I FELT THE SAME WAY ive only been out for about a month.as all the fine posts here have encouraged you to find peace wiyh yourself i will say it can happen.Read crisus of conscience by Ray Franz ex gb member.Then read in search of christian freedom,his second book.
What it did for me was proove all the falsehoods the jws teach.No doubt in my mind that they only care about promoting that corporation.It didnt make me hate them(close)but it really gave me the assurance that they are just men and there is no divine guidance through them or anyone else for that matter.
If you read those books closely(i read each twice) i think you will start to see that organised religion was not what jesus or true christians ever promoted. i know youre reading coc now,I would read it again and then get the next book.Fight the urge to join another church group,because you will start the cycle over again.
I too had the urge to pray to jesus,but i know at least according to the nt bible that worship belongs to God.And as someone said since no one actually knows the name of God calling him Jehovah is ok.Its as close as we have and i dont think He is going to mind.Im going to have to get some other translations so i can compare.ive read a lot of the changes theyve made to the bible at freeminds.com.
It makes me think about them as being the one talked about (Satan transforms himself into an angel of light)I have a large family (4) kids and i am slowly teaching them the things that ive learned. Its going to take time,but you know what? they are young and there will be plenty of time they are good kids and i dont think i should force or shove anything down their throats.So we will read a little together and talk about real life more.I can see my older ones are relieved already.
Its the holidays i have to figure out next.........What everybody here says is true, once you decide you dont need anyone else for salvation you will feel the weight of stress drop or at least lessen. Good luck to you.(we havent said good luck in a while huh?)