Posts by formerout

16

Court tomorrow.... wise advice is appreciated.

by formerout in

jw
friends

just a quick run-down for those who haven't followed my court case so far: .

my ex and i have joint custody but primary residence is with her.

she has broken a bunch of the orders that the judge made.

formerout

I_Dare,

Very good points. I understood exactly what you meant. I certainly have tried to only point out the negative things that their mother is doing insofar as how it affects us getting to spend time together. It's a delicate balance, it seems, to point out the bad without making oneself look ngative as a whole. Thanks.

freedom96,

Thanks for the support. It's funny how I think that I'm telling the Judge about these rotten things that are happening to the kids and myself, when in reality they have always seen worse. Thanks.

Brad

16

Court tomorrow.... wise advice is appreciated.

by formerout in

jw
friends

just a quick run-down for those who haven't followed my court case so far: .

my ex and i have joint custody but primary residence is with her.

she has broken a bunch of the orders that the judge made.

formerout

Bryan,

Yeah, I have quite a few documents to prove her breaches.... it's always a fine line as to what is too much or not enough. Thanks for the support.

HappyGuy,

I completely agree with the fact that I need to help my 10 year-old son the most. The Judge will see that too, I believe and she will figure out a way to stop my ex from not letting him come.

I hope it is not so hard for her to switch primary residence as it seems. I am still in the house that they were living in for so long and the Judge did already prevent the school switch, even though my ex is living over a half an hour away.

I am hoping that the Judge sees it as me being cooperative with my ex by having said that when she moves back into town we can discuss living arrangements then. Do you think she will make a decision based on the fact that nothing will change for the six months after her decision?

Brad

16

Court tomorrow.... wise advice is appreciated.

by formerout in

jw
friends

just a quick run-down for those who haven't followed my court case so far: .

my ex and i have joint custody but primary residence is with her.

she has broken a bunch of the orders that the judge made.

formerout

Just a quick run-down for those who haven't followed my court case so far:

My ex and I have joint custody but primary residence is with her. She has broken a bunch of the orders that the Judge made. These include that she moved out-of-town, hasn't given me my access times, she has not stopped her mother from taking my children to the KH, etc.

On November 24th, I convinced the Judge to prevent her from switching the kids (4) in their school. The Judge scheduled a summary trial for tomorrow. I have asked for sole custody or alternatively having primary residence switched to my house until she moves back into town (she didn't move for ANY legitimate reason...work, mate, etc.).

I'm getting my motions, affidavits, notes, strategies in order. I have already received some good advice from others, esp. HappyGuy, since his situation was similar to mine. Does anybody have any words of wisdom or support to share?

Brad

33

WT WARNING EXAMPLES: Anybody see this video?

by cyber-sista in

warning examples for our times was a wt release video that came out a couple of years ago.

at the times i was given it to watch so i could know the seriousness of my daughter marrying an unbeliever (any of you who have heard my story know she had never become a believer herself, so technically was an unbeliever too, thus not qualified to marry a believer either, but made guilty by association with the jws--catch 22 situation).

anyway, the video horrified me at the time.

formerout

Hippie,

I would be willing to pay significant cash to see someone make sure you took your daily medication.

Holy smokes buddy. I hope this very rude reply to HappyGuy was only because you never had to experience the manipulation he speaks of and that this video proves. If it is made even though you are aware of these nasty things that happen to kids, then you're one sick puppy!!

Upside/down said,

If God spoke to me and asked me to do something odd (being a modern opinionated person) I would probably ask him why, but if he said to do it (schizo being ruled out) I'd do it! But that's the only way I'd do it. If some man told me that God told him to tell me- screw you- get the picture.

I really, really hope that this guy never believes that God is ever talking to him...... good grief. Even more, I hope that he doesn't think that the words of the FDS is God speaking to him.

Brad

47

Somebody- Please Help Me UNDERSTAND?

by upside/down in

i understand there is a ton of anger out there toward the wts and dub's, and rightly so... what i don't understand is this notion that there is an evil conspiracy on the part of the wts and dubs as individuals to subjugate and control the unwary (or however you want to label us) for some evil sinister purpose.

i know what they are doing and agree it's wrong but to what purpose- i mean you can look at televangelist and see what's up with them (follow the money).

but what's up with the dub's.

formerout

u/d,

It is hard for me to believe that no individuals at high rank have come to understand that fantasy -what with all the exposure they have had in the past 20 years. But, collectively - no, I think they are just the mislead, misleading the mislead!

I tend to lean towards this sort of reasoning. Not all people's egos are driven by money. A lot of dubs get off on the power that they wield within that organization. A lot of others get off on how great they are at being in subjection to others.

