I dealt with the same feelings for years. I was raised as a JW, left for good when I was 21. I am 30 now and up until I started 'investigating' their doctrines I had the same nagging voice in the back of my head. I have just come to the realization that I've pretty much been duped all these years and have been beating myself up for nothing. My suggestion to you, would be to look into the basis of their doctrines and check for yourself as to whether or not they seem backed up by the bible. We were always told that looking for answers elsewhere pretty much amounted to apostasy. Now I realize that they didn't want us discovering that many teachings don't hold up to even common reasoning. Good luck to you and I hope that you can find the peace you are looking for.
redskymedic
JoinedPosts by redskymedic
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22
Not in the truth, but haunted by it...
by confuzzed ini am having trouble dealing with this little voice in the back of my head telling me that if i don't go back to meetings i won't go to the new system and everything i am doing is wrong blah blah blah.
although i have agreed to a study i believe it is more to shut up this little voice rather than because i want to be a witness again.
but if i don't go back i have to deal with this horrible feeling all the time.
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What? He's not in the truth???!!!!
by gerbils in2 1/2 years ago i met my non-jw boyfriend, and i received a shepherding call from two lovely elders who told me that i was mixing good with evil, and didn't i know the man i loved was going to die at armaggedon?
they left me in tears...not as though i left my boyfriend of course.
i've made sure that things like that don't get to me anymore.
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redskymedic
Oh yes, been there on more than one occasion. That's why I'm DF-d now, to be honest. Obviously, the threats didn't stop me and I couldn't be happier with my non-JW husband.
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Encouraged NOT to have kids
by JustTickledPink ini was just thinking about the publisher stats and the birth rate, that was mentioned.. do you all remember in the 80's at the assemblies everyone was encouraged not to have children, to spend their time pioneering, because at armeggedon and in the time of the "tribulation" that it would be difficult with small kids.... to wait until the new system.. i remember a couple that pioneered and she really wanted kids, so her husband made her a deal that they had to pioneer for 5 more years and if the "end" hadn't come yet, they could have kids.
i think they were reaching 30. i do remember 5 years went by and they had a son, that was probably 15 years ago.
can you imagine the people that followed the advice and now are too old to have kids, but spent plenty of time pioneering?.
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redskymedic
Now that you mention it, I do recall that. I was only a teen at the time, but I remember thinking how terrible to tell people that.
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Missed oppourtunities as a JW kid?
by kwintestal injw kids are repressed in every aspect of their lives, creatively, intellectually, atheletically...the list goes on.. what did you love to do as a kid, yet weren't permitted to do?.
i personally loved football as a kid.
other jw kids and i would play every weekend until the subject was brought up at an assembly as being competitive.
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redskymedic
I wanted to be a nurse . . . that was strongly discouraged since I may one day be forced to administer blood products to a patient. Well, I am now a flight paramedic and guiltlessly give my patients blood with a smirk on my face.
I hated not being able to participate in any after-school activities. I think that bothered me more than not celebrating birthdays.
Red
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Go Figure
by redskymedic inso, after browsing through this website and then taking the search for the real 'truth' about the wts into my own hands, i decided to confront my jw mother.
i stuck with the date-changing (1914, 1975, 2000) and asked what the explanation was since i have been gone for over 10 years now.
she was quiet for a minute, then told me there was an explanation but she would have to look it up.
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redskymedic
So, after browsing through this website and then taking the search for the real 'Truth' about the WTS into my own hands, I decided to confront my JW mother. I stuck with the date-changing (1914, 1975, 2000) and asked what the explanation was since I have been gone for over 10 years now. She was quiet for a minute, then told me there was an explanation but she would have to look it up. Hmm. Ok. This is someone that in my head has always 'known' the bible inside and out. I asked her if the switching of dates and the generation that was not to have passed away now having died, didn't strike her as odd or make her have doubts. Her answer to me was this, "If 99% of what they tell me is true, then I am not going to worry about the other 1%". I almost asked her for the definition of TRUTH, but it was obviosly a fruitless discussion and I let it drop. She flat out admitted that they were wrong but wasn't phased in the least. Amazing what mind-control can make you overlook.
