I am glad there is a warning system to keep us alert, but I feel it is important to keep it all in perspective as well. Enough has happened recently to warrant the alert. But it is just that - be alert, watch for anything suspicious and go on with our lives. The chances of being injured/killed because of a terrorist act are so slim - we are in more danger each and every time we back our cars out of our driveways. We all use our cars on a daily basis and don't give it a second thought that we have things to do and places to be. Why should something that is far less of a personal threat cause major changes in routine? I look at it as "Whatever will be, will be" and my family and I have a life to live in the meantime. Terror is not just the threat of physical harm. It is also mental/emotional. Terrorists have succeeded if we allow ourselves to be controlled by what might happen, or what we are afraid might happen. Maybe I have a naive way of looking at it, but it keeps me sane! I cannot worry about that which I cannot control. (note: this is my personal opinion and how I choose to view the issue and not meant in any way to invalidate or slight how anyone else chooses to view this matter)
caligirl
JoinedPosts by caligirl
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14
Threat Level AGAIN raised in US
by Shakita inthe terrorist threat level is now back to orange (high) again.. what do we do this time?
last time we were told to go out and buy duct tape and disaster supplies.
http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/articles/a15503-2003may20.html?nav=hptop_tb.
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14
July convention coming
by the mole in***the mole*** i have to report the july assembly is coming.
a letter read to us last thursday advised us to stay at recommended hotels only.
we were told by the governing body that those who do not stay at recommend places are on a path to rebellion.
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caligirl
Haven't they always recommended that people stay at hotels off the list only because of all the wonderful hard work done by such hard working bethel brothers to procure special lower rates for these weekends? I have not been to a meeting in almost 7 years, and I remember hearing the same thing every single year over and over along with the blah blah blah of how to conduct oneself at the hotels and out on the town.
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15
Self confidence
by joelbear inanyone who has read my history of posts knows that one of my struggles is trying to find and build self confidence.. what is it about being a jw that can tear down someone's self confidence?.
i'm a smart guy.
i have a 4.0 gpa.
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caligirl
I think that low self esteem/confidence can be caused by many things. When an active witness, we hear constantly that we are not doing enough to be acceptable. You got 5 hours, and that's good, but you are not good enough if you don't make that 10 next time, etc. it is easy to accept after being raised with that that they are right. Add that to the pressure of having to be different at school, at work, personal stressors and you have a great breeding ground for a low opinion of ones worth in the world.
For me the first step was leaving behind the witness way of thinking and everything that went with it. Then came recognition of the fact that we all matter, coupled with spending time with genuine friends. We all have our moments of insecurity but a big step for me was learning to recognize that everyone does - some just cover it up better than others. Not one of us is better than another human being - just different, and learning to embrace our differences and accept ourselves for who we are is the first step on the road to recovering the confidence that was public talked out of us to keep us under control and malleable.
It does get better Joel - trust in yourself and your abilities and surround yourself with loving friends.
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25
About the Flag or National Anthem
by pr_capone ini promise that i am not turning into the next minimus with all the damn questions but this is something i have been thinking quite a bit about lately.. as i grew up in the troof... i almost despised it.
what it "stood for".
and the fact that people would "worship" it.
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caligirl
What you said pretty much sums up my feelings. Well put!
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95
Most Annoying "Kingdom song?"
by doodle-v inwhat's a kingdom song you can remember singing that gives you the creeps now?
mine is "move ahead" i think that was the title, anyway it has so much rhetoric... but the tune is so darn catchy.... darn.... in my opinion, those songs are the perfect example of mind control.
move ahead.. move ahead ... blah blah blah blah blah .
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caligirl
I think all of them are annoying, and I have discovered that many bear suspicious resemblance to many musical works written by actual composers, which lowered my opinion of them even more, if that is possible.
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7
Brother (elder) Sister (pioneer) hid my leaving should they be punished
by run dont walk ini left the borg after a 5 year struggle at home.
the best way for me to leave was to move across the country from east to west, (still wasn't far enough), i was unemployed at the time and had no real opportunities, so my girlfriend at the time (not a jo-ho)(who my family never met) and i headed out west.
now, i returned home about 3 years later when my dad past away, and at the funeral, people were coming up to me asking me how the west was and how was my new congregation, can you believe this.
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caligirl
Just a possibility, but maybe they feel that it is none of anyones business what you do with your personal life. Maybe they have not actively perpetuated the myth that you are still in, but have simply let people assume for themselves what they want so as to avoid nosy people who would try to tell them how they should handle their relationship with you.
