Posts by moanzy

34

Double Standards?

by OpenFireGlass in

talk about a dysfunctional family life.... did anyone else experience growing up in a dub family that had a double standard for siblings?.

my younger sister was allowed too: have new kids on the block posters on her wall, as well as gotten taken to a nkotb concert... have & play a keyboard.

pick her own music, & have a boom box in her room.

My step-dad treated his kids very different than he treated myself and my sisters. He was terribly mean and scarry!! We couldn't date, he scrutinized our clothes, makeup and things like that, had curfews even when I didn't live at home.

While his boys when they were teen-agers were drunks and partiers. They didn't have curfews. My step-dad even watched very R-rated movies with them. With us girls we weren't even allowed to watch Superman.

Sorry you got the bum end in your family. My sisters had it even worse than myself.----could be why my oldest sister has disappeared not wanting to be found.

Moanzy

13

strange prayers!!!

by siy in

jw
friends

ok iv not been on for so long.

ok what are some of the strangest prayers you said amen to.

not the hole preyer but some stuff you thought at the time.

moanzy

eeeew! Now I'm grossed out.

Moanzy

13

strange prayers!!!

by siy in

jw
friends

ok iv not been on for so long.

ok what are some of the strangest prayers you said amen to.

not the hole preyer but some stuff you thought at the time.

moanzy

I can only wonder Scully. Our congregation was FULL of self-righteous and hypocritical people. I would swear that they would open their eyes to check on other peoples children so they give you a good disciplining after.

Moanzy

13

strange prayers!!!

by siy in

jw
friends

ok iv not been on for so long.

ok what are some of the strangest prayers you said amen to.

not the hole preyer but some stuff you thought at the time.

moanzy

My step-dad was from Quebec and spoke French fluently so he often said the prayer at home in french. I have no idea what his prayers were about, but said amen anyway.

Some of the long winded brothers at the hall use to make me mad with their looong prayers. I couldn't keep my eyes closed for too long without losing my balance. Then at assemblies it was even worse because there was nothing to hang onto. Those old biddies that would give you a dirty look if you had your eyes open made you feel like you were so disrespectful.

Other than that I can't remember any really strange prayers just stupid ones.

Moanzy

18

What leaving really means

by under_believer in

jw
friends

recently my family had occasion to attend a function held in our honor, an event commemorating a certain achievement.

it was thrown by close relatives, witnesses all.

it included parents, grandparents, cousins, siblings, auties and uncles.

moanzy

It's such a hard and so unfair decision to have to make. I think most of us struggled with realizing how our choice of leaving this org would cost us our families and any of the good that comes with extended family.

I didn't make this choice lightly and infact found it very hard to finally hand my family their religion back to them. It's now been almost 3 years and I have to say that it has still been worth all the pain of living without family.

My family while very disfunctional was still my family. Getting away from the religion and family was bitter sweet. It was a relief, but it hurt so much. I think the hurt stems from being treated worse than evil when all I did was not want their religion.

The freedom though is like nothing I've ever experienced. Not having to feel guilt for so many meaningless things like meeting attendance, service etc and just looking after my family and my own needs.

I hope this helps you some.

Moanzy

33

Why can we LOSE our Religion, but not LOSE it's effects on us?

by gumby in

another thread inspired by me chatting with our sweet little mary.... we who have exited the jehovahs witnesses religion, are now convinced we made the right move.

most of us have no doubt this religion is a destructive, cultlike religion that we wouldn't wish on anybody....and yet,.

....we still suffer the effects it had on us.

moanzy

Garybuss, sometimes I think we had the same parents. My parents didn't teach us coping skills, life skills essential to living happily and successfully or how to critically think. Nothing!!!! It was "the answer is in the book". If you answered correctly then apparently you were doing just fine.

After leaving the witnesses I've not only had to tear apart the religious beliefs I was taught to believe as correct and from God, I had to start learning BASIC life skills I should have been learning from childhood to adulthood.

I had to first identify what my problems were since in my mind it was just one big muddled mess of problems with no beginning and no end. Then after that I had to find ways of not only coping, but being able to put them into words I could understand and convey to others in order to get appropriate help.

Now I'm at the place where I am able to experiment with skills I've learned in order to manage real life. At the same time I am trying to recognize when old habits of my JW thinking come up so that I can actively change some of my reactions. I don't know what age this puts me at, but at least I'm working at it.

