People are judgmental, this is a fact.
In fact it is a human quality that allows people to grow and become better throughout there lives. We judge what happens and log it away for future use. Often times these things are so subconscious that an automatic trigger forms and we simply react to a new situation based upon “something inside” which tells us what is happening.
If we get burned by a hotplate, then forever we judge hotplates to be at least somewhat of a danger to our skin. After a car accident at a particular intersection, we will for a long time judge that intersection as a hazard.
This is GOOD!
Where judgmentalism becomes a problem is in reference to other people. The problem here is that unlike a hotplate or a needle or a particular area, no two people are EVER the same!
Human beings rarely do anything with a simple, single motive. Unless we do something out of pure instinct and extremely rapidly, we have time to think and our motivations become complex.
When we judge others, what we are saying is not that they have done something wrong, but that we know there thinking processes and we can predict from that what they will do again. But we cannot.
None of us are proficient enough mind readers to be able to judge each motive, its strength and at what times those motives will occur again.
Whilst we can make generalisations and these can serve to protect us and our families, if not kept in check, these can seriously impair our growth as people.
Judgmental people always believe that they are not being judgmental. However a simple test is this.
If you feel that you understand their motives and that you are pretty sure you know what they will do in any circumstances, you had better have more than one reference to go by.
As an example, if a young boy starts a fire, do you judge him to be a pyromaniac and do you refer to him as such? If so you are reinforcing an opinion upon him and he will likely live up to that expectation, especially if you are his parent. If however he has done it several times, then your generalisation of HIM as a “pyromaniac” may be correct.
BUT, if you then see another child behave in a similar way and start one fire, you are being negatively judgmental to assume that he too is a “pyromaniac”. This is when judgmentalism becomes serious enough to impair YOU!
BugEye