Wow, six, even though she was not your "favorite person at the time", it sounds to me as though you really cared for her, and that the elders hurting her really hurt you too. I'm sorry to pry, but the statement "The elders won't be hurting her anymore" really worries me, did something happen to her? "She also wanted them to try and stop her, she wanted them to understand how she got to that point, she wanted them to try and understand, she wanted them to care." I've seen this many times, and it always seems that the elders do not abide by the saying "to sin is human, to forgive is divine" (or something like that, my memory is not what it used to be)
maybesbabies
JoinedPosts by maybesbabies
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53
To those who were DFd
by stillajwexelder inthose of you on this board who were given the big d -- how did you actually feel at the moment the chairman of the jc that dfd you said those words -- angry -upset -toatl relief -- yipee?
again sorry if there has been a post on this subject before --but an update for us newer ones never does any harm
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53
To those who were DFd
by stillajwexelder inthose of you on this board who were given the big d -- how did you actually feel at the moment the chairman of the jc that dfd you said those words -- angry -upset -toatl relief -- yipee?
again sorry if there has been a post on this subject before --but an update for us newer ones never does any harm
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maybesbabies
I was neverDF'd, since I was never baptized (I resisted, knowing that I was not ready), but I sat through my moms DF'ing, and felt totally horrified, since I knew that she truly believed in the religion. The thing was, she really felt that she was not loved by Big J, and died feeling that she had lost His love, and would never regain it. I almost feel that she would have survived had it not been for that religion. On the other hand, I feel that she finally got the chance to live, after she was DF'd. There was so much that she had not been able to experience in that religion,and though not all of it was good, I think she got the chance to realize she was just another human.....being. I think it was the best thing for her, since she actually got to think about her life, before she died. At least she knew that there was more out there before it was all over.
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What to Believe In Now?
by Frannie Banannie inprior to being borganized, i was captivated by bible scriptures and doctrines....but....after od-ing on scriptural content and doctrines according to the borg for over two decades, i began researching the scriptures to discover too many inconsistencies, even in what was alleged to be god's word.....the writings of earthling men, said to be inspired by god...... during the od-ing, i experienced quite a few personal spiritual incidents or events, which served at the time to confirm to me that the scriptures themselves were valid as to their veracity and content.....but.... after researching and discovering the inconsistencies in them, i've wondered if the spiritual experiences i had were inspired by what i had read and believed in the scriptures, as i had *believed* in those words.....like....hallucinations caused by strong belief or brain-washing....you know my drift, i'm sure.....i do know that some of the spiritual phenomena toward the end of my being borganized was leading me out of the borg...definitely...no questions about that....so....to me....even if there's the possibility that my experiences were caused by being immersed mentally and emotionally in scriptural content, the end result was good...and beneficial to me, since they did free me and open my eyes to the real truth of the matter....... now that i've discovered the inconsistencies in the scriptures and religious doctrines, i have only blind faith in god left to me.....even though i sense that he's here for me and listens and answers when i ask, it's sometimes difficult to deal with....i keep wondering if there isn't something or someone i should be putting my faith in....but the answer always appears to be "no"......i can't find god in a book.....i can't find him in a building or organization.....i don't know what tomorrow....or next week, next month, next year or the next century or millenium will bring to mankind...... could it be that life is once again becoming an adventure for which i do not know what the outcome is?
like it was when i was young?
if it is.....then thank god!....for to always know what and where i was supposed to be and what tomorrow and the future would bring was to live in fear....fear of not living up to my part in someone else's plan.....be it god's or mankind's.....i much prefer to "pioneer" my life....one day at a time....even if i don't know what to expect from it....should i seek enlightenment beyond what has been given to me?.
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maybesbabies
My dear sweet Frannie, I have not been on this board long, but long enough to see the loving, caring person you are!!! I believe in the adage, "The Kingdom of Heaven is within you" (can't remember verbatim, but more or less). Inside you is all you need to know, you feel love towards your fellow man,and a desire to do the good things that counteract evil in this world. To me, that is working on the side of good, whether there is a Gawd or not!!! You are a beautiful person, and whether Gawd exists or not is inconsequential!!! The fact that your heart is inspired to do good shows that you excel beyond the elders, preachers, parsons, fathers, priests, bishops, chaplains, etc. YOU are a good person, and IMO that is what matters most!!!!! you Frannie, you are awesome!!!!!
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How do we stop feeling like exjws?
by Brummie ini dont know.
today i had an episode of dissociation, the feeling of being totally disconnected from everything and everyone.
as if all of a sudden i knew no one or wasnt connected to anyone.
