i realize some people feel they can't just leave the religion.
they have family, friends, position.. some elders mistakenly believe that they might be able to reform the cult from within.
the truth is, the religion is never really going to change.
Minimus,
While everyone's circumstances are different, I agree. Get out and let the chips fall where they may. At least you know where you stand and no longer have to play the games. I haven't heard a thing in over a decade from brother (no great loss, always a JW bully) or sister (kinda sad). But, hey, my children eventually followed me out and my life improved in every way. The only games I play are the one I choose. Ha!
i came across this lecture at 3am not being able to sleep by dan baker.
it details his transition from christian fundamentalist to atheist and the various shades in-between.
he realises that every denomination of christian can open the bible and prove to you that they have the right interpretation and everyone else is wrong.
Dis-Member,
I have been exactly where you are. Don't think in terms of, "where do I go from here?" You don't have to go anywhere. You are free now to live your life anyway you choose, without the worries of influence of men or what faith you should have! When I came to this conclusion for myself, it felt as though I was clear headed for the first time in my life and a ton of burden had been lifted. If you have to go somewhere, go enjoy your life! It's not a "dead end" it's the beginning!
always the fashionista amongst the governing body members, mr. stephen lett recently showed us how even an older man can display a certain swagger, a certain je nesais quoi that says, "i'm one of the anointed, and you're not!".
he does this in so many ways, but the one i want to draw our attention to is the way he rocked the theocratic fashion world with his wearing of a very manly pinkie ring in a recent wtbts video.. - -.
stephen lett of the governing body of jehovah's witnesses demonstrating how to wear a pinkie ring.
I'm pretty sure if had been aware of this guy I would have left earlier. Ha!
i'm really interested in this question because i've heard for years that if you forgo further education and go pioneering, when you have a family down the track you will get a good job because jehovah will provide for you because you pioneered.
as long as i was a kool-aid drinker, even then, i thought, "how does pioneering pay your bills?
surely education should come first.
Julia,
Glad to see this bump. As a newbie and former lurker there are many topics I have read and did not post a reply. I was married very young. My Father-In-Law was a nonJW and a physician. He stressed education and even offered to pay for mine. Being the good JW that I was and convinced the big A was coming soon I turned him down. After all what would be the use in having a degree in the "new world?" Fast Forward 20 years, the first thing I did as I was exiting was enroll at the University. I was 40ish and wondered if it was too late because I would be 45 before I could have a degree. I enrolled in one class just to see how it would go. Next semester I enrolled in two classes. Before long I was working full time and taking full time classes. I figured if all goes well I will be 45 either way. 45 with a degree or 45 without a degree. Receiving my degree was a highlight in my life and it not only opened many doors it was great therapy as I was exiting Wally World. I write this in hopes of encouraging anyone at any age to pursue an education. It will not only open many doors it will open your eyes!
Tigersuit,
Congratulations on your journey. Reading CoC was a defining moment for me. It helped tip the scales toward leaving Wally World. Like DJS, I shook my head and softly laughed out loud. (I read the entire book in one sitting at a university library) One thing that struck me is how Franz described how many, maybe most, GB meetings were about what should or shouldn't be disfellowshipping offenses. How trivial! In my naïveté I thought these all important meetings would be the GB coming together to intensely pray for wisdom, insight, "new light," and help so they could properly feed the flock. I felt so foolish having had so much trust in these mere men. On the other hand I felt relieved and pursued my new life of freedom. I enrolled at the university, eventually received my degree, moved up the company ladder, traveled, divorced my deeply entrenched-never-will-listen-to-reason-about wally world wife, set an example for my now exited adult children and now I'm living happily ever after. If I have any advice for newly exited ones it would be give yourself a little time to clear your head, don't waste time looking back and pursue the real new world ahead of you!
take this 72 yes/no question test to find out.. http://www.humanmetrics.com/cgi-win/jtypes2.asp.
Always fascinating to me. I took a psych class 10 years ago that featured this and other personality assessments. While not an exact science they can be very accurate. Whether or not you want to put much stock in them it's fun to read what your personality type is and if your perception is the same. I was an INFP then, this time an INFJ. Strong I, borderline N, stronger tendency toward F and borderline J.
incredible.
absolutely incredible.
so i asked, " isn't it 100 years since 1914 ?
Flipper,
Too much energy for me...most of us have been where she is, I would have just told her I appreciate her time and no thank you
i am on three or four sites and lots of guys are showing an interest and trying to be genuine.
it reminds me of being love bombed by the jws.
i am having so much fun and loving all the attention, i almost got carried away with it all, until i got a pm on jwn.. i have just been absorbing it all and it dawned on me i am still vulnerable, and possibly not ready to date.
Do I need more time to recover from WT before I move on? - Kate
I developed a close circle of friends first. Now I am ready to date, but not be exclusive. - Kate
I think you just answered your own question :) Go for it!
the unknown writer of the gospel of john put the following words in jesus' mouth, "blessed are those who have not seen and yet have believed.".
persuading countless generations that it is a virtue to believe incredible things on insufficient evidence, is one of religion's cleverest tricks.. the more incredible the claim; the more flimsy the evidence; the stronger the belief; the greater the virtue.. this is the exact opposite of how we operate in every other aspect of our lives.. rational people must demand objective evidence for everything they are asked to believe.
"extraordinary claims demand extraordinary evidence".. leaving the dogmatic claims of the watchtower is only a first step.
On my way out, faith was difficult for me to realize is a man made "virtue" to make one feel guilty or inadequate. If you don't have faith in, fill in the blank, you must not be a good human being or you're not blessed or, you know, blah blah. I used to think blind faith was essential and desireable. When I lost faith in Wally World I wanted to put that faith in something else but for the first time I realized that kind of faith is not only undesireable but should be avoided at all cost. I don't need that kind of faith! I do have faith, but a different kind. I have faith in my children, my friends, and myself.
so this is the ultimate dilemma.
my wife and i are on the same page.
do we fade, in which all our friends, and i stress friends call us and feel sick and hurt and hurt and we feel guilty; or do we da so we tell the wt what we see as wrong as what we see that lead us to believe its a false religion; or do we df and let me or my wife let them catch us at some wrong doing and stop going to meetigs..... .
Jon,
Don't worry so much. Don't let them have so much power. Live your life and let them do their thing, whatever that might be. I sort of did both, I faded and later was df'ed. After years of fading away it was funny no one called or bothered me. When they found out that I was going to remarry they tried every way possible including many phone calls and even registered mail (which I refused) to get in touch. Finally I answered a call and told the "brother" that it was funny they didn't try to get in touch till they thought they had something with which to discipline me. He literally laughed and gave me a half hearted example of when they did try to get in touch years before. I didn't know what he was talking about. Anyway, have fun with it, live your life and watch the circus begin. You will find many new friends, friends that won't stop associating with you just because you decide to not believe in something as they do.
