Posts by TheListener

That is just the sort of thing dubs need to relieve the pressure. They need to know they're right and reinforce each other. Otherwise they have nothing.

38

transcript of a disfellowship appeal meeting -they can get you for anything

by jwfacts in

i have just received the transcript of the disfellowship appeal meeting from a person i know from a recording he took.

it is quite typical in the condescension of the elders.

unfortunately he did not record the initial meeting.

TheListener

Wow. That about sums up most judicial meetings. Appeal or not.

Although I'm surprised they didn't produce a bunch of explicit pornographic images and ask him which kind he masturbated to in the past.

17

Elders Closing In....an update

by diamondblue1974 in

well an elder finally rang, and sure enough it was one particular elder i was close to when i was a dub; i still do have a lot of time for him personally as he is genuine.

all the same however, hes a company man and i am a great believer that the person who is going to betray (if at all) will often will be the one you least expect it from.

i think it was him predominantly because he/they thought his call could be disarming.. well, i spoke to him very briefly, and in that time he tried to get my address off me on several occasions - he tried to ascertain when it would be most convenient to call (to which i was non committal) but careful not to do anything which could put my relationship with my mother at jeopardy.

TheListener

Sounds like you do a great job; on the phone with the elder and with your mother.

It seems like a good idea to discuss the potential of your getting df'd or da'd with her to prepare her for it. It also gives her mind time to prepare to continue in communication with you if the congregation does take action. She can always reason within herself that they unfairly df'd you for asking questions.

Given half a chance most dubs will break some of the rules. They just need to be able to keep it secret and justify it to themselves.

31

Marage in trouble,

by Heavy Hearted in

hi have a problem and am in need of help.

long story short my wife was one when we met, then she quit to be with me, now she has recently started to witnessing again.

and our marage has suffered extreamly because of it.

TheListener

welcome heavy hearted.

You have come to the right place. there are many here who can empathize with you and share experiences. Most of all there is never a lacking for excellent advice.

Did you know when she left for you that she still believed it and would one day go back? it's important to think about that because it will help you strategize.

Has something emotional happened in her life to precipitate this return?

how much of a student is she? Does she know all the witness answers or must she look them up or call her study conductor?

i have limited time online but i am willing to help out.

10

Saw some JW's 'witnessing' in my area - had some questions ready

by cyberdyne systems 101 in

jw
friends

i saw some witnoids i know from my former congregation, recruiting across the road from me yesterday.

i was hoping they would call on me as i'd like to ask a few questions.

firstly i wanted to ask them why historians say the destruction of jerusalem was in 587/586, where as only the dubs say its 607?

TheListener

Ask them to read you a scripture.

Perhaps Matthew 23:8-12. Where Jesus talks about religious titles. Ask them what it means.

You'll see excitement in their eyes. They know you've picked a scripture for which they are ready.

They should (if they know their stuff) explain that yes indeed religious titles are wrong and they don't use them for that very purpose. They'll be all excited to show you how they follow the bible and others don't.

Then tell them how much that bugs you and how right they are!! Tell them that just the other day two mormons came by and called themselves "missionaries" and they have "elders" in their congregations!! Can you believe that!! How anti-biblical.

Follow up before they comment with: 'But I'm glad you don't have titles like that. It's encouraging to see a religion follow the Bible. Maybe I will come to one of your meetings and see that everyone is the same, equal, no missionaries or elders or fathers or reverends or anything. Just like first century christianity."

They'll either bow out at that point or if you have a particularly hardy dub they'll point you to some scriptures where Paul appointed some as elders in the congregations.

If that happens, look at them straight in the eyes and say "are you telling me the Bible contradicts itself!!" like you're all upset with them for implying that.

Then say something like "you aren't trying to tell me that you do have titles are you?"

Finish with some righteous indignation like 'I was excited to see you follow the bible but now I realize you're just like everyone else' and close your door.

I dunno, it seems long when written but in practice it goes fast and their facial expressions are priceless.

10

Saw some JW's 'witnessing' in my area - had some questions ready

by cyberdyne systems 101 in

jw
friends

i saw some witnoids i know from my former congregation, recruiting across the road from me yesterday.

i was hoping they would call on me as i'd like to ask a few questions.

firstly i wanted to ask them why historians say the destruction of jerusalem was in 587/586, where as only the dubs say its 607?

TheListener

You've already stated 3x more knowledge on the subject that they will likely have. The answer to all your questions would be "we'll look that up and get back to you."

Good luck.

87

What if she never leaves JWs? (The interminable waiting period...)

by AuldSoul in

jw
friends

this has nothing to do with whether i love my wife.

i always will.. pragmatically, i have come to the devastating conclusion that i don't want to be married to a jw.

any jw.. she asked me last night, "so, do you believe in santa clause, now?

TheListener

(((((man hug))))))

You know you're one of my best friends. I can't stand to see you going through this. It's not much consolation, but remember, you are not alone. The disappointment, the dings, the disapproving looks, the smugness they exude when they just know they're right about everything - these are things I experience (apparently many here do/have).

No relationship can survive without - boundaries. It is unfair for a parent, child, spouse, workmake, stranger, etc to cross your boundaries. It's your job to set those boundaries and kindly let others know where they are. Some boundaries are taken for granted - we don't stare over or under a public bathroom stall door for example. Other boundaries are subjective and depend largely upon the individual setting the boundary. As JWs boundaries are not respected. Raised in the truth or converted make no difference. One of the things that makes high control groups work is the loss of individual boundaries.

Do some research on boundaries. Possibly even see a therapist that can assist you. Do this before talking to your wife. Perhaps the talk with your wife should be about this very subject. Since you can't study the Bible together offer talking about relationships and boundaries. There is some really good information on this subject. Let her know what is acceptable and what isn't. After your talk make sure you let her kindly know when she crosses a boundary. It takes time.

Auld, you love her. You know she loves you. That isn't always enough but it makes for a good foundation. Your relationship is worth fighting for. Boundaries aren't a magic cure all but it may help refocus the relationship lens off emotional blackmail and sarcastic quips.

PM me whenever you want. I'll try to call later today.

19

epistle to the Ephesians

by Ade in

i am searching for a few people ( actually as many as can be had ) to start commenting on a verse by verse basis books of the bible - basically a full online bible study starting, for no particular reason with ephesians, if you are interested please leave a message here or contact me via pm.

.

ade .

TheListener

pm me please

21

My Ex is suicidal, apparently

by dmouse in

jw
friends

some of you might remember my story from years ago - how i became an 'apostate' which effectively ended my marriage of 20 years.

how my wife subjected me to intense psychological abuse when i left 'the truth'.. my son ben, whom i love deeply, left when he was dragged into the back room and told he was being used by satan to corrupt the congregation (he was only15) because he was gay.. my dearest middle daughter charlotte, who has more common sense than all of us put together, 'left' on her 14th birthday.

she was dragged out of the house in her bare feet to be taken to the meeting, and because i intervened i spent the next year on a camp bed in the front room.. in the end, i could not stand the abuse and left.

TheListener

I remember Dmouse. Your story scared the poop out of me when I was first having doubts. I was sure I would be divorced and/or living on the sofa until I was kicked out or had to leave.

I'm proud of the stand you took for your own happiness. It also makes me feel good to know that your children have made wise choices too.

It gives me hope for my children.

Hang in there.

I don't know your situation completely, but perhaps if you feel it is the right thing to do, offer your wife a helping hand. Only you know the best thing to do though.

Good luck to you and your children. Perhaps introducing your daughter to jwd, under your supervision when possible, will give her some of the association she needs. Then again, at 15 maybe isn't the right age. just brainstorming.