mamochan13

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Posts by mamochan13

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  70

  Getting Back In (yes, its for family) What do I Say on 3rd Try?

  by Meadow36 in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  in my last meeting to be re-instated they said for next time figure out which person from the bible i'm most like.

  and be ready to tell them what i pray about and how i feel about what i did to jehovah.

  being honest , speaking from the heart about jesus forgiving peter and having a hard time answering the prayer question didn't work getting hysterical and nervous-breakdownish at the end didn't help, nor did running out of the hall after saying i could never do any better.

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  mamochan13

  Quendi - I hear you and I think you have a valid point. But there is another perspective. If you choose to leave after being reinstated, then it is at least your choice. Yes, it's horrible to subject youirself to the process, and I can't imagine how you did it for 5 years. In my experience I lost my family and friends anyway by fading, but at least they do not feel forced to shun me by decree. It meant a lot to me to be able to have a relationship again with my mother for the short time before she died, something I would not have been able to do had I not gone through the reinstatement process. So I do understand why Meadow (and Loading) are putting themselves through this.

  I do second your concern for doing "what is best for you" though. Many people self-medicate with alcohol, and sobriety can be a challenge when you do not love yourself, in other words, have possession of your soul. Dealing with elders and living their reality can very quickly tear down your sense of self, so I strongly encourage you, Meadow, to take care of yourself first and foremost in every way you can.
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  68

  Cedars...I took you up on the song challenge....

  by diana netherton in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  billions and billions of corpses,.

  each one deserved to die.. billions there are on billions, .

  billions and billions of dead ones,.

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  mamochan13

  Impressive, Diana. I love it.
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  70

  Getting Back In (yes, its for family) What do I Say on 3rd Try?

  by Meadow36 in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  in my last meeting to be re-instated they said for next time figure out which person from the bible i'm most like.

  and be ready to tell them what i pray about and how i feel about what i did to jehovah.

  being honest , speaking from the heart about jesus forgiving peter and having a hard time answering the prayer question didn't work getting hysterical and nervous-breakdownish at the end didn't help, nor did running out of the hall after saying i could never do any better.

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  mamochan13

  Some excellent advice here. I concur with the advice about AA - do not tell the elders about it. They view AA as if it were a false religion. But don't give up on getting help from your AA sponsor. I know you probably feel like you are "bringing reproach" when you tell your sponsor what the elders are doing to you, and it's horrible to be put in the position where you feel like you must defend them. I felt that way at first until I finally accepted that what the elders were doing WAS wrong and indefensible.

  A hotel manager friend asked me if JWs had a reputation for being heavy drinkers, since all the hotels in the town he worked used to increase their liquor order during convention week. If they DFd you because you went to them for help with alcohol, that's the ultimate hypocrisy.

  Keep up the good work, though, and don't be afraid to get all the "wordly" help you can find. Try other options besides AA, too. It's important to get at the root cause of drinking. Regardless of what happens at your meeting, don't give up trying to straighten your life out.

  Continue to be strong and don't give up. They are just three men following made-up rules. If they refuse your request, politely ask what you can do to improve your chances next month. And then ask again next month.
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  51

  What's The Worst Thing About Being A Jehovah's Witness?

  by minimus in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  for me, i think it's that the witnesses teach they are god's spokesman.

  they represent his "faithful & discreet slave"....and that they alone are expounders of the only truth and that if you disagree with anything they teach, you are considered worse than vomit.. it's unbelievable because these people are wrong so many times, it cannot be excused!.

  as a witness, you must accept every viewpoint and if you (and your family) do not accept it all, hook, line and sinker, you are "apostates"!!!.

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  mamochan13

  The way they put down anything creative and discourage pursuit of music, art, dance, etc.
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  70

  Getting Back In (yes, its for family) What do I Say on 3rd Try?

  by Meadow36 in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  in my last meeting to be re-instated they said for next time figure out which person from the bible i'm most like.

  and be ready to tell them what i pray about and how i feel about what i did to jehovah.

  being honest , speaking from the heart about jesus forgiving peter and having a hard time answering the prayer question didn't work getting hysterical and nervous-breakdownish at the end didn't help, nor did running out of the hall after saying i could never do any better.

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  mamochan13

  Meadow, I feel for what you are going through. They made me beg and beg, they ignored my requests for reinstatement, and it took five or six meetings before they finally relented. Unfortunately, I moved to a new cong. right after being DF'd and it actually made things far more complicated. The new elders had to keep going back to the old ones and I had to meet with both sets. My final reinstatement meeting was with the original group. So I'm not sure whether that's a strategy that would benefit you.

  One thing I did emphasize was my personal relationship with God. Right from the first meeting I kept telling them that I knew in my heart that god had forgiven me and was hearing my prayers. My relationship with god was fine, in other words, and nothing they said or did would change that. They, of course, cannot "see" that, so they judge on outward evidence of whether god is blessing you or not. Whatever that could possibly be.

  Somehow you have to give visible proof of repentance, too. My problem was that they wanted certain specific things, some of which I was not prepared to do. They wanted me to quit my job - which I lost anyway because I worked with my brother and sister. They wanted me to not have married my wordly husband. They wanted me to not home school my kids so that they could associate with other JWs at school (now how twisted is that?). So they do look at every aspect of your life and they talk to other people to see what you have been saying and doing.

