evita

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Posts by evita

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  29

  New here....Tired of pain

  by Momma of 2 in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i don't have a lot of time to post at the momment.

  i am a new mother of twin boys...when i get an update picture of both of them together i will use it as my icon..til then you just see jimmy.

  here is a link to my story, it was posted on another wonderful board.. http://p196.ezboard.com/fexjehovahswitnessforumfrm14.showmessage?topicid=377.topic.

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  evita

  Momma of 2
  
  Congratulations on your twins! And Welcome to the board!
  
  Your story broke my heart. You're so young and have gone through so much. I'm sorry your parents can't see past the religion and appreciate their daughter. My mom did the same thing for many years but she did spend time with us after my twins were born. Yes, I also have twin boys and they are almost 12. Twins are so special. At first it is a whole lot of hard work but they are so amazing. I can't imagine life without my boys or their older brother.
  
  Eva
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  36

  Have you ever had a really bad haircut? (rant)

  by restrangled in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  went to a salon today with picture in hand.

  i spent 2/1/2 hours suffering in the chair, (foiling and cut).

  i wound up with about 6 to 7 inches lopped off and came out looking like a big haired, bubble headed 80's special.

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  evita

  Oh yes, this happened to me right after I left the witnesses. I was super depressed and thought a new hairstyle would cheer me up. Went to a new, expensive to me, salon called Bananas. OK, this should have been a clue along with my hairstylist's super short, spiky do. But no, I did not heed the warning signs. I was young and foolhardy.
  
  So I had beautiful, medium length, slightly layered hair. It was a little shaggy and I asked the stylist to give me more shape around my face. She said "OK, put your head down." She then snipped off all my hair up to my ears in one fell swoop. I was nervous but I thought "hey, a new beginning". She then proceeded to give me a boys haircut before I knew what was happening. I started to cry and she said, " I don't need this shit today, let me just finish the cut". One of the other stylists felt sorry for me and gave me a beer!
  
  Being a meek exjw, I paid the bill. To be fair, I got many compliments on my hair. But I felt like a boy and it just wasn't me.
  
  Now, I hardly ever get my hair cut. It looks horrible but I'm terrified after dozens of bad cuts.
  
  Eva
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  10

  Prince's concerts in London

  by juni in

  1. social
  2. entertainment

  apprinceprince will play 21 concerts in london.

  may 8, 12:29 pm est.

  the associated press.

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  evita

  This just burns me up. Prince is "worldly" by JW standards. His music is filled with sexual innuendo, he dresses provocatively, he sets himself up for "idol worship". What more does a guy have to do to get disfellowshipped?
  Most dubs would have the elders after them just for associating with someone like Prince.
  Is it the money? Or is it some public relations ploy so the higher ups can pretend they don't have stringent shunning rules? Or do they just like having a celebrity in their midst?
  I just can't figure this one out. Like Juni said, most witnesses give up so much to remain in good standing.
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  5

  The emotions of leaving

  by Irish Rose in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i have been reading post here and at other webb sites and how ones leaving or in the process of leaving were talking about how scared it is to take this step.

  i thought i would share what i had delt with 6 years ago, this month.

  it was may 2001, my son was in the hospital.

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  evita

  Welcome Irish Rose!
  
  Thanks for sharing your story. I'm sorry you had to be shunned in order to gain your freedom. I know firsthand how painful that can be.
  You're right about having a good support system - it's crucial for emotional survival after leaving the cult.
  
  Glad you joined us and look forward to hearing more from you.
  
  Eva
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  31

  I never have done right by you...

  by Sparkplug in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  in talking to my mom the other day (who is doing so well btw) she turned to me and said straight and as sane as can be, "i have never done right by you, don't do as i have done to you to you kids.

  " she got teary eyed and i changed the subject fast because i did not know how to take it nor could i talk with the big lump in my throat.

  i have known this my whole life, and i don't even speak it as plain as she has spoken it, but hearing out of her mouth as she sits in her wheelchair and knowing she means it from her heart and from pure love, well it messed me up a bit.

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  evita

  When my mother was dying she called me many times crying with regret. I had a similar response to yours. I could not bear it and changed the subject. I knew she had very little time left so I told her I loved her and that the past was the past. But honestly it was just too painful to hear her say those words. In retrospect, I very much regret not letting her say what she needed to say. She was trying to tell me something that I couldn't hear. She said she didn't want to die with a "wall between us". Of course, the wall was the religion and we couldn't go there.
  In the end, all words were meaningless. I just lay down next to her and listened to her heart as I did when I was a child.
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  13

  Lost my father in law

  by Crooked Lumpy Vessel in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  he passed away on sunday.

  he discovered and had removed melanoma from his back in december.

  all seemed well and it was diagnosed that they had removed it successfully.

