Posts by bagpuss

35

having a hard time making friends

by happy camper in

jw
friends

i was wondering if anyone else has had a hard time making friends since leaving the organization.

being raised as a jw, it seems difficult to me, as i was never allowed to have any friends who weren't other jw's.

as a result, i have isolated myself to only my immediate family.

bagpuss

I think that I was quite lucky as my husband was never a JW so I always had ' worldly ' friends even as an active witness. Having said that I did find it difficult for a while to make new friends as the idea still lurked in the back of my mind that it was wrong. It can be hard to start viewing people as worthwhile human beings and not just worldly people and once you have made that jump it becomes much easier to find and also be a good friend.

What I found a great help was never to label anyone. Trust your own instincts and take people at face value. There are some great people out there. I read something recently that said "there are no strangers here,only friends you haven't met yet"

Get out there and introduce yourself - it's worth it!

52

OMG!! TURN ON YOUR TV NOW!! Michael Jackson being chased by POLICE!!!!!

by SixofNine in

jw
friends

.

made ya look.

bagpuss

I thought it was another O.J Simpson. Really fell for it. Nice one.

22

How do you feel about.....

by bagpuss in

jw
friends

going back to a kingdom hall?.

recently i've had a couple of visits from jws while i was at work.

each time they left a message that the co was going to be visiting this week and that it would be good if i went to the meeting.. i was really surprised at the strong reaction i had to the thought of going to a meeting again.

bagpuss

going back to a kingdom hall?

Recently I've had a couple of visits from JWs while I was at work. Each time they left a message that the CO was going to be visiting this week and that it would be good if I went to the meeting.

I was really surprised at the strong reaction I had to the thought of going to a meeting again. The thought really makes me feel physically sick. I haven't been in a kingdom hall for 18 months and when I think about going I still feel a hint of the depression I felt during meetings and if I persue the thought I actually start to feel quite panicky.

How do you feel about going back,even if only for one meeting?

12

Does you feel guilty for those you brought into the org?

by ddean3673 in

jw
friends

don't really know how i feel about that one.

my brother is in the truth because of what i "taught" him as well as my "example" according to others and him (he doesn't know my official stand yet).

an earlier post opened my eyes a little...i know now i didn't do it alone, and that i was trained to bring in others (one thing that i must say the training really helped me in my career as a sales director, ironically enough).. i was just wondering how other people view this.

bagpuss

I didn't bring anyone into the org, but i do feel really guilty that my children missed out on so many birthdays and christmases when they were young. It doesn't seem to worry them but I feel really bad that they missed out because of something that I believed and now can see was wrong.

48

congregational cliques

by chuckyy in

it was my experience during my 13 yrs as a jw that congregations usually had a social clique.

in other words, there would be a group of people in a congregation that would only associate (and sometimes only go out on field service too) with people within that social clique.

if you were in the clique, fine.

bagpuss

In my congregation there were a few families that were the "in" people to associate with. All of these were elders families and while the elders themselves were usually pretty nice to most people it seemed that it was the wives who decided who could join their clique.Anyone from a divided home had to find there own friends and many did - outside the congregation! When I was baptised there were many sisters who were on their own in the cong. One by one they drifted away until I was the only one.One of the last times that I took part in the service meeting was an item about how to help those in divided homes.It felt good to get up on the platform and let them know how it felt to be alone and not included in social activities. I really don't think that anything I said went in. They were more interested in how wonderful the truth is and how they show love to everyone.As far as I know the cliques remain the same to this day,but at least they don't have to worry about those who struggle on their own anymore as there aren't any!

24

Were You On The Same Wave Length As The Others In The Hall???

by minimus in

jw
friends

can you get in trouble for playing chess, having a very large gathering, going to a pg13 movie, etc.??????

so many answers amounted to this----as the answer-----"you just know better, that's all".

"mature ones" just "knew" without asking whether something was right or wrong, doable or not.

bagpuss

Despite being regular at meetings and in field service for nearly 15 years I never fitted in to my congregation. My husband is convinced that was because he wasn't a jw and he may be right.It always made me feel upset to listen to talks about how elders should take the lead in inviting those in divided homes into their homes. Not one elder invited me to their home,unless they wanted me to take part in the service meeting.Other than that I was not welcome.

