nb-dfed

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Posts by nb-dfed

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  2

  when an i no longer a newbie

  by nb-dfed in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i'm a newbie, and i was just wondering how one attains the different ranks on this website, such as "jedi master".

  just curious.

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  nb-dfed

  I'm a newbie, and I was just wondering how one attains the different ranks on this website, such as "jedi master". Just curious.
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  G'Mo's Poll#1-Are xjws more likely to have been "devout" than current jws?

  by Glenmore in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  my theory is that a lot of us were really into the culture.

  in our hey day jill (my wife) and i had two keys to the kh.

  she pioneered, i was an ms and aux pio'd.

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  nb-dfed

  My husband and I were Super-Witnesses. We both were pioneers, went to pioneer school. We were often assigned parts at the meeting. I even had two parts at the assemblies. We studied for all the meetings. Very devout.
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  12

  How a JW treats a friend

  by Sirius Dogma in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i have been thinking lately how being raised a jw taught me to be a terrible friend.. to a jw friendship is completely conditional.

  if you don't share the same beliefs as me, you cannot be my friend.

  if you offend my conscience, you cannot be my friend.

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  nb-dfed

  After leaving the "truth", I learned that most of my friendships in the congregation were just a sham. Nobody was there for me when my life fell apart. All they could see was that I wasn't attending meetings, and therefore I wasn't good enough to associate with. I was, however, a good topic for gossip in the congregation. I have heard so many outrageous rumors that my so-called friends have beein passing around. I also realized that being a witness seriously handicapped me when it came time to make friends in the real world. All through school I avoided friendships with worldly people because..."BAD ASSOCIATIONS SPOIL USEFUL HABITS"!! (Who among us has not had that drilled into their brains?) Even if I could be friends with them at school, my parents most certainly would not allow me to have them over or talk to them on the phone. So, when I left, I felt like this huge dysfunctional mess that could not carry on a normal conversation with a regular person. I feel that growing up as a witness seriously screwed me over as far as making friendships and maintaining them. Okay, I'm done ranting now. Thanks for listening. Hang in there everyone!!
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  20

  The fall out of shunning

  by unbeliever in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  my mom has shunned my df'd sister for 10+ years.

  my brothers and i are not baptised and she will have a relationship with us even though its very strained.

  we have gotten together a few times over the years and had a meal together that mom cooked.

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  nb-dfed

  I know this must be very difficult for you. I am df'ed and shunned by my parents and brother. My little sister (who still lives at home) and I have a "secret" relationship. Any communication we have is sneaky. This whole shunning thing is ridiculously painful. I know you are in a difficult position, but I feel that to choosing your sister is the right choice. Your mother has a choice to associate with all of her children or not. Hopefully she will make the right one... Hang in there.
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  69

  Newbies to screwbies, At what stag of recovery are you?

  by jst2laws in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  at what stage of recovery are you?

  are you angry?

  are you depressed?

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  nb-dfed

  I can answer yes to all the questions, except the one about finding a new true religion. I was (and still am sometimes) horribly angry. I was depressed. I didn't know where to turn. I felt very lost and very guilty for such a long time. I was angry because I was raised in this religion, and anything other then being a witness was not an option. I was angry because when I finally opened my eyes and realized I could make my own decisions about my beliefs, I was made to feel like an outcast and a horrible person. I was depressed because everthing that I believed in with all my heart was a farce. I felt guilty because I thought all my thoughts and all my questions were betraying God. I am, however, past all that. I can truly say that I finally feel balanced and happy. I don't feel lost anymore. I don't hate God anymore. I feel alive and enlightened, and grateful for it all!!
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  36

  how does everyone else cope with being shunned by family?

  by nb-dfed in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  i am a newbie to the site.

  i was born an raised a jw.

  shortly after marriage, my husband and i decided we no longer wanted to be part of the organization.

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  nb-dfed

  You are definitely right. After consideration, I knew it would be against all my morals and values to get reinstated just to see my fam. I would feel hypocritical, and I just can't live with that on my conscience. It's getting easier daily and I know I will be okay, with or without 'em.
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  36

  how does everyone else cope with being shunned by family?

  by nb-dfed in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  i am a newbie to the site.

  i was born an raised a jw.

  shortly after marriage, my husband and i decided we no longer wanted to be part of the organization.

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  nb-dfed

  I really appreciate everyone's posts. It's just comforting to know that there are others out there who understand what I am going through. Co-workers and friends look at me like I'm crazy when I explain that my family will not talk to me b/c I am no longer a member of their religion. It hurts less and less as time goes on, and I know I will be okay. One good thing to come out of all this is that my 16 year old sister (who still lives at home) has contacted me and we are rebuilding our relationship. It's hard to have to have a secret relationship with my own sister, but at least she knows I'm here to help her should she ever make the decision to leave. Thanks again for all you kind words and thoughts!!
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  51

  I been shunned by a Baptist,

  by jst2laws in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  just moments ago i was on the back deck looking at the stars and a renter next door came out to do the same.

  i said hello and we talked about where we were from and where we are at, spiritually.

  after a few clues the neighbor asked if i had accepted jesus as my personal savior.

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  nb-dfed

  JST, It's refreshing to hear that someone feels the same way, that the path to god is between oneself and god. I don't believe there is only one route, how could there be with all the diversity of mankind? Many belong to certain religion simply because of geography or circumstance, not due to faith. I think that is true of many of us here. It's sad that people of all relgions feel the necessity to push there beliefs so hard that there is no room for anything else. I think however you connect with god is the right way, and no one can convince me otherwise! -nb
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  36

  how does everyone else cope with being shunned by family?

  by nb-dfed in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  i am a newbie to the site.

  i was born an raised a jw.

  shortly after marriage, my husband and i decided we no longer wanted to be part of the organization.

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  nb-dfed

  Well, they were going to df us because they had two witnesses against us. They don't need any reason if two people have made statements against you. I just went in to try and prevent it, but it didn't work. I stormed out though after they made their decision, so that doesn't bode well. I've thought about going back just to be reinstated and then stop going, but my family would be on my case. "Why aren't you at meetings?" or "Why don't you go out in service, you used to be a pioneer?" I would never get any peace. I just don't understand how one can believe that a loving god would want you to have nothing to do with your own family! Enough ranting on my part. Thanks for listening.
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  36

  how does everyone else cope with being shunned by family?

  by nb-dfed in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  i am a newbie to the site.

  i was born an raised a jw.

  shortly after marriage, my husband and i decided we no longer wanted to be part of the organization.

  1. 
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  nb-dfed

  I am a newbie to the site. I was born an raised a jw. Shortly after marriage, my husband and I decided we no longer wanted to be part of the organization. We pulled away and kept to ourselves, without trying to mislead anyone or be bad influences. The elders eventually tracked us down and told us we would be disfellowshipped if we didn't meet with them. I chose to meet with them simply so that I would not be disfellowshipped and still allowed to talk to my family. I was disfellowshipped by a judicial commitee. They made the decision in less then five minutes. That was nearly two years ago. I have found happiness and peace with myself, my spirituality and god. The thing I still have trouble with is that I cannot share the simple joys of life with my brother, sister and parents. They weren't there when I bought my first new car and my first house. They won't be there when their grandchildren are born. I know they still cling to the hope that one day I will come to my senses and return to the organization. I just want to know how some of you out there cope with this sadness. Thanks!