(((Crumpy)))
I've read through your entire thread and there's really nothing I could add that hasn't been suggested. Sorry....
The one thing that stood out to me that was good to hear about you is this: YOU ARE MOTIVATED. That's a good sign....
We all have our down times....... not clinical depression, but the normal "blues". It will pass. Take time for yourself and treat yourself. Is there something you could volunteer doing that would fulfil your need to "give of yourself"?
I wish you peace of mind.
Love, Juni