Posts by mamochan13

66

Question... Do JWs shun Family?

by Sassy in

i had a disagreement with xq in chat today, because he was trying to say that jws for the most part disobey the wts and still treat family like family even if they are dfd or quit being witnesses.. i don't feel that is true.

i think that the majority of us on here who no longer are jws have family members who no longer have anything to do with us and shun us.... so i said it would be interesting to take a poll and see how many here are treated just like all the rest of your 'loving family' who is a jw still.......are you treated the same?.

does family shun you for being df'd, da'd or no longer participating?or do they hide and talk to you but only when other active jws can't see?

mamochan13

"Do any of you think that growing up with conditonal love from pretty much everyone affected you as a adult? I have been pondering this question as of late."

sorry about that last partial post. Iforget, you have hit it exactly. Thank you for putting in words what I've always felt. I remember wishing someone loved me unconditionally when I was going through df hell.

I'm with Sassy on this one, although there are a few JW's who don't obey the rules - most families participate actively in shunning. During the year I was df'd, only my mother and my aunt would have anything to do with me, and it was limited. As strange as it sounds, I was playing in a band with my brother & sister at the time, and because they needed the job, we kept going. But they would only interact with me during actual performances. During breaks I sat by myself, and if I dared to join a table where either of them were sitting, they would get up and leave. Groups of JW's would come to hear us, and they would act like I was invisible. We all traveled to a resort to play a gig with kids & all, and was not even allowed to cross the threshold of their hotel door, even though my children were inside. I was shunned publicly and privately.

Once I left on my own and drifted away, they didn't actively shun me. But I'm pretty much excluded from most family things (although I choose not to associate even if asked). I'm an outsider.

66

Question... Do JWs shun Family?

by Sassy in

i had a disagreement with xq in chat today, because he was trying to say that jws for the most part disobey the wts and still treat family like family even if they are dfd or quit being witnesses.. i don't feel that is true.

i think that the majority of us on here who no longer are jws have family members who no longer have anything to do with us and shun us.... so i said it would be interesting to take a poll and see how many here are treated just like all the rest of your 'loving family' who is a jw still.......are you treated the same?.

does family shun you for being df'd, da'd or no longer participating?or do they hide and talk to you but only when other active jws can't see?

mamochan13

Do any of you think that growing up with conditonal love from pretty much everyone affected you as a adult? I have been pondering this question as of late.

16

Why my view of the witnesses changed

by nevergotwet in

as i explained in my first thread i left when i was 18, but first started doubting at the age of 11, after a specific incident.

i'd like to tell that story now.

sorry if it seems long-winded, but i've only just been dealing with this one, and i've been carrying it round for 20 years.

mamochan13

reminds me of something that happened years ago at an assembly. On the pioneer session they had invited several up to give their accounts of how wonderful the auxiliary/temporary pioneer experience had been. one elderly sister was interviewed. She talked about how she had made arrangements to take a month to pioneer, etc. When asked what that month was like...she replied, honestly, "it was awful! I was so lonely. I asked people to go out with me and no one would. It was so hard to go out in service every day by myself. I never felt so lonely or isolated". You could hear a collective gasp from the audience and everyone shifted uncomfortably in their seats. How dare this person get up there and tell the truth about how awful her pioneer experience was!!

I wanted to go up and hug this poor sister afterwards. But I knew she was telling the truth. One of the things that bothered me the most was the hierarchy. If you were part of the "in" crowd, you had plenty of support. If you were not, then "go be a witness by yourself". Elders, Elders' kids, elders wives, they had it all. Those of us who had no father in the religion, those who were single and alone - different story.

5

Do you remember,,,

by kls in

the thread about lucky charms brought back a memory along time ago that jws where not to buy anything from procter& gambel because of satanic images in their products.

does anyone remember this ?

i am talking about almost 20 years that i heard this .

mamochan13

yep. I remember going through our cupboards looking for the satanic symbol on things that P&G made...i also remember the feeling of horror that we had innocently been using these products not knowint they were tools of the devil. sheesh.

27

How Many JWs or ExJWs Have Some Type of Mental Problems?

by minimus in

jw
friends

do you think they are more succeptible to illness than others?

