I have heard some people say that they have low self esteem. I don't understand that. Why did you choose to have low self esteem? I have many thoughts on this, but I will save them until others voice their opinions.
My compliments to patio for the way you expressed yourself. Very well said. On my soapbox of defense -- I, too, have heard some people say that they have low self-esteem. I have also heard some people say that they feel haughty or that they have social phobia and are afraid of personal disclosure or that they are afraid of failure or even success and I can't say that I understand all these different feelings. I have experienced a few of these myself, so I can relate due to these experiences. I understand the hard work that it takes to overcome horrific, life altering events in your childhood that you had no control over or understanding of -- and those that you depended upon for survival CHOSE to lie to you and twist your feelings and your thoughts and behavior until you simply believed them and quite trusting yourself... I CHOSE to survive, whatever it took... Life is worth living, even in the dark some days.
I think that Larc's question was intended to show that we might actually have some influence in the matter of our own low self esteem.This type of question is often used by psychologists to help empower people. Often the anger such a question can cause does in fact get a person to defend himself vigorously. This in itself can raise one's self esteem.
Englishman - I won't debate intent. It's irrelevant in my book. You may be correct that this type of question is often used by psychologists to help empower people. But, a couple notes -- I highly doubt that it is said as an opening comment... out of the blue... to a patient he knows nothing about... rather... I suspect... It would be intermixed in conversation, when the psych intuits that the person could "use" a little push -- and then gently probe and listen and reflect upon the response he got... I highly doubt that he would listen for a while, then drop into his own life story, then say "There is no reason, on a mental level, to believe that you are a bad person." Wrong, Wrong, Wrong... There a damn good reason on a mental level to believe this... I was taught to believe some of the sh*t I believe, just as I was taught english and science... only difference is, I threw out some of the english and science cuz they were just teachers who didn't give a d*mn. I tried hard to hang on to every last word, thought, and feeling I was taught by those that I depended upon for survival. When I actually drop all the mental reasons, and start stirring up all the emotional stuff... then it really gets bad... but that is what it takes to find the tools, the language, the stability, the awareness, and the understanding that the future does offer us some choices... some easier than others... but, on a mental level, especially, I can't figure out why the hell I have as much self esteem as I do... Why am I not depressed, homeless, or drugged up like other members of my family... It isn't because I made a choice to have some self-esteem and it isn't because someone said anything along the lines of --
I know you have had bouts of self doubt, esteem issues, and depression. I just want you to know that all of us here really like you, and I hope that, that accounts for something in your book.
This is a good example of negative tranference using NLP speak, as was the original question... Very emotionally charged method of infering negative traits upon those you are talking to...all the while it will obviously make you feel better about yourself, and give you all the appearances of a healthy self-esteem if you talk as if your positive outlook diminishes and humilates others. one_ugly_time