Their whole structure is designed to facilitate those needs. But really, what came first the chicken or the egg? A lot of people stay even though they believe it's hogwash just because it's easier to do so.

The problem that I have with the org. is that this structure is so strongly enforced. Combine that with the fact that support is given to the members unquestionably and the result is what has been exposed more and more recently: NOT ONLY DO THEY PROTECT DYSFUNCTIONAL PEOPLE BUT THEY BREED THEM AS WELL.

Brad

39

Does being a JW damage some children mentally?

by Gill in

jw
friends

formerout

Yes, Yes it does. I am living proof of it.

However, all things being relative, after we have acknowledged our "quirks" or "dysfunctional ways" we are also able to heal. IMO, we are also able to realize to an even greater extent the freedom that we have now.

The old saying, "I do not miss what I haven't got" is also true the other way around. "When we realize what we have been missing, we embrace it more fully than those who have never missed it."

My two cents,

Brad

50

What Is Your Biggest Regret Because You Were a Jehovah's Witness?

by minimus in

jw
friends

growing up as a witness makes it nearly impossible to deal with the "world", as a child.

constant pressure is put on witness kids to conform.

most lead a "double life" out of necessity.

formerout

Not being able to play organized sports. Ironically, I was allowed to compete in individual events like track and field up to a certain level. Then when I qualified for the higher levels of competition it was cut off from me.

Once, in Grade 5 I forged my dad's signature in order to be allowed to go to the next level. The guilt got the best of me though and I performed way below my personal best.

But the organized sports thing was the worst. I was one of the best at each sport even though I only played them at recess. If I had of had any coaching I probably could have gone somewhere. Even if not, I would have been a more socially well-adjusted kid. Bummer!!

Brad

8

I'm looking for a specific Watchtower quote, please.

by formerout in

for any who are unaware, i am going through a custody battle with my ex-wife.

despite the fact that she stopped attending about 8 years ago and hates the jw religion, she has been encouraged by her pioneer mother to use every jw trick in the book.. i was on the www.freeminds.org site last nite, reading the "theocratic warfare" section.

i only got about a third of the way through it and didn't find yet what i was looking for.

formerout

BTTT

38

How rebellious did you get after leaving?

by JH in

jw
friends

after leaving a controlling sect, it?s normal to want to live ?freedom?.

what did you do to show that you were no longer under the influence of the watchtower?

did you grow a beard, start having sex with whoever, start drinking, start gambling?

formerout

Well, since I got df'd a couple of months before my marriage for having sex, the only thing that changed there was I never felt quite as guilty the last 100 times or so. teehee

I was already drinking quite a bit... don't all JW's? No change there either.

I don't like beards.. too itchy. No change there either.

I still think gambling is silly. No change there.

Honestly the only thing I really did that I considered "rebellious" was that I started playing all kinds of organized sports. For shame.... I'm still being such a bad, BAD man!!....lol

Brad

8

I'm looking for a specific Watchtower quote, please.

by formerout in

for any who are unaware, i am going through a custody battle with my ex-wife.

despite the fact that she stopped attending about 8 years ago and hates the jw religion, she has been encouraged by her pioneer mother to use every jw trick in the book.. i was on the www.freeminds.org site last nite, reading the "theocratic warfare" section.

i only got about a third of the way through it and didn't find yet what i was looking for.

formerout

For any who are unaware, I am going through a custody battle with my ex-wife. Despite the fact that she stopped attending about 8 years ago and hates the JW religion, she has been encouraged by her pioneer mother to use every JW trick in the book.

I was on the www.freeminds.org site last nite, reading the "Theocratic Warfare" section. I only got about a third of the way through it and didn't find yet what I was looking for. It may be there but I haven't had time to go back to read the rest (kids with me this weekend).

I remember reading a very specific quote from a JW publication years ago that shocked me. It was an article regarding a JW parent and a non-JW parent separating and going to court for custody.

The essence of what it said (or at least what I took from it) was that since it was automatically better for the child to be with the JW parent in order for them to survive Armageddon, the JW parent should use very specific tactics to "win" the court case. I seem to remember them saying to stay calm, so that they can look better than the other parent and therefore win over the Judges. It also gave other advice.

From what I can remember about what was going on in my life was that it may have been about 1993-1995. When I go to court next Friday, if things aren't going well, (although my ex has done enough crazy stuff that I shouldn't need it) I would like to have that quote or a similar one as a last resort to let the Judge see how morally different we are as to who she can believe more.

The reason it shocked me years ago (as I was leaving the borg), was that I still found it hard to believe that they said NOTHING about who was the better parent for the kids in everyday life... naive I know.....lol. Since they feel that they should play God with our kids, I would gladly play Ghandi in order to make it even.

Thanks in advance for your help,

Brad