I don't think this applies only to JW men and women, nor does it apply to every man or woman in any place either. Not every man wants a woman 20 years younger and not every woman sets her sights on men 20 years older. What I do believe, is that JW's are socially stunted if raised in the society and when they play by the rules, they have no dating experience. They get married because they feel they have to and often pick one of the girls in their own congregation - and often not because they love them but because they need to get married and any good sister will do. Ditto for the good sisters - they look to the potential of being married to an Elder so are willing to compromise. Fast forward 20 years and you might find that Elder xxxx or Sister yyy have matured and recognize why they got married and why they remain together and one or the other must make a choice on what path to take in the future. Who can judge? Nothing is as easy as it would appear to others, so I don't think most men or women just jump ship whenever they get the urge. I think the reasons are complex, but that our own experiences sometimes perhaps lend us a hand up on the judgement ladder when others appear to fall short. sammieswife.
sammielee24
JoinedPosts by sammielee24
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Jehovahs witness men who trade old wives in for new....
by candidlynuts inhow prevalent was this in your area?
jw man in good standing, elders, ministerial servants, all levels, i have seen them trade off their old wife and marry a younger woman.
they might get df'd for a year or so but eventually return and get all their priveleges back , only difference is they have a new woman on their arm.. the old wife usually has to move to another kingdom hall or accept the new couple being in her face all the time.
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divorce
by luffy inhow would somebody argue the jw doctrine that a divorced person cannot remarry a jw unless "scripturally" divorced..ive looked through the bible scriptures on this and find it hard to argue the jw interpretation although i would be really grateful for any arguments against the jw interpretation on this that could hold water!!
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sammielee24
clc - the answer is yes.
I know of a few people who separated and although NOT exactly sanctioned by the watchtower, it was understood to be acceptable. Not shunned by anyone. Then after a year or more of being alone and still legally bound,( which has all sorts of complications in itself because as long as one is legally married one is still responsible financially and this can be a HUGE issue) and no chance of ever reconciling, the one party files for divorce legally. Immediate shunning from everyone, including family and 'so called' friends.
I know of one person right now who is being denied reinstatement specifically for having divorced the mate and remarrying an unbeliever and the clear intent is to NEVER allow reinstatement. The sad part is that by those hate filled actions, those who wield this power have effectively terminated ALL communication with every member of the persons family until the day they die - because they will not associate with a disfellowshipped one.
If he won't get a divorce and move on - you will have to do it. Obviously you haven't been introduced to his family and friends have you? because if you had been, I would think he would have been forced to end it all right there and then. If you are not a JW - YOU ARE NOT A PERSON to them. I hate to be crude but I can only equate it to the Muslim that believes dog saliva is revolting - any good witness is taught that 'being' with a worldly person is equally a revolting. sammieswife.
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divorce
by luffy inhow would somebody argue the jw doctrine that a divorced person cannot remarry a jw unless "scripturally" divorced..ive looked through the bible scriptures on this and find it hard to argue the jw interpretation although i would be really grateful for any arguments against the jw interpretation on this that could hold water!!
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sammielee24
I told him I had and if he persued it I was gone. He told me he was just interested in learning and I stupidly believed him even though I was aware of the whole brainwashing recruitment set up applied by jws. To cut a long story short, the same week my divorce became final he announced he was getting baptised which he has since
I think this says it all. Despite your misgivings, he chose not to consider you in his decision - which is fine for anyone to do as an individual, but as a couple, it speaks to the amount of respect he was already showing you. I feel badly for you. I have to believe you ended your marriage because it was not healthy and the sad fact is, that now that he's a baptized witness, his affair with you as a wordly woman will be seen as a bad mistake. He didn't know better cos he was just an unbeliever at the time - but now he's saved. Too much prejudice, hatred and judgement in there for me - the watchtower is like a civilized version of the Taliban to me. sammieswife.
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divorce
by luffy inhow would somebody argue the jw doctrine that a divorced person cannot remarry a jw unless "scripturally" divorced..ive looked through the bible scriptures on this and find it hard to argue the jw interpretation although i would be really grateful for any arguments against the jw interpretation on this that could hold water!!
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sammielee24
Onthewayout - I do agree with you on the fading and can comprehend the whys and wherefores of those issues but only if someone is a witness and choosing to remain one would they care? Perhaps this is the case here, but then it begs the question of what they are doing here and more importantly, asking a question they would know the answer to? Perhaps the poster will enlighten us. sammieswife.
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divorce
by luffy inhow would somebody argue the jw doctrine that a divorced person cannot remarry a jw unless "scripturally" divorced..ive looked through the bible scriptures on this and find it hard to argue the jw interpretation although i would be really grateful for any arguments against the jw interpretation on this that could hold water!!
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sammielee24
I'm with Gary on this one - who the heck cares? If a person's divorced they can marry anyone they want. The ridiculous levels of 'worthiness' that the WT puts on people is insane and if someone wants to play by those rules I guess they can swallow a prozac, be happy and join the fray. Quite frankly - all this crud about someone being 'able' to do this or that according to what the WT says is just that - something to be flushed down the loo. After all - how many people sitting in those same seats at the KH - that beautiful bastion of cleanliness according to the WT - do in fact act in the same manner as all the worldy people they accuse of being swine? The answer is all - they are all human. I can only guess that if God is in fact up there and watching all this, he is either laughing his butt off or shaking his head in disbelief at the foollishness of it all. I'm not feeling overly generous toward the society at this moment - not that they deserve my generosity anyway..but there it is. sammieswife.
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Stories of JWs Suicides
by new boy innot wanting to highjack hoping4change thread..........it might be a good thing to share some of these sad stories in more detail.. i know of 4..............2 at bethel!.
