notewe - I'm in your area and will pm you my phone number if you want to talk. However, there are so many wonderful people on this board living all over the place who are ready and willing to provide support - you don't necessarily need someone physically close.
so much of what you say resonates with me, because i, too, am an overacheiver and defined myself by the roles I tried to play as an exemplary JW, pioneer, etc. When I discovered that the elders really considered me an unimportant nothing, someone who was not even worthy of teaching my own children (during the period I was DF'd), it was devastating.
Moving on withoiut support of family and friends is difficult, but there are strategies that can help. For me, going back to university and opening my mind was an essential step. Getting involved in a project that is meaningful personally is something I think helps almost everyone. I did speak to a number of non-JW counsellors and therapists, but this involved explaining my background as a JW and why I was so consumed with guilt - then facing their shock and horror usually made things much worse. Talking to people like those here on this board, who have been there and understand, is really helpful.
Getting out and staying out has been the best thing I've ever done for myself and my children, so it is worth the struggle.