It is such a long process for those of us that grew up with no-minds for parents. I feel my parents stunted any normal growth in me because they found it easier to just keep me stupid.

Thanks MOM!!!

Moanzy

29

Brainwashed Children

by I-follow-the-narrow-path in

jw
friends

i noticed an elder showed a picture of "paradise" and asked "who are the people dipicted"... .

serveral children answered and said the same thing "they (look like they) are witnesses" -- .

it was as if these children were taught that only jws are right... which they probably were.

moanzy

I was taught that all the worldly people would die at armageddon unless they accepted the "truth". The funny thing is that I couldn't quite understand why God would destroy

these nice people when our home life was a living hell. It was hard to understand how these people who had nice kids and good families, but celebrated pagan holidays would

be destroyed by God, but our family that was violent would be saved because we had the RIGHT religion. I may have accepted what I was taught, but I certainly couldn't explain

it.

Moanzy

89

What are you reading?

by damselfly in

now that i'm done with school for the summer i've got some spare time to read as much as i like.

heaven!

i just finished "sylvanus now" by donna morrisey.

moanzy

I'm about to start The Davinci Code-Dan Brown

Then I've got Soul Signs-Rosemary Altea, A New Earth-Eckhart Tolle, Genesis of the Grail Kings-Laurence Gardner. After that I want to check out the Kaballa.

I read that book the Red Tent and it is so good. I cried in it!! I was thinking "Oh Dinah, I so know how you feel" It's amazing how you can be so affected by some of these characters.

Moanzy

49

Say something horrible.............but true about your kids ..............

by vitty in

jw
friends

although, the complaints may be valid and sad.

many posters here have vented about their wicked parents.. i think its time we parents have a post dedicated to saying something horrid about our kids.

it maybe something you have wanted to say about them that was in the past or happening now.

moanzy

These stories are scaring me!! My kids are hell on wheels already and they are only 7,4,3.

I don't know what I will do when they hit teen age years when they already reflect the teen attitudes.

My 7yr old is sassy and little miss princess around here. We try with her, so hard, but she still thinks she is intitled to the best and everything. She will compare our house with other peoples. Finally I told her "who cares!".

My 4 yr old will attack people when she gets pissed off. She will tell people she is going to kick their asses. And she literally climbs walls, destroys the house--every room, cupboard, drawer etc.

My 3 yr old is basically a smaller version of the 7yr old. Except she claims to never do anything wrong.

Yes we have some little hellians, but by September, 2 will be in school and I'm so looking forward to it.

I pray to God that my kids will turn out not too bad. So far they have tested every opinion I've had on how to raise kids and I'm finding "you never know what yer goin to get"

Moanzy

40

Another JW Suicide

by orangefatcat in

jw
friends

yes last thursday a young brother who was in the same hall as me but in the other cong.

and he was 29, a newborn baby and a 2or 3 year old and young wife committed suicide.

was killed here in our town of newmarket by a train.

moanzy

Wasanelder Once,

I know that it is not healthy to blame others including the organisation for suicide. I do believe that they must take some responsibility for the unhealthy attitudes toward seeking professional help like psychiatrists.

Just before I da'd this last time, I was getting councelling for depression. The elders came to visit me because they were concerned that I may be getting unhealthy advice from my councelor. They told me that I should be careful and that the society doesn't recommend this type of thing unless it is really necessary. On top of that they told me " You need to be careful what you say so as not to put Jehovah's Witnesses in a bad light".

I felt GUILTY for making a healthy choice! With my long history of depression, I wonder if they classified my case as minor and were waiting for me to actually commit suicide before it would have been acceptable for me to get help.

Why is it that after the fact, when it's really too late, the society recognizes that some need this help? Why is it that my family (I know mine isn't the only one) were not happy to seek professional help for me when I clearly needed it?

This is why I do believe the society should shoulder much responsibility for the mental state of people in the congregations. The ones that have a chemical balance or an inheritance factor is not their fault, but if they are discouraging these ones from getting the professional help they need then YES they are responsible for the end result. The ones like myself that don't have a chemical imbalance or an inheritance factor that could easily have been helped with some councelling, but because of the societys dislike for psychiatrists couldn't get the help needed, again YES the society is responsible for the end result.

I don't hold the society responsible for me anymore because I finally took on responsibility for my own life and health. The result from that choice is that I lost my WHOLE family. I do hold the society responsible for that part though.

Moanzy