?

mamochan13

I agree that the rate of mental illness is likely very high, but I don't think JW's have cornered the market in that regard. Any religion that is highly controlling and cult-like will have repercussions on people who may already be prone to mental illness. From research I've done at university, there is a strong correlation between religion and mental illness, period.

that said, JW's DO create mental illness as GaryB & others have pointed out. Depression is a big one - DF'ing in particular causes incredible negative emotional stress, and negative emotional stress is a known trigger for depressive illness.

What is also problematic is that JW's do not support going outside the religion for counselling or psychotherapy. After I was DF'd and reinstated I went into a severe depression and sought help from a psychiatrist, then later a psychologist. My JW family told me that I had greived the holy spirit and blasphemed against Jehovah because I had told my therapist all the things the JW's had done to me and thus brought "reproach upon the organization." My psychiatrist was so angry with JW's that when my brother called him to try and get him to reveal confidential information about our sessions, that he told my brother off.

anyway, sorry for going off on a personal tangent...I get REALLY worked up and irate when I think about all this stuff. Bottom line, I do not believe JW"s accept mental illness as real - I think they are part of the "snap out of it" mentality. Everything can be fixed by going to the elders, or by attending meetings regularly, or by going out in service. That attitude just makes things so much worse.

I read in a WT or Awake recently (they persist in leaving these things at my door) something about suicide and whether this merits a KH funeral. I threw the article away, and now I wish I had it, because it said something that really minimized mental illness. What I got out of it was that most people who are in deep despair and take their own lives cannot have a witness funeral, since only a few are "really" mentally ill.

19

...they neither marry, nor are given in marriage...

by Tashawaa in

one of the hardest doctrines of the witnesses that i couldn't wrap my little brain around, was the teaching that the resurrected would not marry.. i remember one assembly, a whole talk was spent on the resurrection, and emphasis was placed on the fact that they would not marry.

the couple sitting in front of me (obviously a happy couple, 'cause this distressed them) whispered how they just couldn't believe it.. here's the scripture they use to back their doctrine:.

matt 22:22-33 specifically vs 30 "for in the resurrection they neither marry, nor are given in marriage, but are as angels in heaven...".

mamochan13

Tashawaa - thanks for bringing this up. I had forgotten about that teaching, but your post brought it all back. It used to really bug me too, and I questioned everyone about it. How is it possible that a god of love would torment people by resurrecting them to meet up with their loved spouses, yet not be able to be with them in the bonds of matrimony anymore?

I tried to puzzle out why they even concocted the notion. I think it had to do with trying to answer someone who asked a "questions from the readers" about what would happen if someone was married twice and then got resurrected and had to choose.

24

CNN , Headline News , and 1914 , hhhhhhhhhhhmmmmmmmmmmmm !!!!!!!!!!

by run dont walk in

saw a great little piece on headline news or cnn the other night, they showed a memorial celebration of the 90th year of world war one.

now think about this, how many veterans do you think attended from world war one ???????.

the one veteran who layed down a wreath, was 108, and he talked a little, the best he could, and thanking his fellow war heroes.. this piece really hit home with me, because, didn't the watchtower once say, the generation of 1914 will not pass away, remember the early teaching, "they would have to be able to understand the things going on", "first started with 15 years olds, then ten year old, then can't be babies born, then can be babies born.

mamochan13

I have to share a story my grandfather told me. He's 99, and came to Canada from England during WW1 at the age of 12 or so. A few years ago he wrote his experiences into a book - and its an amazing document.

While still in England, he had a friend who was a member of the "Russellites". His friend told him that the world was going to end very soon according to prophecy. the friend attended meetings where he learned that god was going to kill millions of people. My grandfather said they put up big signs at their meeting hall, saying "millions now living will never die". In a little while, another sign went up saying that only thirty days of life on earth remained. Each day they changed the number of days on the sign, counting down. When only a couple of days remained, my grandfather's friend and his family, along with all the other Russellites, went out to a big area outside of town, where they had set up tents, and everyone settled in, bringing nothing but some food and blankets, to pray and wait for the heavenly chariots to come and take them up to heaven.

