i was wondering...what un-written rules have y'all come across ?
the rules that have gotten you or others in trouble?
including all the "grey rules," that are open to interpretation by indubviduals and committee's.
slenderdog:
Poor woman, she had probably been told by her husband not to speak with me, I was as good as DA (read DEAD) to him.
And you were the 'injured party' too. There is an Elder among my relatives and I think they looked for ha, 'guidance' from him on this. So much for family Love, huh ?
I feel like I'm already DA - dead to them, too...
i was wondering...what un-written rules have y'all come across ?
the rules that have gotten you or others in trouble?
including all the "grey rules," that are open to interpretation by indubviduals and committee's.
Sassy:
Rabbit.. good luck on your staying under the radar.. I'm trying to do that same.. although I have a feeling my days are numbered
Yeah, I'm just waiting for the other-shoe-to-drop, it IS known, but since I've been inactive so long...maybe the 'powers that be' in my congregation don't care. My Witness relatives told my sister they would continue to 'talk' to me at family gatherings -- unless something else happens. You of course, know what the 'something else' is ? But they have 'jumped the gun' go figure.
Keep your head down, lee
i was wondering...what un-written rules have y'all come across ?
the rules that have gotten you or others in trouble?
including all the "grey rules," that are open to interpretation by indubviduals and committee's.
Sassy, thanks.
It had been several years since the divorce until my marriage. I did not 'commit' adultry upon marrying like they probably think. But, it was long after the divorce. So-o, how are they justifying their 'jumping ahead' of the Org. ? Shouldn't they "Be waiting on Jehovah's Org. ? This is why I'm thinking -- grey rule.
I am trying to stay under-the-radar, I don't think they will turn me in, even tho' it was very public and I wasn't hiding it. I'm not sure how to approach the subject with them.
'preciate it, Lee
This always works on all powerful computers gods on TV :
PI - figure it out mathematically to it's smallest place...
2nd. question...did I ask that right?
i was wondering...what un-written rules have y'all come across ?
the rules that have gotten you or others in trouble?
including all the "grey rules," that are open to interpretation by indubviduals and committee's.
I was wondering...what un-written rules have y'all come across ? The rules that have gotten you or others in trouble? Including all the "Grey Rules," that are open to interpretation by indubviduals and Committee's.
The serious, the funny and the seriously stupid...!
Come on down...
I have one: Can/should indubviduals start collectively start 'shunning' even if there is no 'Official' action ?
Example: I recently remarried -- to a non-witness, after an unscriptural divorce was forced legally upon me. I was not DF or DA. I was just inactive. So far, I haven't been contacted by any Elders. I have been told I was knowingly doing wrong by re-marrying -- NOT IN THE LORD. This was from my siblings who proceeded to tell all my relatives, the bad evil thing I was planning and was informed they would have nothing to do with my civil wedding. They now have avoided me like the plague for several months since my blissful wedding. Not - one - single - word...!
So, is this a 'written or unwritten' grey rule...?
Anybody know? Tell me some of your weird ones...
here's another subject i find ironic and interesting.
i know of an elder who is an gynocologist.
and he is in good standing with the organization and a well respected man.. a long time ago, out of curiosity, i asked a co once; if we 'strictly' go by the wt, and if we are looking at this 'objectively', openly and 'technically', and go by what the society says about touching another person in this way, isn't this elder committing pornea every day?
Puternut:
I don't exmamine with my hands my subjects and models between the legs. Because out fear to be disfelowshipped of committing pornea. So, than I am of the hook as far as being an artist is concerned? He looked at me in disbelief and asked me if I was a trouble maker. No of course not, I am just trying to make a point.
Yeah, that's what you are...a no-good trouble maker !
I don't think 'puternut' really believes what the Doctor was doing was pornea. I don't think he was trying to insult all the fine nurses, caretakers, moms, dads, EMS personnel or anyone who has to 'touch' someone's privates in order to take care of them.
I DO think he was trying to show how technically black & white some rules can be written. So which are we supposed to obey...the letter of the Law...or the spirit of it ??
When an strict organization with absolute power to crush you in they're JaWs have a LAW that is too broad and not clear...they can do a lot of damage within the 'grey area' of interpretation. Remember, the un-written "Grey Book of Un-Official JW Rules" that's the one most of us who have been JW's for a while have all studied a lot.
Our common sense tells us the difference between care and pornea. But, if the WT says, 'a person commits a sin by touching someone's genitals, that is not their spouse,' there is obviously a LOT of grey area. After all -- you're not supposed to even LOOK upon the nakedness of some people. That is the Law of the Bible and the WT...
Here's another, I'm a photographer (no degree) so, if I wanted to express my artistry and take pictures of nudes (remember, tits & a$$, but, not titillating ! I like that word, too) is that OK for the Elders...? What if it's my profession...? And respectful...? OR what if it wasn't my profession, I just liked drawing or taking pictures of nudes...? OR just looking, if I didn't have the talent of the artist ?
Perhaps the Elders would come to understand, if they could just 'study' the art for a while -- privately.
I understand your point, puternut.
how would a jw put in order of importance, priority, loyalty
would the list on paper be different than that actually practiced?
jehovah
2 EscapedLifers said:
There is an unwritten rulebook of a thousand pages of dos and don'ts.
This is the shortest BEST explaination of the hardest thing to deal with being a JW I've ever read...!
Blondie, too in another thread talked about the Official & Un-Official rules -- either way they have you -- Catch-22.
Justice may happen, but, is random at best.
on the night before my wedding, my mom came into my room with the talk.
she said she knew i probably knew all about the wedding night, but did i have any questions?
she then told me to remember one thing tho...that you aren't to touch it.
