thank you for your encouragement.
i was so impressed when my wife called and told me i was mentioned on the jwd thread "who are the smartest posters here".
http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/forum/thread.aspx?id=42252&site=3 i felt bad for the truly smart posters on the board who were linked in any way with the likes of me, and disappointed that not enough credit was given to those as oldhippy, janh, norm, kent, hilarystep, larc, pathofthorns, jt, and hawkaw all who should have been listed near the top with the others identified.
jst2laws,
Thanks for saying that about my ex. He and I are still the best of friends--we were married for 8 years. And I KNOW beyond a shadow of a doubt that I would never have gotten out of the borg without him--so he's very precious in my eyes.
It's taken me a long time to give myself credit--and it's still hard to do sometimes. I tend to beat myself up for the years of LIVING that I lost while being a jw, but the fact is I'm out now! Needless to say, I'm still trying to catch up!
Becky
thank you for your encouragement.
i was so impressed when my wife called and told me i was mentioned on the jwd thread "who are the smartest posters here".
http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/forum/thread.aspx?id=42252&site=3 i felt bad for the truly smart posters on the board who were linked in any way with the likes of me, and disappointed that not enough credit was given to those as oldhippy, janh, norm, kent, hilarystep, larc, pathofthorns, jt, and hawkaw all who should have been listed near the top with the others identified.
First, Charlie, my now ex-husband, for having the patience to help me see the "light". Next, Randy Watters, because he told Charlie to be patient with me when he first realized it was a bunch of bullshit. My ex-jw friends in the greater Cincinnati area who left with us helped me to realize that I wasn't going insane, even though I felt like it many times. Jw. com--for providing a place to either vent, share, or just simply read about others' experiences. And last but certainly not least, my boyfriend Jonathan for dealing with the after-effects (day after day) of someone who's left a cult.
I guess I also need to give some credit to myself--because the bottom line is that I made the decision to never go back. Even though my husband knew it was a bunch of bullshit before I did, I had quit going to meetings first--because in my heart I knew something wasn't right. It took a couple of long years before I could finally think for myself, but it was worth the wait.
Thanks for such a great topic!
Becky
well i've been here a year today.
just a note to all the great people i have met here and have yet to meet in person.
i remember the day i found this site.
Congrats Valis! Although my boyfriend and I have yet to meet you, we always enjoy reading your comments--especially in reference to certain things we have in common. You and cowboy were the first ones I met in chat; and even though I don't post much or chat often, I always enjoy your experiences. I too feel that the more ex-jw's we meet the better off we are. Our experience can only truly be understood by others who have gone through the same shit.
Thanks for all you contribute--and we're looking forward to a visit to Rhode Island so you can shepherd the local flock! We promise to be very KIND to you!
Becky
the fear of rejection has once again controlled my life and my actions in an unintentional act of self destruction brought on by how i was raised to view life.
i have come to the conclusion that i will probably be battling this psychological whirlpool of self sabotage for the rest of my life and i do not think i have the ability to completely eliminate it.
talking about it here is a start.
(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((DAVE))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
I am so sorry that you are having a rough time! Although I don't know you, I can certainly empathize with what you're feeling. It's very difficult at times to separate the jw bullshit from our present reality--no matter how many years have passed. I hope you can find the strength to try try again--hopefully with the woman you were speaking of--she sounds very special to you.
Life is only what we make it, and we have to put our hearts on the line in order to take a chance on love. I guess I finally decided somewhere down the line that it's worth the risk--because you never know unless you try. Besides, you can't ever give out too much love--even if it's not returned. Good luck and best wishes with your decisions. I hope you figure out what you need and find it soon.
Becky
hi, i haven't been here long, but i can't seem to find anyone from the lexington ky or suronding counties.
please send replies soon.
Hello Lisa and Welcome to the forum! I am originally from the greater Cincinnati/No. Ky area, but I live in Rhode Island now. There are many ex-jw's in Cincy, and some of my best friends live near Lexington. I will be in Cincy from Dec. 25-28. If you'd like to meet some more people, please email me with more about you and your situation. My name is Becky Leon, and I have been out of the jw's for about 4 years, but am not da'd or df'd. Hope to hear from you soon!
Becky
hello all, i am an exjw just trying to figure out whether this is a projw site or not.
i grew up in the cincinnati, oh area, father was (and still is) an elder.
brother died at age 20 because a blood transfusion was refused for him by the elders and he left a wife and little girl behind.
