I don't know if many of those reading this have been able to keep some measure of faith without the organizational mess, but if so, I'd appreciate some advice. I feel like I want to find another religious community, obviously one a little less likely to do the shunning thing. Is it even possible for ex-JWs to go to a regular church after all the Bible 'training' we've had? I don't think I can accept the Trinity or Hellfire or any of that. I'm not even sure I can accept religion at all after being told again and again that there's only one true faith. Having rejected that, what are we left with?
I know where you are at... Allot of us go through this when we leave the org. I didn't believe any other religion had the truth after being a JW. I actually still don't believe any one religion has the truth per say. I was lost for quite some time and I just avoided religion, God and the Bible because I kept thinking all I would see was that the JWs were right and what I was doing was wrong.
I do not feel that way anymore. Actually, the longer I am away the more I see that the Bible, in my opinion, differs from the belief system of the JWs in many ways. Personally, I find it hard to grasp the fact that I ever believed they had the truth when I read the Bible now.
Examples:
Bible says not to eat the blood or fat of a sacrificed animal. For some reason I thought that JWs saying you could have blood parts but not red blood cells had anything to do with what the Bible says. Not so... I don't see blood broken down into parts in the Bible, I don't see the Bible saying you cannot accept a life saving blood transfusion from a human being, I don't see the Bible saying you cannot store your own blood for future use, etc. The JWs have really stretched this belief and why do they even try to take the blood part literally when they don't even consider not eating fat? Besides, the Bible was talking about the blood of a sacrificed animal. How is that the same as the blood of a human being? How does not eating blood translate to not having a transfusion containing red blood cells? Just doesn't make sense...
The Bible says that all should partake of the wine and bread representing Jesus' flesh and blood. All should benefit from his sacrifice. It also says this should be done until the Son of Man arrives. For some reason I thought that JWs saying that only 144,000 should partake, only 144,000 benefit from the covenant with the Christ and that Christ had somehow already come but yet they still celebrate the Memorial was truth. I don't believe they come even close to practicing what Jesus said we should practice with respect to the Memorial and his coming. It bothers me that so many JWs are actually rejecting his sacrifice and what it means for them by not partaking.
The Bible says that Jesus ate with tax collectors and prostitutes and yet somehow JWs justify disfellowshipping people and saying that their family members cannot even eat a meal with them. How is this scriptural? How does this coincide with Jesus being approachable to all.
I have been reading Crisis of Conscience and it has really been helping me to see how much blood guilt that organization really has. They have messed up peoples lives so badly and yet they have made no apologies for it. They are just another manmade religion and when you can accept that then you can take what you want and leave the rest behind. This is what I do with any religion or belief system I am exposed to now. I have broken free from the mentality that I must agree with someone when it comes to what the Bible says, what God wants or what Jesus taught us.
I think religion can be good for those who want fellowship and it can inspire you but I do not believe there is any one religion that will give you all the truth. The fact of the matter is that there are so many opinions out there that we just need to sort through them all and take what we believe to be truth. The JWs are just another religion. The only thing is they enforce the fact that you must agree with them. You must accept what they tell you as truth. It's called mind control and there are other religions that are not this way.
I just try to read the Bible for myself now. I have a relationship with God separate from religion and I study with my children a bit each day helping them to form their own beliefs, opinions and relationship with God. I don't believe God meant for it to be complicated. There are many books such as "The Daily Book of Devotions" that can help you to get something out of the Bible each and every day and you do not need to agree with all of what they say.
I for one do not believe the Trinity in a sense that I do not believe that God, Jesus and the Holy Spirit need to be combined into one being in any way. I do believe they all stem from the same source though. I do not worship Jesus or the Holy Spirit as though they were the same thing as the Almighty God but I do believe they are necessary to have a relationship with God and I believe Jesus was the perfect representation of God on earth.
I also do not believe in hellfire and I do not believe that a loving God is going to kill all those who do not agree with Jehovah's Witnesses. God is loving and merciful and his kindness is undeserved thanks to Jesus and his sacrifice. I trust that God knows who we are and he loves each and every one of is for the goodness in our hearts. How could he turn on someone wanting to worship him but not being sure how to properly do so? I don't think he will.
I think it's possible to love God, to love your neighbor, to recognize the signifigance of Jesus's sacrifice, to allow the Holy Spirit to guide you and influence you, to be a good person and to show appreciation for God and all he has done in the way we live our lives and in how raise our families. I do not believe religion is necessary to do so. There are many experiences in the Bible where God's followers had a relationship with him separate from religion.
Ok... Off my soap box now. Hang in there and you will eventually see that there is spirituality and truth separate from JWs. It's a much more loving existence separate from all their rules, judgements and mind control.
This however would have an adverse effect on my wife, who is babtised, and was previously disfellowshipped. That experience nearly killed her and I don't want to risk it happening again. Also, I kind of like the in-laws and I'm not looking forward to being tarnished with the apostate brush. My wife has a 10-year-old niece who is baptised, and I'm guessing she has some difficult years ahead. I'd like us to have an opportunity to be there for her and not be isolated from the family again. Going to the ocassional meeting isn't easy but I could probably tolerate it. However, I'm not done with my Bible study... we have 3 chapters left in the Knowledge book, and they (an elder and his wife) want to study the Worship God book with us next. That, I'm not sure I can tolerate. Is there any way of ending this without being looked upon as one who is rejecting the truth? I feel I'm compromising my conscience by pretending, but I don't know how to leave without damaging the familial relationship, and possibly my marriage. My wife has asked me not to be truthful if I do end the study, because she knows she would come under inspection, and frankly she's thinking similarly, knowing that the organization is not after all under Jehovah's direction.
Personally, I do not see a need for you to share anything you are feeling with the elders or the other brothers and sisters. If you wish to discontinue your study it does not mean you need to provide a reason for doing so. All you need to do is let them know you would prefer not to continue studying. You can continue going if you like and there is no reason you need to justify your lack of study with anyone. You do not need to voice your disagreement with teachings. Take what you agree with and ignore the rest. I know it's hard but for your wife's sake it sounds like you can do that. You are not baptized and you are not required to be. Your relationship with God is your personal business. You are doing your wife a favor by not getting baptized if you do not agree with their teachings. Much better for her to be with you as a worldy person associating than to be with a baptized apostate who leaves. Sticking around will allow you to gradually reason with your wife and maybe she will eventually decide she no longer believes they are teaching the truth either.
