Posts by 4JWY

Please, you are so young - JUMP in that sea and enjoy the beauty of life all around you. Get your education, grow, expand your interests, experience relationships.

Although I was that JW girl once, and hooked the worldly guy, got him to convert, raised kids in the cult together, it took us 25 years to come to our senses and do the release together back into the sea of a real life.

I might add - I had dated other 'worldly' guys, all hidden from friends/family which is very stressful. Some were lengthly relationships - in all cases, the guy's, like you, were agonizing over what to do when they realized the difficulties that would ensue if we continued on, and we'd break up. JW's are just in another place, it's a way of life, not a religion. To this day, as friends, I am in touch with a couple of these past flames, and were they surprised to hear that after 30 years, I am now out and free to be me.

Good Luck in making a decision.

16

Honoring Last Wishes - JW Death

by 4JWY in

jw
friends

i have a dear, long time friend who left the org along with her spouse and teens, about three years ago.

last week, her father, who had always been a sort of jw, died.

he left his final wishes in writing that he did not want a "memorial service" upon his death.. her brother, who is an elder, has convinced her that they will be having one anyway - of course at the kh.

4JWY

Yes, madame's idea was pretty good. If I wasn't clear across the country from my friend and this situation, I would be inclined to follow through with it myself.

At my own jw mother's memorial, the PO was reading the list of the survivor's names, all of us who were seated directly in front of him. Everyone was acknowledged BUT the one 'worldly' relative present, my mom's sister. With much difficulty, I'd located her while she was on a cruise ship up in Alaska to inform her of mom's death, and she left her vacation to come to this KHell occasion.

I was fuming that he had conveniently omitted her, so after "Life Without End", I stepped up on the stage and informed him of his 'oversight'. The crowd was already dispersing and he had to step back to the microphone and inform everyone who the lady with the family was, my mom's sister! My aunt has never gotton over it - and I would say that memorial was a 'witness' that backfired.

Thanks again everyone for reminding me that I am sane in my now xdub thinking (imagine that - thinking!) on this subject of last wishes.

4JWY

13

Door Sign keeps JW's away

by Wordly Andre in

jw
friends

my door sign actually keeps jws away!!

this past weekend while doing some house work i looked out of my front window because i saw shadows, i walked to the kitchen and looked out my side window, only to see two young brothers walking away.

one was about 19 and the other looked to be 14, i kind of wish they had actually knocked, im always prepared for them.

4JWY

Ours reads:

Solicitors:

I do not ring your doorbell and impose my product or faith on you. Please show me the same courtesy.

Thank you.

(It is the only one that has stopped them short of ringing. The No Trespassing one with an artistic graphic of a video camera staring at them did not work.)

13

Yeah, so I go to the meeting the other day

by JamieL in

jw
friends

so i live in indiana, and we got a lot of snow the other day.

so i come home from work and it is really pretty bad out, but i've lived in indiana a long time and i've driven in snow and it's not hard you just need to be careful.

so i go to the meeting (yeah i'm dfd i told all you guys this).

4JWY

"maybe I should just walk up to one of these punk kids and tell them to get real and be who they really are"

Jamie,

I think you should make this your mission and be sure to live by your own words too.

Don't waste any more time - I was raised in the box and wasted 42 years of my life in there, until finally listening to my own teenage son who was attempting to be real.

Life is a joy, the present is a gift - live it.

4JWY

16

Honoring Last Wishes - JW Death

by 4JWY in

jw
friends

i have a dear, long time friend who left the org along with her spouse and teens, about three years ago.

last week, her father, who had always been a sort of jw, died.

he left his final wishes in writing that he did not want a "memorial service" upon his death.. her brother, who is an elder, has convinced her that they will be having one anyway - of course at the kh.

4JWY

That is how abusive people get their way, one of their methods at least. They make the people around them afraid to upset them. And we enable them by not speaking our minds, and not taking any stand out of fear of 'upsetting them'. Let them get upset, maybe they'll get tired of it eventually.

Exactly Hortensia. I shared some of my very strong feelings similar to this in an email to her, along with this quote I have posted on my fridge:

"Never for the sake of peace and quiet, deny your own experience or convictions."

