Anything this drastic's gotta come in letter form!
To All Congregations:
The Bible reminds us that we are a "theatrical spectacle", always under the microscope of the world. We must remain ever vigilant to present ourselves as Christians who have fully accepted the "new personality" as exemplified in Christ Jesus. Certainly, this would include being honest in all our dealings.
The Governing Body has carefully considered this fact and has arrived at a saddening conclusion. An honest-hearted examination of Jehovah's dealings with his people shows that he has not been entirely truthful with us. Moreover, he has failed to show any repentance for this, despite having expressed "regret" over other matters, such as the flood. While a full recounting of Jehovah's lies is beyond the scope of this letter, it is felt that a brief list of the more egregious examples would be appropriate:
*) The end did not come in 1914.
*) The end did not come in 1975.
*) The end can no longer be tied to "this generation", since his New Light of 1995.
Now we find that Jehovah is again directing us to a date; 2034. Will we naively accept this date as factual? Or will we, as the Beroeans did, "examine the scriptures carefully" and determine if this date has merit? As Christians, we must follow the Bible's advice and reject Jehovah's latest date prediction.
In view of these lies, the Governing Body feels it has no choice but to expel Jehovah from the organization. This will no doubt cause difficulties for many brothers and sisters, but we have complete assurance that these difficulties will not be insurmountable. As the Bible informs us, 'he will not let you be tested beyond what you can bear'. "He" in this context must be understood to apply to Jesus, as it is now clear that Jehovah is not reliable.
Some may ask, "How will this affect my prayers? Should I still pray to Jehovah?" Clearly, prayers should no longer be directed to this dishonest deity. Rather, your prayers should now be offered directly to Jesus, as our savior and king. Just as the Bible reminds us not to punish sons for their father's acts, so we also must not allow Jehovah's tarnished integrity to sully our view of the Perfect Christ.
Further, it would be inappropriate to continue to refer to the organization with the name of one who is not a fulfiller of promises, so it is with great pleasure that we inform you of our new name: "The Governing Body's Minions"!
It should be noted that while "minion" often carries a negative connotation, the original meaning of the word is simply one who is shown favor; a "darling". In this sense, it is clear that the Governing Body will continue to adore and show favor to those that look to it for direction.
It is our sincere hope that with the Body's blessing, you will continue to serve us and allow us to adore you. Be busy in the work of the Body!
Yours in Christian Service,
The Governing Body