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maybesbabies
Zen Nudist, first of all, welcome to the board!!! Second of all, you make a very good point!!! The only problem is that while we may accept this reasoning through our logical minds, it is difficult to process through our emotional minds. Logically, we know that we must put the past behind, that the future has yet to materialize, and that the present is the only reality that exists. But emotionally, the past still has it's hold on our current thinking, and the hope for the future is marred by the past. We can only project a future that is in line with what we have learned from the past, therefore we cannot envision a change that we do not know we are capable of!!!!! I understand the pain and longing that come with being part of something that you cannot regain. It is the feeling of being wanted and needed, of being part of something greater than yourself. For me, being on this board has brought that feeling back to me, maybe not as intensely as before, but still in a significant way. I hope that maybe just being loved may bring a feeling of connectedness for Brummie, as it has for me. Brummie, we love ya dahhhling, and we understand. The past still does hold sway, but the future has limitless possibilities for breaking the mold and being the person you want to be!!!!
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How do we stop feeling like exjws?
by Brummie ini dont know.
today i had an episode of dissociation, the feeling of being totally disconnected from everything and everyone.
as if all of a sudden i knew no one or wasnt connected to anyone.
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maybesbabies
Nothing new to add, just wanted to hug Brummie! ((((((((((Brummie))))))))))
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Did You Ever Steal?
by minimus intoday, i heard about how a very beloved relative of ours that recently passed away from cancer, had a reputation for stealing.
she would often go in stores and switch tags on clothing or other items (among other things).
we were shocked to find this out by a number of other relatives.
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maybesbabies
Gawwd!!! When we were homeless as kids, K-Mart was our mama and our daddy! We stole so much, we mighta been the reason K-Mart went bankrupt!!! It didn't seem bad at the time, we didn't have money, didn't have hope of getting any, we were hungry and wearing rags, and K-Mart had all this stuff!!!! When our family stabilized a little (after six years!), we stopped stealing. I don't condone stealing, but I look back and say "Thank Gawd for K-Mart"!!!!
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the elders came
by the mole inmy friend and my sister has betrayed me in my confidence to ask them on issues i have with the org.
i admitted that i dont think what the org is telling is all truth.
so the elders came and whipped me but i would not bow down to them, my freedom is at stake and i will not be a robot.
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maybesbabies
WOW!!! That is bravery in action!! My heart is with you, I know this must be a difficult time. No lite te bastardes corborundum! (don't let the bastards get you down). I hope all turns out well with you, and applaud you for standing up for your self, and your rights as a human being!
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Toxic Parents Toxic Religion
by Lady Lee inin the book toxic parents, by susan forward she discusses the issue of parenting and just what the term toxic parents means.
on pages 6-9 of the book she talks a bit about abuse and then has a short quiz which i will post.. .
what i would like to try is to see how well the issue of toxic parents fits a toxic religion.
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maybesbabies
Thank you Lee, I think Xan and I probably answered yes to the majority of those questions!! Thanks Xan, for your posts, it helps to understand the reasons behind our actions. I am just beginning to learn how to be independent, not relying on the actions of others to judge how I should react in turn. I still have a problem with " hypervigilance trying to anticipate needs", and remember all to well how we were when we would come home from school, or wherever, and the first thing we'd do was try to figure out the mood of our parents. Are they angry? Am I going to come home and face a beating for something that I didn't even know I'd done wrong? Our greatest hope sometimes was that they were too busy attacking each other to notice us, because it seemed that if they noticed us, it would ultimately bring pain. Our mother was the master of "you know what you did!", and my father was the master of making you feel worthless, telling you what an idiot you are, and basically breaking you down until you cried, just so he could laugh at you. I can't remember ever being told that we had done something right. My father used to use "well, if you had done better, Jehovah wouldn't be punishing the family, would he?". EVERYTHING was the childrens fault, from their failed relationship to being homeless, it was all because we weren't good enough. Sorry, I just had to vent, those posts had me crying! Thanks to both of you, love you Xan!!!!
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Do Ex-JW men really understand women?
by Mindchild inhey guys, .
in light of our past shared watchtower delusions, especially relating to understanding women, i thought it would be interesting to see how well everyone scores compared to your real world counterparts in understanding women.. you can take the sexual aptitude test here: http://www.menshealth.com/cda/quizleadin/1,6927,s1-2-0-0-427,00.html.
no cheating now!
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maybesbabies
That test is total crap!!!!!! I prefer an honest man to suave man, in fact, I generally can't stand guys that try to be suave and cool!!!! I like men that are honest and upfront, how the heck else are you supposed to get to know someone??? That test should have been named "How to get a mindless bimbo who only wants you for your wallet". I'm with you Azzie, that test really riled me up!!! BTW, you men who failed the test are awesome, you gave the answers I'd like to hear from a man, y'all are sweeties!!!!
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Weapons of mass destruction at last found in iraq
by Pleasuredome insome late news just in....
a smiling defense secretary donald rumsfeld told the world's media at the pentagon today that it has been confirmed that a massive cache of pea shooters of the type pictured below have been unearthed near mosul in the north of iraq.
also, in an unpopulated region close to the syrian border, us troops discovered large fields designed to supply the ammunition for these weapons, i..e. peas.
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maybesbabies
Bwahahahhaha!!!! That's too funny!!! Love the "whirled peas" SFJim!!! (I have that T-Shirt)