From my own experiences inside the structure, from my own collection of errata with who gets to do what, and combining that with experiences I read on this website, my conclusion is that JWs in general have no intention of requiring any standard of truth among themselves. The only crime is rocking the boat. To put this more bluntly, the GB lie. The GB lie. Those who lie the lies that the GB lie also themselves lie. You cannot find any JW that is in good standing who is not lying. They lie to themselves, first and foremost. They lie to the public, which is next in egregious moral wrong. They lie to their family. They lie to their friends. The sum significance of these varieties of lies is that you need to take charge of the demon of guilt they have implanted in you or saddled on you as respects what numbers or metrics they need to be harvesting from you. They'll squeeze you in a juice press for all the numbers or metrics you've got, and will only eject you from the juice press (the KH and good standing) if you refuse to produce the last metric. SO: The metric of being able to be counted as a publisher is one number. That requires not rocking the boat, not pointing at the naked emperor, not pointing at the elephant, not making a face at the foul stench. If you can do that, you can stay in. You need to find happy places in your mind to endure this concentration camp. Other posters here recommend texts that document JW teachings from an academic or pedagogical standpoint. I would recommend Victor Frankl's "Man's Search For Meaning". I would also recommend falsely reporting as small a number for field service as will keep them at bay. No number related to field service matters one bit. No one is honestly accomplishing anything honest in the entire process of field service, so do not allow their guilt machine to work inside your own perswonal sense of right and wrong. It is all catastrophically comprehensive bullshit, of the highest magnitude. Put in your false 15 minutes, your false half-hour, always have a story to explain your false numbers, and savor your time. (And plan, plan, plan how to reach those you care about.) The most important thing right now is breathing fresh air, locating sources of sanity, and putting on camoflague. Then building support networks. You have a long slog if you want your loved ones.