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  evita

  So sorry to hear of your loss. My mother died 2 years ago, also rather quickly. The shock and grief was so intense. I cried every day for at least a year; my family was very patient and understanding. I talked about my mom constantly and accomplished very little.
  I think bumblebee and journey-on had words of wisdom. You just get through it one day at a time. It helps to eat healthy food, and go for walks. I was in such a fog that I didn't pay attention to my health and gained 20 pounds. Give yourself and your husband permission to grieve for as long as it takes. Try to remember that in time the grief will not be as raw. You will still feel it but it won't be so debilitating.
  My thoughts are with you and your family.
  Eva
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  75

  Were you a "Born-In", or were you "Converted"?

  by Warlock in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i was converted in the early 1980's.. warlock .

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  evita

  I was 13 when my mother began studying.
  I was forced to study and go to meetings which I resisted for a year. Finally gave in as the pressure was so intense and I was miserable. Eventually I became thoroughly indoctrinated and was baptized at 15. Spent my teen years trying to be the perfect witness girl and judging everyone else. Started to wake up at 18 but couldn't get all the way out until my early 20's.
  Even though I've been out for many years, I was profoundly affected by my time "in".
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  70

  Did you have a favorite food at the assemblies (when they sold it there)?

  by kitten whiskers in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  hubby and i got on the topic last night.

  he was wondering what i was eating- a frozen jello pudding cup.

  i remember getting them at the assemblies, especially the hot summer district assemblies.

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  evita

  Almost forgot about the chicken on the squishy white bread. I actually liked that more than the bbq beef.
  
  I loved getting to the assemblies early and having a cheese or apple danish washed down with a nice hot cup of coffee.
  I thought about the food constantly during the talks. What could I eat next? Eating and socializing was the best part of the whole thing.
  
  I always volunteered to work food service because I could miss some of the talks without getting in trouble with my mom.
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  10

  Babel~Made me really sit down hard on my bumm and cry...you?

  by Sparkplug in

  1. social
  2. entertainment

  in the remote sands of the moroccan desert, a rifle shot rings out--detonating a chain of events that will link an american tourist couples frantic struggle to survive, two moroccan boys involved in an accidental crime, a nanny illegally crossing into mexico with two american children and a japanese teen rebel whose father is sought by the police in tokyo.

  separated by clashing cultures and sprawling distances, each of these four disparate groups of people are nevertheless hurtling towards a shared destiny of isolation and grief.

  in the course of just a few days, they will each face the dizzying sensation of becoming profoundly lost--lost in the desert, lost to the world, lost to themselves--as they are pushed to the farthest edges of confusion and fear as well as to the very depths of connection and love.

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  evita

  Sparkplug,
  
  I didn't mean to turn this into a thread about me. Guess I just needed to vent.
  Anyway, thanks for listening and for your kind comments.
  By the way, I just saw another good movie called The Namesake. Not quite as spectacular as Babel, but very good in it's own quiet way.
  
  Hugs, Eva
• 
  10

  Babel~Made me really sit down hard on my bumm and cry...you?

  by Sparkplug in

  1. social
  2. entertainment

  in the remote sands of the moroccan desert, a rifle shot rings out--detonating a chain of events that will link an american tourist couples frantic struggle to survive, two moroccan boys involved in an accidental crime, a nanny illegally crossing into mexico with two american children and a japanese teen rebel whose father is sought by the police in tokyo.

  separated by clashing cultures and sprawling distances, each of these four disparate groups of people are nevertheless hurtling towards a shared destiny of isolation and grief.

  in the course of just a few days, they will each face the dizzying sensation of becoming profoundly lost--lost in the desert, lost to the world, lost to themselves--as they are pushed to the farthest edges of confusion and fear as well as to the very depths of connection and love.

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  evita

  Sparkplug,
  
  Your reply brought up some sad memories for me. After I left the witnesses, my JW mother got remarried to a dub. Even though our relationship had been strained since I left, she called me many times to confide her newfound happiness. My sister and I were invited to the wedding. When we got there my mom was in the back room getting ready. We kissed and congratulated her and went out to be seated only to find out that we were not to be seated in the front with family and close friends, but were escorted to the very back as the hall had filled up by then. I was heartbroken. I think my mom felt bad. As she walked back down the aisle, she gave my sister and me a flower from her bouquet.
  
  I was married a couple of years later. I sent my mom an invitation but she did not respond or attend my wedding. It turned out that her dub hubby was a big control freak. That combined with my mother's fanaticism resulted in us not seeing each other for almost ten years. It completely broke our relationship and we never completely healed from it. As she was dying two years ago, she was crying and so sad about all the mistakes she had made. I just told her I loved her and knew she loved me. That was all we could do with the little time we had. I feel so cheated out of my relationship with my mom.
  
  Movies have a powerful ability to bring emotions to the surface, don't they?