one_ugly_time

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Posts by one_ugly_time

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  29

  Mickey Mouse vs. Looney Toons

  by Leolaia in

  1. social
  2. entertainment

  did anyone catch the looney toons marathon the other week on boomerang?

  i have to say that i always thought disney mickey mouse cartoons sucked and were never funny to me.

  who would you rather watch -- mickey or bugs bunny?

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  one_ugly_time

  Jessic Rbbit

  Definitely a Looney Toon fan
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  13

  Hot news !

  by Simon in

  1. social
  2. current

  new jehovahs-witness.com message board opens .

  .

  ok, ok...probably not really hot news 'cause you already knew about it but i've got to add a few posts haven't i to get things started

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  one_ugly_time

  Too funny.

  Another GREAT example of a GREAT post that got exactly 1 reply when it meant something, and now 5 or more replies when it is meaningless. Oh, but over 500 views !

  Keep 'em coming Simon. Don't get too discouraged if no one replies to you. You'll do fine. We (pluralism) love you.

  ** ugly **
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  6

  I can't keep up...

  by one_ugly_time in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  thank you all for all the great info.

  the list of great posters on this site is much too long for me to remember.

  i have searched and read quite a bit and recently decided to post and add a few of my thoughts and dry humor.

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  one_ugly_time

  Thank you all for all the great info. The list of great posters on this site is much too long for me to remember. I have searched and read quite a bit and recently decided to post and add a few of my thoughts and dry humor. But I must say, the Active Topics moves so fast that I simply can't keep up.

  I need more time in my life to absorb more of this material and spit back out my thoughts. Like all the insane comments I could add to Blondie's recent post about the WT comments. And I really want to add to Lady Lee's deep, insightful material. I will only list these two tonight, but there are many many more.

  Like I said, I can't keep up, but, to comment on one other topic I saw, I don't believe that the number of responses is at all indicative of the relevancy of the material. I hope to post enough one day to help even one person understand that there is a shared pain, a common bond, and healing way for the human condition we all find ourselves in.

  That would be enough for me to say thanks for all that I have been able to read here. And if I can keep my children out of cults, abusive situations, and relationships built upon "inherited" dysfunctions that would be enough for me to say thanks for all the awareness that I have gained by honestly feeling what others have endured.

  I have a long way to go to get rid of my dysfunctions, my haughtiness, my obsessions, my undercutting looks of disapproval, my unintentional loaded language, my destructive mannerisms of mismatched behavior/voice tone/actual words, and most of all my internal feelings of disgust and low self-esteem. I am becoming aware that these issues are not isolated to me. I am starting to feel better writing responses, even if they don't get posted. I am slowly, slowly walking the fine line between over the edge anger, which will cause me to destroy everything in my path, and staying stuck. I am finally trying to really connect with people for the first time in my adult life.

  It's looking like this process is going to take me a while, so I'm not going to try to keep up... I'll be around in spurts.

  Hi and Thanks.
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  37

  Truly loving two people (KInd of a response to the Soul Mate thing)

  by ADubsFriend in

  1. social
  2. relationships

  i was reading the soul mate thread and wanted to ask: how many of you have truly loved and been in love with two people at the same time?.

  i have been married 30 years to a wonderful man.

  i do love him and he is crazy about me.

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  one_ugly_time

  It'll work Stacey.... so long as when you get bored, you are basically honest with your partner, so that you can have fun on the side without feeling guilty ... But since your new love is all prepared for your bi position, I imagine you would probably have pretty good luck letting your next sweetheart move in with you...
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  37

  Truly loving two people (KInd of a response to the Soul Mate thing)

  by ADubsFriend in

  1. social
  2. relationships

  i was reading the soul mate thread and wanted to ask: how many of you have truly loved and been in love with two people at the same time?.

  i have been married 30 years to a wonderful man.

  i do love him and he is crazy about me.

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  one_ugly_time

  Your husband sounds quite understanding and forgiving. His love for you is saying "Honey, I love you enough to lose you if that is what you want...". Quite a man. It sounds like he also realizes the push-pull of rebellion. Anytime you tell your teenagers they can't have something, what do they do ? So, instead, talk to them gently, let them decide, and accept them for the choices they make. It sounds to me like your husband will always love you... regardless of the path you choose.

  Now, this "in love" thing... How many defenses have you dropped around your affair partner that you maintain around your husband? That's are really hard question to answer honestly, and may take a counselor to help you sort it out.

  Also, how old do you feel around your affair partner? Did you seem to age regress when this feeling started? To what age? Teenage perhaps... flirting, giggling, breaking taboos? If this is true, your husband can sense it, and your defenses around him are probably getting a little harder to penetrate.

  And, finally, I would ask you... what wounds did he let you expose, without criticism or complaint? And is the "romance" really reciprocal? Is he disclosing just as much as you are, without being asked?

