I wasn't allowed into assemblies until I was about 13 yrs old and just went in anyway. I couldn't take part in christmas plays etc but my mom would smuggle in my best dress for xmas parties at school and we would write xmas cards on meeting nights so my dad didn't know I was sending them. I never went to birthday parties or joined the choir or brownies - I was really left out because all my friends were 'wordly' as I didn't go to the meetings so didn't have any friends in 'the truth'.

The real hypocrisy even now is that my mom always made sure we had christmas - turkey dinner, presents, crackers etc and my dad and brothers have always accepted the gifts and eaten the food!! The other hypocrisy was that all the time my dad thought my friends were a bad influence on me it was by brothers 'very good family, high standing' friend who at the age of 21 had his hands down my knickers every week - I was 10 yrs old.

So the effect all this has had on me is that my kids have massive birthday parties every year and more christmas presents than you can shake a stick at as well as gifts at other times.BTW I don't let any witnesses near my kids unless I'm with them - can't think why!!

41

A question for the Brits...

by Country Girl in

jw
friends

i've so enjoyed my conversations with the folks from the uk and australia on here.

i'm enchanted by their darling expressions, and different banter than we have in the us.

but i've always noticed one thing.

neverin

Hi Brummie

No offence meant - I've got nothing against Brummies ( I'm married to one) it's just that you have trouble with words such as 'haf' past the hour, Orstralia (Australia) and Orstin (Austin).

Still I'd defend you to those ignorant gits from down south who think we're all like pig from Pipkins.

Cheers

Neverin

41

A question for the Brits...

by Country Girl in

jw
friends

i've so enjoyed my conversations with the folks from the uk and australia on here.

i'm enchanted by their darling expressions, and different banter than we have in the us.

but i've always noticed one thing.

neverin

British accdents vary from town to town. I come from an area of the West Midlands called the Black Country (due to our industrial heritage) yet people from other parts of the UK, especially those soft southerners think that I'm a Brummie - Big Mistake!! I've never heard a Midlands accent on TV that sounds real - no one I've ever met talks like that it's a real pet hate of mine.

Sidewalk - pavement

drugstore - chemist

sneakers - trainers

bum - tramp ( a bum to us is a backside/ass)

jello - jelly

cookies - biscuits

biscuits - scones

Thanks all I can think of right now but what is it with calling the fringe of your hair bangs? It took me ages to work it out.

19

Any Advice - Afteraffects of taking the Reality Pill

by dobby in

jw
friends

i have been posting on this board on and off for about two years now.

it has been a tremendous help to me to read other people's experiences, to laugh, cry and just plain identify.

however, something weird is going on with me in the last six months and i am totally freaked out.

neverin

Hi Dobby

Although new to posting I thought I might share my thoughts on death with you. Although I have never been an active witness I was brought up by my elder father and 'worldly' mother and tought about the idea of the new system for as long as I can remember. I am now 34 and have gone through many stages of beleif. I recently had minor surgery and for the first time underwent a general anasthetic, the effect of this has made me lose any fear of death itself. I remember the needle going in and then it seemed that the next second a voice was saying 'open your eyes' yet more than an hour had passed. Now I really beleive that death is nothingness, no heaven, no hell, no reincarnation etc just gone. If you think about it you didn't exist before you were born so why should you exist after you die?

That's not to say that I'm not worried about dying young and leaving my children behind, but I do now appreciate the life I have - because this is it. I can't live my life collectin brownie points to go somewhere better - this life is good and I'm living it NOW!!!

Take care of yourself and I hope that you will eventually find the peaceful thoughts you seek.

ReEgards

Neverin

19

Any Advice - Afteraffects of taking the Reality Pill

by dobby in

jw
friends

i have been posting on this board on and off for about two years now.

it has been a tremendous help to me to read other people's experiences, to laugh, cry and just plain identify.

however, something weird is going on with me in the last six months and i am totally freaked out.

neverin

Hi Dobby

Although new to posting I thought I might share my thoughts on death with you. Although I have never been an active witness I was brought up by my elder father and 'worldly' mother and tought about the idea of the new system for as long as I can remember. I am now 34 and have gone through many stages of beleif. I recently had minor surgery and for the first time underwent a general anasthetic, the effect of this has made me lose any fear of death itself. I remember the needle going in and then it seemed that the next second a voice was saying 'open your eyes' yet more than an hour had passed. Now I really beleive that death is nothingness, no heaven, no hell, no reincarnation etc just gone. If you think about it you didn't exist before you were born so why should you exist after you die?

That's not to say that I'm not worried about dying young and leaving my children behind, but I do now appreciate the life I have - because this is it. I can't live my life collectin brownie points to go somewhere better - this life is good and I'm living it NOW!!!

Take care of yourself and I hope that you will eventually find the peaceful thoughts you seek.

ReEgards

Neverin

5

Fading?

by neverin in

jw
friends

i have been lurking here for about 2 years now and have decided to 'come out' of lurkdom.

a brief history - although i have never attended meetings my dad and 2 brothers are elders - mom has never been 'in the truth', dad joined when they had been married about 10 yrs.

anyway cut to the chase - i was abused by my brothers friend - i was 10 her was 22 - and i only told my parents 2 years ago, aged 32. the whole mess is a very long story and perhaps i will take the time to tell all in the future.

neverin

Hi All

I have been lurking here for about 2 years now and have decided to 'come out' of lurkdom. A brief history - although I have never attended meetings my Dad and 2 brothers are elders - Mom has never been 'in the truth', Dad joined when they had been married about 10 yrs.

Anyway cut to the chase - I was abused by my brothers friend - I was 10 her was 22 - and I only told my parents 2 years ago, aged 32. The whole mess is a very long story and perhaps I will take the time to tell all in the future. Suffice to say that my Dad was very let down when he realised that his fellow elders, and every level above couldn't give a toss. I have noticed that over the past few months he is not too fussed about missing the odd meeting and tonight my Mom told me that as his hall is being refurbished his Sunday meetings have been altered to evenings. He has told her that as Sunday is the day me and my family visit he wont be going to his meetings but 'may' pop along to the odd meeting at other halls 'now and then'.

Do you think that he is perhaps make a discreet withdrawal? He is secretary in his cong and gets really P***ed Off about other elders thinking it's a doddle and leaving him to pick up the crap. It seems that to outside observerers he is talking the talk but I see that he is no longer walking the walk. This would have been unthinkable a few years ago, in fact he has been known to go to meetings when on his last legs (tired, ill etc).

What does everyone else think - am reading too much into this? My brothers are very 'in' along with wives, kids etc so the ramifications of him leaving are abviously huge.

Regards

Neverin