On the final day, my grandfather and some of his friends went out to visit the camp to see what was happening. He says they were curious and wanted to see these fiery chariots that were coming down from heaven. the weather got worse, cold and rainy, but the Russellites were still there, waiting. My grandfather stayed all day, getting soaked in the rain, but no chariots arrived. He then got punished for coming home late. The next morning my grandfather's friend arrived at his door, wet and miserable, to announce that he and his family were moving away. My grandfather says he heard nothing more of the Russellites after that (until, ironically, his son married into a family of JW's). In his book, he points out, with humour, that the exact spot where the Russellites were waiting has now been turned into Heathrow Airport - and now huge chariots (747's) take passengers up to the sky...to heavenly locations like Hawaii!

After my grandfather wrote that book & my mother and JW family read this piece, they were extremely angry at him and really began to dislike the man. guess it hurts to have your foolishness exposed! For my part, I thought it was really neat to hear the story from the viewpoint of someone who actually saw what JW's did in 1914.

I remember how great the emphasis was on the "generation not passing away" being proof that the end was imminent, and I find it amazing that they try to wiggle out of it now. Just one more proof that we are right in staying far away from the lies and hypocrisy (as if we needed it).

35

Anyone know of a Doctor, Lawyer or other "Professional" who is JW?

by wordlywife in

jw
friends

i was just wondering.

since college was (still is?

) discouraged, have any of you known persons of higher education to be in the organization, either by completing it while in or became jw afterwards?

mamochan13

well....the only ones I knew were doctors, lawyers or other professionals who just happened to become JW's long after they had achieved their degrees. Those of us brought up in the religion were not allowed to go to university...

now that I'm in university I understand why...geez. We learn so much - science is not anything like what JW's teach us. All lies.

I now don't have any respect for doctors, lawyers, etc. who continue to profess an allegiance to JW's. You cannot pretend to believe their propaganda while pursuing higher education.

they do their best to quash intelligent inquiry.

there are so many incredibly intelligent people among the JW's, but we are taught to stifle our knowledge.

24

do you ever?????

by Lehaa in

do you ever get used to bumping into witnesses that you know.. i still go out in with the thought of it tin the back of my mind.

i hate the death stares i get.

i feel like walking uo to them and saying "i'm not the devil or a murderer, just no longer a witness".

mamochan13

It isn't so much that you "get used to it", Lehaa. It ceases to matter. When I was df'd, the pain of encountering another witness was intolerable. I felt like scum, knowing that they considered me worthless (and yet that wasn't always the case with individual JW's).

I remember once, when I was still a teenager, a good friend was df'd. She worked at the music college where I went for lessons. One night she was the only person on staff when I had to pay, and she came up to me, eyes downcast, apologetic, and said, "I'm sorry, Debbie, I'm the only person here, I have to serve you". I felt this horrible sick feeling of doing something wrong, a sin against god because I was talking to someone I was not allowed to talk to. We concluded our transaction and I said not a word to her, because that was the "right thing" to do. She moved away soon after and I never saw her again. When the tables were turned and I was the one who was df'd, I often thought about my friend. I wished I had known how it felt, known how to be kind to her, not to turn away from her. I felt sick then, but I feel even sicker now, knowing how wrong it was for me to feel as I did.

We are the better persons, Lehaa. We are the ones who are not rejecting people simply because they make mistakes. So we should not have to feel any pain or shame when we encounter those who choose to still remain in slavery.

It doesn't go away, but it does get easier. Its all in how we percieve it.

37

Do you have anger issues because of mistreatment by JW's?

by LyinEyes in

i have been reading the thead on jw suicide the last two days and i have to admit, i am boiling mad, angry, and literally have thoughts of wanting to put my hands around some of the jw's who have abused so many......lol!!!!!!!

i realize this is not at all funny, but i do laugh at how i let this get to me to the point of fantazing of slapping some of the "higher than thou" jw's i have ran across in my life and those whom some of you decribed.

i read scully's story and wanted to choak the ones who did not pass her the emblems at the memorial.. i get so mad when i read how some of the jw's want to pass judgement on the one's who have committed suicide , saying they will not be resurrected.

mamochan13

I don't believe individuals can absolve themselves from all responsibility by simply claiming that they were told to behave a certain way by some "higher authority". People cannot claim to have loyalty to the organization and at the same time divorce themselves from its methods. They have brains. Those who have any common sense, integrity, and conscience eventually leave once they see the cult for what it is.

Walter is right.