  These are tough questions... there are many more to ask yourself. And there are people that accept poly relationships. If it is not against any of the participants morals, then with open, honest communication may you can all live together?

  One last thought.... You may be his "out" from a bad marriage also. Personally, I would stay clear until he quits justifying his actions and talks with his feet. Just my opinion.

  Good Luck... you are not in an easy position to get out of regardless of your decision at this point.
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  34

  *shakes head at these lyrics*

  by Vivamus in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  here is this guy telling his g/f that he needs her, he wants her, but there is no way he is ever gonna love her.

  but that ain't getting us nowhere .

  'cause two out of three ain't bad .

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  one_ugly_time

  He played a good part in the Rocky Horror Picture Show, too...

  Now there is a classic; filled with a lot of great tunes.
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  431

  Things Learned Along the Way

  by blondie in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i have collected sayings, homilies, whatever along the way that crystallize something bigger i learned.

  i will post a few every day.

  if you have one, please share it.. if you lie down with dogs, you'll get up with fleas.. to belittle is to be little.. somewhere, i got the idea if i just took care of others, i would be taken care of.. blondie

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  one_ugly_time

  Betray yourself and you lose your hold, a moment of fear will leave you cold

  Weakness is not about how we appear, it's about not facing what we fear
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  23

  My Church is a Cult!

  by diotrephes in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  the founder of the church did just that.

  1 corinthians 1:10 now i beseech you, brethren, by the name of our lord jesus christ, that ye all speak the same thing, and that there be no divisions among you; but that ye be perfectly joined together in the same mind and in the same judgment.

  where is the wise?

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  one_ugly_time

  Diotrephes --

  Welcome. I am new here myself. A real eye-opener indeed. As the joker says "Who do you trust?".

  Trust yourself and your feelings.

  What Church are you speaking of. Are you a JW? or are you coming from somewhere else?

  Stick around, do some searches... You will learn alot about breaking free from the mental and emotional control of a cult.

  one_ugly_time
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  34

  *shakes head at these lyrics*

  by Vivamus in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  here is this guy telling his g/f that he needs her, he wants her, but there is no way he is ever gonna love her.

  but that ain't getting us nowhere .

  'cause two out of three ain't bad .

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  one_ugly_time

  IMHO, Jim Steinman was one of the best song writers of all time. His lyrics do make you stop and think about real life, not the way it is portrayed in movies and books. Of course, no one wants to hear the truth. If your going to have sex, you want to hear "I want you, I need you, I love you". Nothing wrong with wanting those things said, but isn't it much less painful knowing someones real feelings and intents right up front. What if someone said "I want you, I love you, but I don't need you". For some people, that would be an insult, but for myself, I would rather be in a relationship that was out of desire -- a want, and for growth -- a love, but leave out the need. When people talk about the myth of only one true love, it makes me sick to my stomach.

  "I want you" - A desire, your a pleasure in my life, I enjoy being with you...
  "I need you" - You give me something that I am lacking... ->
  "But there ain't no way I'm ever going to love you" - I can not reciprocate whole-heartedly for your growth, for your ever changing desires.

  This sounds like momentary "Falling in Love", not the Love of a marriage or an enduring friendship. These lyrics are classic, as are nearly everything Meatloaf sang on "Bat Out Of Hell" and "Bat Out Of Hell II". I'm not a real fan of his other albums.
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  41

  Emotional Terrorism.

  by Englishman in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  sirona's thread about bullying got me thinking.

  there's another type of bullying, which, imho, can be far worse.

  i'm talking about psychological bullying, where fear of a persons hysterical reaction forces us to act in manner that fits in with what the person wants.

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  one_ugly_time

  Englishman --

  How about outrageously flirting with someone to get what one wants? Or maybe behaving appallingly, then snuggling up to someone, either physically or mentally, so as to avoid the consequences? Should we class that as emotional terrorism?

  I often times get confused about whether or not I should worry about the other persons motive, and if they are aware of their behaviors. However, I do believe, that if an individual is able to outrageously flirt then they are quite aware of their behaviors. I recently read the book The Art of Seduction by Robert Greene . This book reveals the escalation of the behavior that an individual will use to spin a subtle but destructive web of confusion, doubt, and feeling of emotional bonding -- when in fact it is all a scripted play to wear down your defenses. If this is the type of individual that you are asking about, then I would say yes, it is emotional terrorism. It is very destructive. In the end, just when you think the relationship is stablizing, the individual will "develop" ticks that are obviously designed to annoy you -- this is an act (as was the entire relationship) so that you are the one to terminate the relationship. These people really exist !

  However, I believe this book also describes the "natural" process of "falling in love"; if and when the behaviors are not planned as a manipulative tool. It is a very interesting human interaction study, with descriptions of JFK, Cleopatra, and other well known historical figures who used this technique for both positive and negative reasons.