I usually heard them use the word disfellowshipped. Only on a few occasions have I heard an active JW say df'd. I can't remember every hearing of someone being 'disassociated'. I knew someone that did so years ago, but she was usually referred to as someone who "left the truth".
Posts by thom
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19How do JW's refer to DF and DA?
by Jourles ini cannot for the life of me remember how i used to refer to ones who were df'd or had da'd while i was a jdub.
i *think* i used to say "so and so was disfellowshipped" rather than "so and so was df'd.
" but i can't remember.. a few days ago, i briefly overheard someone say "was df'd," which caught my immediate attention.
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31
How many here were mistreated by their "elder" fathers?
by hubert ini am starting to notice some posts about ex-j.w.
's being mistreated, abused, by their fathers who were elders.. i wonder if this is quite common?.
hubert
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thom
My father was an elder most of the time I was growing up. I guess I'm lucky, reading other's experiences. My father was always a caring and loving father, always had full control of his temper, never hit me or abused me or my brother in any way. He raised us the best he knew how. Raised us as JW's, of course, but always kept everything within reason and did not allow others to tell him how to raise his kids. Even now, though he can be irritating (can't we all?), he's an excellent father to me and I can only hope that I've learned from him how to be a good parent.
I feel very fortunate. -
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thom
Welcome, clear2c.
Crisis of Conscience covers the Malawi/Mexico thing in great detail. Showing how the brothers in Mexico even felt that what they were doing may not be proper, and expressing concern over the difference with how things were dealt with in Malawi. He covers governing body discussion of the matter, and provides scans of letters to and from bethel in Mexico. Getting more detail might make things much clearer.
I found that when I was still a JW, it was very easy for me to explain away concerns. I would make assumptions but they tended to be based on the "fact" in my mind that the WTS was most likely right and I was really just brushing off evidence to the contrary.
I also did not leave due to anything I did or wanted to do that would get me into trouble. I'm neither df'd or da'd at this time. -
19
When did you realize that Witnesses weren't much better than anyone else?
by JH in.
when i joined many years ago, i really thought that they were almost perfect.....*cough*.
and then i noticed that many were in their 2nd and 3rd marriage..... after i noticed that many were playing lotto, talking against others in the congregation.... and just yesterday, noticed that some *good* witnesses drive way beyond the speed limit.. so, more and more, i realize that they are just like everyone else, not worse, not better, but just a little more hypocrite.
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thom
Small things gave me clues over the years. Like when I was about 18 and an elder was telling me how pleased he was that he received a gift of a radar detector. My thinking was, "wouldn't you only need that if you plan to speed (and break the law)?"
All the little things didn't make it clear to me until I was thoroughly attacked by an elder on a personal vendetta who called in all his favors from other elders. I saw the coverups, the lying, the materialism, the favoritism and the secrecy of so many people at the same time it just all became so clear to me. -
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Baptisum question change?
by twolips inthank you in advance.
i cant get search to work.. i need the change in wording for the questions.
the year this happened too.
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thom
I was unaware of the change too until I left. But I beat it by one year (baptised in 1984).
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Overactive Celebrating
by searching4? ini have found that since i was denied celebrating holidays as a child, i am like a kid when it comes to celebrating.
the holidays are so magical to me, and i always celebrate in a big way for all of them.
it's still new to me and i have so much fun with it.
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thom
I still can't seem to find the desire for celebration during holidays. I've never celebrated any in my life and I really don't know how. I'll try for my daughter, but for me at this point there is no real interest in it.
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I hate my new job heheheh
by Es inhey all,.
well the rose coloured glasses are off, so i worked my trial period of two days which i didnt get paid for.
so anyway turn up monday, i was getting more confident with the software still not to good with all the accounting stuff but hey its been 8 years since ive done it and even then it was high school.. anyway come the afternoon i was stuck on a few things and he doesnt really explain to me the hows or whys just do it.
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thom
I haven't heard of unpaid training. I've been hiring (and firing) people for years now, and I always plan for training time and their need to ramp up to reasonable productivity levels, but they get paid the whole time. I never thought about any other arrangement than that.
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67
anyone ever wonder whether IT could be the TRUTH?
by Cordelia ini cant believe im posting this either!.
but ive got a huge decision to make wont go thru it all again its on my last thread, and i have decided that i am stopping going to the meetings completly (ive been dfed 7 months and because i didnt want to hurt my family even more i continued going to all the meetings and hid my boyfriend, wno was wonderful about it, put a letter of reinstatement in which they refused but relised by the way i paniked when i thought they might reinstate me that it is not what i want!).
i love my bf and want to be with him without any secrecy but i also want my family to accept him and still speak to me but i know that will not happen, so i have two choices either get reinstated and then leave (and risk losing mybf) or tell them now i dont want it and stop the meetings altogether before i go insane.. thing is to be free of the meetings and be with my bf, i will lose my family they are all so strong in the 'truth' they will not have any contact with me and my husband is divorcing me so ill lose finacially and my house and have to share time with my daughter, not to mention all my old friends who are wanting me back, and if i stop now all those months of trying to be reinstated will be wasted id be set right back,.
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thom
I think back to AlmostAthiest's thread about quitting smoking and the games your mind plays with you. Your mind can try to encourage you to do all sorts of things for all the wrong reasons. Basically, get you to do something you know you shouldn't do, but convince you to with all sorts of odd thoughts.
I agree completely with what what unbeliever said:
"If it is the truth I would rather die at Armageddon than spend all eternity with JW's. That's just me though."
No, it's not just you :) -
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I sent an online birthday card to my non JW sister yesterday...
by TresHappy inthe funny thing is that my jw mom saw it and laughed at it and said it was funny.
her birthday happened to be the day before, and when i called her she said to me "aren't you going to wish me a happy birthday?
"
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thom
That's cool, Tres. Seems strange at first, doesn't it? It did to me at least.
I just got back from the store buying my gf's son a birthday present. He'll be 5. He loves tractors, so I got him a farm and tractor equipment set. -
68
Do You Still *Look* Like A Jehovah's Witness?
by minimus inwould someone still mistake you for a witness?
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thom
I doubt anyone would think I'm a JW as I go back and forth between a goatee and a full beard.
My grandmother says I'm trying to "make a statement", but I just like having a beard since the hair on my head left a long time ago.