Joysome:
Most of this comes from the horses's mouth. Yes, other religions have stupid rules for married people, too, However, this forum pretty much focuses on the JW slant on things.
On my Wedding Eve -- for your consideration:
My bride to be, says HER parents want to talk to us. OK. We sit down before the Elder & his fanatic wife. She does most of the talking, he acts like he would rather be -- drilling holes in his head, etc. ...
SHE starts the talk: WE just wanted to talk to you two about what Jah & his organ, er, society expects from you concerning SEXUAL RELATIONS !!! In order to keep your marriage bed clean and undefiled...
Me & bride: ah, ah, ah, O - KAY...
We very both 24 y/o real virgins. We really did not know all the fun, ummmm, bad things we might do. We were also very, RED and looking at our feet, as that is allowable.
She & He: Jah condemns any kind of unnatural actions, even between married couples, such as Anal Intercourse, *gasp* Oral Intercourse, *gasp* i.e. ANY Oral - Gentital contact was B-A-D, (*damn, gasp* I had heard good reports of these things..!) The missionary position was described as the very best recommended as 'acceptable' by Jah's org. !
ME & bride: Very, very red.
THEM: It was very, very B-A-D to perform ANY type of mutual or self-masterbation. (*damn*gasp*well...is there anything left we can do...? I was asking myself...*)
Us: Very red with purple tinges...
THEM: It does say...(pulls out a bible)" that a husband COULD always be intoxicated by the breasts of his wife."( Finally, something we could do...although...intoxicated? I was a virgin (really) but, this sounded like something I should check out.) (I scribbled out a note with a check mark. lol)
THEM: And of course, kissing was OK, as along as it was not on the genitals...UNDERSTAND...?
US: uh-huh...yes...(damn)
THEM: So, as long as you keep your marriage bed clean and undefiled -- your marriage will be blessed by Jehovah and his congregation.
ME: But, but what about all those neat positions I saw in the serious sex-help books, I mean, they looked like fun...?
THEM: You two, we both love ya'. See ya' tomorrow...
ME -- later, whew! Bride -- I know I'm sorry, I did not know they were going to talk about that...
ME: O-K
THIS REALLY HAPPENED ! I did not make this up...!
So, they don't get-in-to-your-bedroom...?
i have been df for a nummber of years now and have recently been doing research via the web for the past few weeks.
mostly because my new husband has been also doing his own research because i have been saying for years i want to go back, but never have and he had questions about the religion that he didnt understand.
the only time i ever go to the hall is for the memorial.
Mouthy sez: With the spunk she always shows...
Joker !!! Your nose is growing ( just like PInocchio's did every time he lied.) I beg to differ with you I LOVE Jehovahs Witnesses.. LOVE them UNconditional
And I cheer her on...
Hate is a VERY powerful word. Joker sez that the people here HATE JW's. There may be some (their choice) that do, but, that has not been my experience. Most of the people here, including me, have lots of Love for all our relatives, friends and our dear families that are JW's. Sometimes, it seems we may have more actual Love than they do. WE can accept what THEY want to believe, they will not afford us the same freedom and respect.
I don't think anyone here believes in the un-christian JW style of breaking apart families, thru disfellowshipping and then shunning them.
I don't think anyone here is afraid to speak their mind's beliefs... we are not afraid of being shunned by one another. like active JW's are. They have to be...they have a lot to lose.
My own opinion is, I don't hate Witnesses...I am sad for them, being controlled the way they are...how many of them are only going to meetings, in a haze of robotic motions...feeling hypocritical (like I did) ? And yet, they continue to go thru these false motions, ONLY to preserve the love and family connections that are so important to being human...?
The WTS to me is a parallel to the 'stiff-necked' Jewish of the Old Testament, they make up their own miniscule, rigid, nit-picking rules, then apply them unevenly to an already confused and scared mass of people. THAT is not LOVE.
Look around carefully...when I was told about this discussion board by an X-JW, he said, "It's a good place to start... you will find yourself replulsed by some and feel drawn immediately to others." He was right -- he's been here a long time and is well known.
Here is where the QUESTIONS are brought up...finally!
Glad ya' found this place...
Lee
.
lol.
ok here goes.... how old were you your first time?
Euph, No, I did not LOOK at Smylars profile, I mentioned that I did not know his age. You made it sound as though him being the same age or younger makes some difference on the 'Statutory Rape' charges -- it does NOT! One or both of the parents can choose to have these charges filed...it happens more than you know...!
I said:
a) You are 'JAIL BAIT', I know parents who've turned in the boyfriend & girlfriend to the cops --they were charged with 'Statutory Rape'. Depending on how old Smylar is he could go to jail and forever -- have a Felony sex charge on his record! ( You are under 16 !)
I think this young couple asked the right questions and whatever they choose to do will have an impact of some kind. If they decide to go thru with sex now, I truly hope things turn out well, it does for many. However, when it turns out bad, it can be very bad -- life changing. Kids are forced to grow up too fast and end up missing out on their later teen years -- taking care of babies, while they are trying to finish maturing.
I saw this happen to MY daughter and she was 2 years older...than these mid-teens. I have seen the damage it did to her. I have to stand behind what I said...
Guys...I hope you have found your soul-mates and will be happy and together always...nothing is better.
Remember the old adage, "Look before you leap."
It was written by one of us 'old' farts who obviously learned by personal leaping experience, rather than letting someone else try it and learn from THEIR mis-step. Be Careful...
Love ya', Lee