12

Looks like its started!

by bagpuss in

jw
friends

today while out shopping i met someone who used to be in the same congregation as me,but who hadn't been to a meeting for years.after chatting about families for a while he told me that he had just started going to meetings again.

confused when i didn't seem overjoyed he asked if i was still going.he seemed genuinely shocked when i said no,but even more so when in response to his question i told him no,i'm not going back.his next comment i thought was quite telling.

"what,not even with all the things happening in the world at the moment?".

bagpuss

Today while out shopping I met someone who used to be in the same congregation as me,but who hadn't been to a meeting for years.After chatting about families for a while he told me that he had just started going to meetings again. Confused when I didn't seem overjoyed he asked if I was still going.He seemed genuinely shocked when I said no,but even more so when in response to his question I told him no,I'm not going back.His next comment I thought was quite telling. "what,not even with all the things happening in the world at the moment?"

Yes,I do believe its started. The return of those who feel the need to rush to the kingdom hall when a disaster strikes! It was always noticable that the hall was a bit busier at these times.It never lasted.As soon as the danger passed they would disappear.Was it similar in your congregation? Did you always receive these ones with "joy" or did you ever think what a hypocrite? Be honest now!!

By the way, his last comment to me was "I hope you change your mind". I was very tempted to say I bet you change yours first!

2

Lets get creative

by bagpuss in

jw
friends

my favourite childrens book is "we're going on a bear hunt" .

for those who don't know the book it begins,.

we're going on a bear hunt.. we're going to catch a big one.. what a beautiful day!.

bagpuss

My favourite childrens book is "We're going on a bear hunt" . For those who don't know the book it begins,

We're going on a bear hunt.

We're going to catch a big one.

What a beautiful day!

We're not scared.

Uh-oh! Grass! Long wavy grass.

We can't go over it,we can't go under it.

Oh no! We've got to go through it!

I thought it would be fun to write a JW version. Here's what I've got so far.

We're going on the ministry,we're going to catch some sheeplike ones.

We're not scared. Uh-oh! Brother Boring

We can't work infront of him,we can't work behind him.

Oh no! We've got to work with him.

So now its over to you! Can you add a verse using the same pattern? How about "we're going to the meeting?"

Come on-have a go.

40

How Did YOU Leave The Organization??

by minimus in

jw
friends

did you just decide one morning that that was it??

did you agonize over making the decision?

was it a very gradual process?

bagpuss

Non of these really Minimus. For over two years before I left I'd been suffering from depression and having real doubts about the org. last summer (July 2003) my depression got much worse and I attended my last meeting that month. There was no real decision, no agonizing, it really just sort of happened!! When I began to get better and my head began to clear I knew I couldn't go back nor did I want to. During the roughest time of my life I found I had real friends who got me through it and not one of them was a jw.

There have been no visits from elders even though they knew how I was feeling. In my cong it seems that depression is an embarrassment (unless you have an elder in the family)

So in some ways my leaving was easy compared to some of you. I would never want to become that depressed again but I'm happier now than I've been in years.

41

Depression & Jehovah's Witnesses

by minimus in

jw
friends

is it me or does it seem that nearly all jws go through depression in varying ways??

i'm not talking about what the average person could deal with because of a loss of a loved one or a job termination, etc.

i'm referring to being depressed because you're a jehovah's witness.

bagpuss

When I stopped going to meeting 16 months ago I was suffering with depression.At the time I thought the depression was the reason I found the jw life so difficult but looking back now I can see that it was the life that caused the depression.My husband has never been a jw and my children had both decided that it was not for them. Trying to lead the life with no support,no friends in the congregation and hearing how much more I should be doing took its toll.Only yesterday my husband commented on how I would go to meetings reasonably happy and come home a wreck,more often than not sobbing within minutes of being in the house.Leaving it all behind has made a hugh difference. Sometimes I remember all over again that I am OUT and the feeling that brings is amazing.