I say this only because of my situation with my parents. They know that I celebrate holidays, that I no longer beleive it to be true but they do not shun or judge, nor do they tell others in their congregation how I feel. If they tell anyone anything, it is simply that I do not go to meetings(true) - and as I have not formally DA'd or been DF'd they are not, in my opinion, doing anything wrong by keeping my business and theirs private.
Since you live so far away, why stir it up? It is not as if you live close by and are there all the time and if they want to keep your decision to themselves, especially if you have not formally DA'd what is the harm? As you said, they know your situation and have obviously chosen to let it remain family business rather than public knowledge. Again, I am not in your shoes, and may be drawing wrong conclusions, but personally, I would view their not vocalizing your personal life to people who would only judge you to be a caring thing, not a bad thing.
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New experience for me..advice, anyone?
by zanex ini have been out of touch with pretty much all of the old jw's that i used to hang around with while in new mexico.
i have been informed that one of those jw's that oddly enough happens to be related to my roommate that i am currently living with is coming to town and i have also been told that he is trying to leave the org and doesnt want to be any part of it anymore but he still has a lot of family in the religion...another twist anyone?
oh yeah he also is "coming out" he is gay.
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caligirl
I would agree with the advice to let him do the talking - not much risk in lending a listening ear, and you can also point him to the internet to do some sleuthing for himself. The fact that non-witness family members of his know that he wants to leave is probably a good indication that he is serious about his departure - what serious witness would dare let an "outsider" know that they don't want to be there? Bad for future conversions! I wish you the best in whatever discussions you end up having with him. Just be true to yourself and your instincts.
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53
The dumbest thing I did as a witness
by Vivamus inwhen i was 14 or so, my attention got directed to queen.
and i loved them.
i'd save my allowance to buy cd's, posters, books etc from them.
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caligirl
My personal favorite ( and according to my husband a perfect personal anthem for me - particularly the I want it now portion because I can be so impatient!)
I Want It All
Adventure seeker on an empty street,
Just an alley creeper, light on his feet
A young fighter screaming, with no time for doubt
With the pain and anger can`t see a way out,
It ain`t much I`m asking, I heard him say,
Gotta find me a future move out of my way,
I want it all, I want it all, I want it all, and I want it now,
I want it all, I want it all, I want it all, and I want it now,
Listen all you people, come gather round
I gotta get me a game plan, gotta shake you to the ground
Just give me what I know is mine,
People do you hear me, just give me the sign,
It ain`t much I`m asking, if you want the truth
Here`s to the future for the dreams of youth,
I want it all, I want it all, I want it all, and I want it now,
I want it all, I want it all, I want it all, and I want it now,
I`m a man with a one track mind,
So much to do in one life time (people do you hear me)
Not a man for compromise and where`s and why`s and living lies
So I`m living it all, yes I`m living it all,
And I`m giving it all, and I`m giving it all,
It ain`t much I`m asking, if you want the truth,
Here`s to the future, hear the cry of youth,
I want it all, I want it all, I want it all, and I want it now,
I want it all, I want it all, I want it all, and I want it now,
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66
fiancee committed scuicide jw parents trying to steal my babies
by larrynbabies inmy fiancee died on feb24 she was suffering from years of abuse by her alchoholic jw parents.
she first tried to commit scuicide when she was 12 then 2 more times at 16. when she was 15 she snuck out to go to a party when she was raped she was too afraid to tell her parents.
the very next day her jw brother in law molested her.
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caligirl
I am sorry for everything that you have gone through and I cannot imagine the pain you must be feeling. Just a thought, and I hope that the suggestion does not offend you, but have you thought of going to the media with your story? I understand that it might prove painful to share such personal information in the papers, but it would certainly bring public attention to what has happened and possibly some much needed local support for you in this matter.
What a ridiculous law for a state to have that prevented you from being listed on the birth certificate. But now that you have the DNA tests proving paternity, I hope that this is resolved swiftly for you. The fact that you have members of her family willing to testify for you should be a plus.
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26
Did you pioneer?
by JH indid you ever pioneer in your congregation?
i was an aux.
pioneer 4 or 5 months a year when my seasonal job was over.
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caligirl
Never! The thought never even crossed my mind. I watched my mother pioneer from the time I was 10 or 11 ( and she's still doing it) and she was/is miserable doing it, hates it (but won't admit it out loud), but feels obligated. I looked at her one day when I was around 12 and thought that if she was so blasted miserable doing it, why on earth would I want to join her in her misery? Seeing how "happy" she was in her pioneering was all the incentive I needed to know that there was no way that I wanted to go that route. I did the bare minimum that I had to as far as service went because I hated it so much.