  There was a WT study article on the prodigal son that came out while I was DFd. It really focused on how elders should be the ones reaching out - in other words, the father ran with open arms when he saw his son returning, he didn't sit there stony-faced demanding an accounting. I remember having difficulty sitting through that particular meeting, especially when one kind elder who had always been a friend to me put up his hand and emphasized forgiveness and how elders should be welcoming to DFd ones who were trying to return.

  If you can find a copy it might have some ideas for you. It might be a good one to even bring along. I don't recall the exact date, somewhere around 1994-1995, I think.

  Good luck on your quest. I know how hard it is.
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  38

  RAY IS OUT!!! LEAVE SOME ENCOURAGEMENT FOR HIM!

  by MsGrowingGirl20 in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  they've df him...we all were following the judicial of raypublisher....jwstruggle....eric and we all are now awaiting the full video with full details.. this is a happy but hard time since he still has family in...let's try to strengthen him!

  he surely needs it now.

  give him encouraging words/pictures/videos!.

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  mamochan13

  Hang in there, Eric. I know how tough it is, but you've already shown that you are a resilient kind of guy who doesn't get knocked down without fighting back.

  You know, I attended the night they announced my DFing - but my intention at that time was to prove my repentance and desire to come back. The elders freaked out and forced me and my children out the door. They wouldn't let me stay for the announcement.

  Sorry for what your wife is doing. I think, fortunately, that courts are becoming more reasonable in those issues and less tolerant of allowing religion to divide. They believe children should have a relationship with both parents, and you believing something different than your wife does not count as bad parenting. Hopefully things will go in your favour and you will have plenty of access to your children.
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  46

  A poignant comment on JWsurvey.org from a nonJW regarding Sparlock

  by cedars in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  i woke up this morning to find the following comment had been left on jwsurvey.org on my article entitled "watchtower's new 'toy story' - what parents need to know".

  it read as follows.... .

  my grandson, who is 3, was telling me magic is bad several times a day.

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  mamochan13

  I think you've given gram some good advice, Cedars.

  Just wanted to add a couple of comments. KS, you suggest gram should have read a particular book before raising her daughter since she is in a cult. I wish it was that simple. AS parents we cannot control how our children turn out, unfortunately, no matter how many books we read! We also make many mistakes in raising our children. I did, because I raised them in the cult.

  Giordano's observation about the gram/daughter relationship got me thinking. My eldest daughter and I have a sometimes difficult relationship. Of my girls, she is the one most likely to return to JW land, although with my mom (her gram) gone that danger may be lessened. Her grandmother had a major influence on her, unfortunately. So it can go both ways. I should add that my other daughters are all open-minded critical thinkers who will never go back. It's just my eldest who is a black/white thinker attracted to cults.

  However, she is allowing my granddaughter to attend children's sessions at an evangelical Christian group with some family friends. My granddaughter is always telling me stuff about God, heaven, etc. I try to give her different perspectives, tell her I don't believe certain things and that there are many different religions. We have some great discussions (she's 7). I respect her mother's right to raise her and teach her what she will, whether I agree with it or not. I also have worked really hard to not interfere because of my own experience with my mother. I'm simply trying to encourage critical thinking and let my granddaughter know that there are other valid viewpoints (a la Dawkins).

  However, my granddaughter recently told me that her mom doesn't want her at my house because of these conversations. So sometimes you just can't win for trying. It really is a very complex thing when you are a grandparent who wants to do right by your grandchild.

  Now, I should add that if my daughter does ever start attending JW meetings, I may find it much harder to be tolerant. I don't think it's simply "moral panic". The danger to this 3-year-old is very real and gramma is right to be worried.

  PS - never underestimate the intelligence and reasoning capabilities of a 3-year-old.
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  36

  My story. not that interesting but, I want to tell it.

  by crystlew123 in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  hi my name is crystle.

  ( i dont care if my congregation finds out what i am posting.

  i havent been "in" for ten years and i have already told severl members what i think and where they can shove it...:/) i am 27 years old, and a single mother of a wonderful 6 year old.

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  mamochan13

  Thank you for sharing your story, Crystle. So glad you've found this place where you can vent. Sounds like in spite of all you've been through you still manage to keep a level head and are moving forward.
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  9

  My story :)

  by Matsimus in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  i was born into a family already some generations into jehovah's organization.

  from the time i was four years old i can remember my birthday being no more significant than me turning four years old.

  later i saw the significanse of it when my classmates had their birthdays, but i knew it was wrong.

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  mamochan13

  Welcome, Matsimus, and great story - thanks. You give an excellent example being able to break free because your critical thinking skills were engaged as a child.
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  71

  12/15/12 Watchower Study Edition - Higher Eduction = Thinking in a "complicated" manner

  by yourmomma in

  1. watchtower
  2. bible

  i found this quote from the 12/15/12 p.29 study edition of the watchtower to be hilarious:.

  "a college graduate in the united states.

  says: i spent 18 years speaking and writing.

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  mamochan13

  I agree that the "example" is made up.

  However, I find other comments in the issue even more disturbing. Parents who complain about how "long and tiresome" it was to explain concepts and teach meaning to their children, or the elderly sister who compares it to a father telling his child a bedtime story. And this one is the real killer: picture caption "time spent looking up words and explaining expressions (i.e. expanding one's vocabulary) is now spent gaining an understanding of the cited scriptures and how they tie into the lesson (the interpretation of the GB/FDS)"

  So not just dumbing down and making any type of higher education look unnecessary and worthless, it's also a tool to further the "don't think for yourself" agenda. REad and accept only the words of the GB/FDS. Do not look any scriptures up.