Just thought I'd share . . .wasn't sure if I should find it funny or just downright pitiful.
Red
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Playing Dumb
by redskymedic ini had this bizarre urge the other day to walk into a kh (i am df-d by the way) and play dumb .
not tell anyone that i ever had any affiliation with the witnesses and lead them all on.
oh, to see the looks on the faces of some when they came to find out they were associating with a df-ed person (gasp).
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redskymedic
I had this bizarre urge the other day to walk into a KH (I am DF-d by the way) and play dumb . . . not tell anyone that I ever had any affiliation with the witnesses and lead them all on. Oh, to see the looks on the faces of some when they came to find out they were associating with a DF-ed person (GASP). Thankfully, the urge left and I came back to my senses.
Red
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Hi I'm new here
by embeth2525 ini am so glad that i found this site.
i have been reading these posts and they have made me feel so much better.
my family was "in the truth" when i was little, and i feel like i really had a messed up child hood.
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redskymedic
I think you will find this board to be very helpful in 'recovering'. For some reason I thought I was the only one out there who felt like they were still not right after being raised with such guilt about everything. It does get easier!
Red
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Are You Surprised As To How You Are Now That You're Out of The "Truth"?
by minimus insince we were indoctrinated that those leaving the organiztion had their lives turn into sh*t until they "returned to jehovah (the organization), how would you say things have turned out--so far?
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redskymedic
It took years to get comfortable in my own skin . . . to not feel guilty about EVERYTHING. Now that I've gotten past that, I am far happier than I have ever been. My life is better than most JW's that I know . . . and I am genuinely happier than most as well. I have a true inner peace that I thought wasn't possible. I am a happy, happy woman!!
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Depression & Jehovah's Witnesses
by minimus inis it me or does it seem that nearly all jws go through depression in varying ways??
i'm not talking about what the average person could deal with because of a loss of a loved one or a job termination, etc.
i'm referring to being depressed because you're a jehovah's witness.
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redskymedic
I was treated for depression at 16 and then attempted suicide at age 18 . . . all because I couldn't live up to the JW expectation and didn't know how to go about my life without the support of my JW mom and all of the 'friends'. I don't know how anyone could grow up secure in that atmosphere. I am so happy to not be passing this on to my children.
Red
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*~Intro~*
by redskymedic inmy husband actually found this site and had me check it out.
it's funny that i never though to go looking myself.
a little background on me~ i was raised from birth as a jw .
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redskymedic
My husband actually found this site and had me check it out. It's funny that I never though to go looking myself.
A little background on me~ I was raised from birth as a JW . . . mom was a witness, dad was not. Parents divorced over it when I was 11. Unfortunately, my dad never stuck up for me or defended my option to *choose* whether or not this religion was what I wanted. My mother was very domineering and controlling, so if I wanted life to go smoothly for me, I had no choice but to go along. Never really had it in my heart (even though I was talked into getting baptized), and by the time I was 16 I was seriously rebelling. Stuck it out, though, until I was 18 and got pregnant (oops, there was that rebelling again), I was DF-ed, but being young and on my own with a baby on the way, I started back to meetings and got RI just before my son was born. Fast-forward 3 years later . . . meet a guy, not a witness, and well, I end up DF-ed again. This time, I was working and needed no more assistance from mom, so I decided to wash my hands of the religion altogether.
It has been 9 years now and I still have issues with my family. My mother has recently contacted the KH in my area and gave them my phone number . . . I'm not too impressed. Apparently she is still holding out hope that I will return. She will come over and babysit for me but otherwise won't 'associate' with me. I have a baby daughter now and I think it's driving her nuts that she can't see her more often. Hey, that's her problem not mine and certainly no reason for me to go crawling back to a religion that I don't agree with.
So, anyway, didn't intend for this to turn into a novel. It's so nice to finally find others like me! Happy to be joining you all!
Redskymedic