Welcome Married! I am from the Cincy/No. KY area, but am now living in Rhode Island. I'm curious though if I might know you. My name is Becky (Daniel) Leon, and I grew up in the Sun Valley Cong. in Kentucky. I also attended Williamstown, Owenton, and the Spanish Congs. I had many friends over the years from various congs. in Ohio, so perhaps we know each other.
I'm 34, and I left with my now ex-husband about 4 years ago (we were never df'd or da'd). Please feel free to email me if you'd prefer privacy. I will be in Cincy Dec. 25-28, and a big group of ex-jw's are getting together on Friday the 27th. We'd love to meet you!
Becky
what do i want on my tombstone?.
i've always thought i would have a quote from the jimmy buffett song "he went to paris".
some of its magic.
Joel,
You are correct--none of us really know you. We only know whatever persona you've chosen to display to us on the forum. The funny thing is--we LIKE what you've given us. I hope you find the strength to decide that life is worth living--because you would be sorely missed. I found an old saying that I wrote down during one of my darkest hours--and I read it as often as needed in the years since. I hope it helps a little.
"When you get into a tight place and everything goes against you, 'til it seems as though you could not hang on a minute longer, NEVER give up then, for that is just the place and time that the tide will turn."----Harriet Beecher Stowe
That saying has proved true for me many times over now. There have been many times in my life (leaving jw's, divorcing hubby etc.) where I thought things could never get better. I finally started figuring out that they DO get better--but I had to work for it. It was worth it--because life can and does get better if you let it. Please please please find someone to talk to!
Becky
.
unless you are famous for something how long are you really remembered?.
maybe you are remembered at most by your grandchildren, but then your presence in the universe is gone.. so, really, what difference does it make whether you die in your 40's or your 70's, your memory simply lingers another 30 years at most.
(((((((((((((((((((((((((JOELBEAR))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
I wish so bad that I (or anybody) could help you with your depression. But I think only YOU can do that--and sometimes it takes a while to figure out what works. You certainly matter to a lot of people here on the board, as evidenced by the responses so far.
Although there are people who decide to end their life to stop the way they feel (and that's their choice), there are many people around you every day who decide to stay alive. I hope you are one of those--because I have yet to meet you in person. I know I never told you, but the things you wrote on the long thread about homosexuality helped me tremendously. I really appreciated your contributions--because you played a crucial role in being able to deflect the ignorant thinking, and because what you wrote helped me deal with my feelings toward my ex-husband.
You affect many people every day--please remember that you are loved. If you ever need someone to talk to, my email is always open.
Becky
this morning on the way to work, i burst into song.
not just any song ... but the heretofore forbidden "star spangled banner".
i just felt like singing and i wanted to sing something challenging and it seemed like the perfect choice.
Hey Bob's Girl and Aluminutty!!! I'm looking forward to seeing you at X-mas! Hmmm, I could make a long list of "forbidden pleasures"....
R rated movies, romance novels (when I was younger), holidays--with all movies, music, decorations etc. included, politics (just being able to talk about them), sex, private pleasures, other religions, wearing short skirts or a low blouse......
It's amazing how many things we were deprived of when we sit down and think about it. I think the worst part of all of it is that we were not able to make up our own minds! Great topic--thanks for sharing!
Becky
some of you may know that my parents were expected for "dinner" on thanksgiving day.
well i really don't think its going to happen now.
i called my dad last night becuase my mother, now visiting my kids in south texas and bringing them here to see me, said they had "stuff to do on thursday".
(((((((((((((((((((((((((((VALIS))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
I'm sorry to hear that your parents probably won't make it for T day. I'm sure that had to hurt! And I don't think you said anything wrong. Those situations come about so quickly sometimes that we just react--and think later. You definitely gave your dad something to think about in contrast to the drivel from the borg! Anyway, based on your conversation with him you'll be able to figure out what things really struck a nerve. Hopefully you'll encounter more opportunities to open his mind little by little.
I hope you have a wonderful turkey day with your friends and family who do come--because that's what matters the most! It sounds like you'll be surrounded by people who want to be with you unconditionally.
I haven't forgotten about you maybe coming to visit sometime after the holidays--and we'll make sure that you have a good time!
Becky