She sees herself as non-confrontational, the result of being raised to be 'Sarah-like', so she struggles with this in many areas. I hope one day she will be able to move beyond that.

16

Honoring Last Wishes - JW Death

by 4JWY in

jw
friends

i have a dear, long time friend who left the org along with her spouse and teens, about three years ago.

last week, her father, who had always been a sort of jw, died.

he left his final wishes in writing that he did not want a "memorial service" upon his death.. her brother, who is an elder, has convinced her that they will be having one anyway - of course at the kh.

4JWY

I'm enjoying all your thoughts, thank you.

We know it is 'all about appearances" so the elder is waiting to put on his show. If he was so concerned about what people would think, if one wasn't held, couldn't he have announced that "the deceased requested that no memorial be held." ? I know I have heard that stated before from the platform when the death was being announced.

16

Honoring Last Wishes - JW Death

by 4JWY in

jw
friends

i have a dear, long time friend who left the org along with her spouse and teens, about three years ago.

last week, her father, who had always been a sort of jw, died.

he left his final wishes in writing that he did not want a "memorial service" upon his death.. her brother, who is an elder, has convinced her that they will be having one anyway - of course at the kh.

4JWY

I have a dear, long time friend who left the org along with her spouse and teens, about three years ago. Last week, her father, who had always been a sort of JW, died. He left his final wishes in writing that he did not want a "memorial service" upon his death.

Her brother, who is an elder, has convinced her that they will be having one anyway - of course at the KH.

She stated her thoughts to her brother about the disrespect she felt this would show to their father and his wishes. But it mattered not to him, as this was an opportunity for 'a witness' (cult sale's pitch)

I personally am appalled that the dead man's wishes will not be honored. My friend is just going to go along with it, rather than upset her brother. (?)

I'd really like to hear any of your thoughts on this. How important do you think it is to honor last wishes?

37

Suicide is a VERY bad thing.....

by lonelysheep in

that is the conclusion i've come to.

up until then, and because of my own depressed feelings, i have felt differently.

this changed for me last night, though.

4JWY

Suicide is a VERY bad thing

Suicide may make those left behind, feel badly, but one often knows not the real depth of what brought a person to this end. A choice made independently of others, is what freedom personifies and coming to accept that choice, I see as ultimately showing love to the dear one's memory. You will feel the painful void, yet find you grow from this experience of loss and carry on with more strength in your determination to live your own life to the full.

An elder told my father that suicide is a "stench before jehovah" just days before my father took this route. Shame on him - The scrawled suicide note left behind stated that "only jehovah and jesus will do the judging".

My heart goes out to you and others affected by such loss.

21

My Ex is suicidal, apparently

by dmouse in

jw
friends

some of you might remember my story from years ago - how i became an 'apostate' which effectively ended my marriage of 20 years.

how my wife subjected me to intense psychological abuse when i left 'the truth'.. my son ben, whom i love deeply, left when he was dragged into the back room and told he was being used by satan to corrupt the congregation (he was only15) because he was gay.. my dearest middle daughter charlotte, who has more common sense than all of us put together, 'left' on her 14th birthday.

she was dragged out of the house in her bare feet to be taken to the meeting, and because i intervened i spent the next year on a camp bed in the front room.. in the end, i could not stand the abuse and left.

4JWY

((dmouse, Chloe, & ex))

Strong emotions evoked all because a young person is using their own brain and making a choice of free will. What your ex is feeling, is exactly what I never wanted to experience since it just seemed so wrong to me. To think that we, as dubs, should demand that our offspring follow the same spiritual path that we were on. I was only on it because it was passed down to me, and I didn't have the strength and courage that your Chloe has, to go my own way.

Before walking away from the org, now, as a parent, I was sitting at meetings telling myself over and over that it was absurd to think that any god, would expect that a parent should feel total devastation if their children did not follow the plan. I was getting more and more disgusted with the idea that it was my job to MOLD these beautiful young adults of mine to follow only one way - and to try to force them to NOT become their own individual. It is a sick cult that makes a parent go this route.

In the end, the child who was determined to be himself, brought my husband and I around full circle in our thinking, and today we are all experiencing true freedom to be who we are. I will hope for such a positive outcome with your family too.

4JWY