1 richard wheelock pressroom overseer for over 40 years.............it was after his death (jumping out a window at the farm) that the society soften their stand on suicides............they now might have a resurrection hope.......that was kind of god to change his/her mind....yes the light gets brighter!.
2. james olson jumped out of the factory building # 4 oct. 31 1973.............they wouldn't let him leave.
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sammielee24
In some way I feel that by posting the names of all those JW's who committed suicide, we validate their existence. Too often those who have taken their lives, end up being nothing more than fodder for gossip or ashes for judgement, whispered and conjectured about. They were people who lived.. my heart goes out to all of you who have suffered for those losses. sammieswife.
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Interesting Times
by sammielee24 ini guess the details come down today some time.
the figure i've heard tossed around are doctors taxed at 2% and employers taxed at 4% of payroll if insurance is not provided but i don't know if that is true.. apparently there will be no more refusal to cover anyone either - interesting times ahead for all.. .
schwarzenegger unveils $12b universal health planeast bay business times - 3:00 pm pst mondayby timothy robertsa $12 billion health plan aimed at covering all californians was introduced by governor arnold schwarzenegger on monday.
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sammielee24
I guess the details come down today some time. The figure I've heard tossed around are doctors taxed at 2% and employers taxed at 4% of payroll if insurance is not provided but I don't know if that is true.. Apparently there will be no more refusal to cover anyone either - interesting times ahead for all.
Schwarzenegger unveils $12B universal health plan
East Bay Business Times - 3:00 PM PST Monday by Timothy Roberts
A $12 billion health plan aimed at covering all Californians was introduced by Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger on Monday.
Under the governor's plan, employers would have to either offer their employees health insurance or they would have to pay into a state fund that would be used to assist people in buying their own insurance. At the same time, insurance companies could not reject applicants because of existing illness.
The governor's plan also would cover illegal aliens.
"I know this is controversial, but federal law requires us to treat anyone who shows up at an emergency room in need of care," Schwarzenegger said. "So, the decision for my team was do we treat them in emergency rooms at the highest cost available or do we do it right and do it efficiently?''
The plan was greeted warmly by Democrats in the legislature, whose approval would be necessary for any bill to pass.
"The governor's proposal to cover all kids in California is a prime example of the kind of 'post-partisan' attitude he spoke of in his inaugural speech," Assembly Budget Chairman John Laird, D-Santa Cruz, said in a statement after the governor released his plan. "His proposal is far-sighted and mirrors what Democrats proposed in last year's budget--a concept supported by more than 80 percent of Californians."
The governor's plan may please business interests, who have generally opposed a "pay or play" approach as an unfair burden. And insurance companies may not like another provision that requires that 85 percent of premium revenues be spent on patient care, not administration.
Doctors may be pleased to learn, however, that under the governor's plan MediCal reimbursements for doctors would increase significantly.
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question re a jw marrying a non jw???
by nelly1 ini left the org a few years ago but my friend in the org wants me to go to her wedding she is marrying a non jw, she has been councelled for seeing him and is on reproof, they dont know she is going to marry him shes not telling them till after, all her family are jw some are going, its a civil ceremony, will they df her if she marries him?.
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sammielee24
was an elder for 21 years and worked along with many body of elders and never tried to make anybodies life miserable if they married a non-beleiver.
I know of a JW who is being denied reinstatement because he married an unbeliever so don't kid yourself - it's happened before and it's still happening. sammieswife.
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BREAKING NEWS! U.S. Launches Attack In Somalia!
by SWALKER innow we're fighting in africa:.
http://today.reuters.com/news/articlenews.aspx?type=topnews&storyid=2007-01-09t000337z_01_n08415011_rtrukoc_0_us-somalia-qaeda-report.xml&wtmodloc=newshome-c1-topnews-6.
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sammielee24
Have you ever read the book - How the Other Half Lives by Jacob Riis? At the time when thousands upon thousands were living in the slums of New York, 12 families living in one house and paying greedy, slum landlords for the privilege of doing so, dying by the hundreds and living in houses along with hogs, political corruption and croniism was then at its best - there still ran ads in the local papers to donate to the unfortunate in Africa. Interesting this was written in the 1880's, yet one has to wonder at the parallels - the people were able to ignore the wretched and poor amongst them, while contributing to those charities they deemed worthy of their charity. It's like a can of worms has been opened up with the war in Iraq and now the can has become a keg of writhing, multiplying, smothering mess on the verge of explosion. sammieswife.
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"Ashley Treatment" keeps severely disabled girl from growing
by Fe2O3Girl inthis news story came out today and i was surprised that we haven't had a lively discussion about it.
it brought to mind some of the ideas we discussed on the "is circumcision child abuse?
" thread.. ashley is now 9 years old.
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sammielee24
It prevents the person from experienceing things they are not mentally able to handle...In my humble opinion. It is a tough one though.
In working with challenged individuals, I recall one woman who was mentally on a level with about a 6 year old. There were things she could do for and by herself, but physical growth was something that was difficult for her to deal with so that despite the best and most patient of teachings about the menstrual cycle and periods, she freaked out when she started her period at 14. I don't mean simply freaking out, I mean, totally losing it because she could not comprehend what was happening to her. She was sedated and hospitalized for almost a month but afterward there were severe lapses for her. Ultimately she ended up pregnant at about 19 and again, could not cope and did not understand what having a baby really was. She went into labour on the street, the baby was put into foster care immediately and later adopted out. She spent the rest of her short life having nightmares about what happened and much of that time she was in a mental health facility. I'm sure the decision the parents made was not without a great deal of thought. sammieswife.