Posts by JWdaughter

11

If you are still in and a JWs health care agent, What to do?

by BU2B in

jw
friends

i am in this position.

i am my fathers health care agent, and my wifes as well.

if they are ever in a serious accident or emergency, do you think it would be unethical to allow blood to be used on them?

JWdaughter

honestly, it is my mom's written and stated wishes and I told her I would respect her wishes though I disagree with her strongly. I know that in spite of HER beliefs that my dad receieved blood at the end of his life (not to save it, but to give him a little strength). As it is, she had several surgeries since my dad passed and all could easily have needed blood if there was any slip-but no such worries. She did fine and was up and at 'em in no time.Sooner than a woman her age should expect in any case!

She worried during my 13+ surgeries that I would need blood and I told her I would take it were it necessary. It never was (and several of them easily could have needed it too!)I am anemic and received iron infusions and she kept thinking it was blood when she came to me at the clinic (3 hour treatment). Nurses kept telling her it wasn't. Doctor told her. They totally thought she was obsessed. They have dealt with JW patients (like her) and saw many suffer (and perhaps die) needlessly. They all thought it was BS and felt sorry for her-especially the old nurse who had seen the whole range of WT teachings on the blood issue and knew them for what they are-professionally as a hemotology and oncology nurse. I think they all treaeted me even nicer just knowing my mom (and they were kind to her, too!). It was a very caring office to go to-they had a lot of seriously ill patients, I was just the luckiest one there, I think!

Anyway, sorry I diverged from subject, but I think it is good to respect their wishes, but still take opportunity to drop some clues their way if you can. I actually went to one of her no blood pre surgery sessions (about an hour with a JW nurse/tech to explain what and what she would/would not take and coach her a LOT on what the WT says) and asked some slightly challenging but reasonable in the context of the situation, questions. Might want to be very available for such sessions if you can be. Major hospitals will do this. Ours was a catholic hospital, and they were not hesitant about caring for JWs according to their wishes.

39

At what point did you destroy your Blood card?

by BU2B in

jw
friends

i know for me it was soon after lurking here for awhile and reading some threads on the issue.

i remenber when i tore it into little tiny pieces.

it felt so liberating..

JWdaughter

So long ago that I don't remember if I had one. I must have, but I was 15 when i left and I am nearly 50 now! Youch!!!! I remember wondering if my dad would rescue me (I think I was pretty sure that push come to shove, he would stick up for me).

I think that is one of the most twisted unneccessary teachings I have ever seen in a cult. Just sayin'.

15

My JW mom is coming to visit this Friday!!

by Faithful Witness in

my parents are recent converts to jw (both baptized).

i was never a jw, but did study with them for a long time.

after doing research, my husband and i quit going to meetings and stopped the bs.

JWdaughter

You rock. I'm proud of both of you because you love and appreciate each other enough to not let your differences matter more than your love.

That is really a thing to be thankful of for both of you

Michelle

31

Don't tell me that I am a priority in your life

by KariOtt in

jw
friends

valentines day.

another holiday that unbelieving spouses can't celebrate.

just one out of many holiday's and important days that we get the shaft on.

JWdaughter

Kari, he has no business buying exwife/mother of his kids any gift.I would throw a bloody fit about that! I'm pretty easy going about lot of unimportant things, but seriously, that is fan hitting kind of event if you ask me. Specially when you a re in the hospital and getting nothing! He is treating you like that and you are accepting it outwardly and killing yourself inwardly. That is not healthy at all. Committment by you has nothing to do with this. You have to protect yourself from emotional neglect and abuse.

I hope you choose to do so. He isn't changing. So you need to or you will wither up and die.

31

Don't tell me that I am a priority in your life

by KariOtt in

jw
friends

valentines day.

another holiday that unbelieving spouses can't celebrate.

just one out of many holiday's and important days that we get the shaft on.

JWdaughter

Kari-I was in a marriage like that for so many years. I am not now. Trust me, sweetie, its not getting better-it will just get more hurtful as you give more and more of yourself for less and less. You can stick with it until you are dead inside if you wish or you can divorce all your emotions from him as he seems to have done with you so that his shunnings wont hurt you (think of it as more time for your own interests).

I do suggest that you make an announcemennt overt or otherwise about what your fave flower is and post lots of facebook pictures of whatever it is that you like. Don't let his lie become everyone elses truth, Kari. He has too much power just by his not caring. If he says something to others that is false,contradict him and deal with the fallout. The truth will show him for the ass that he is.

I played the passive games while writing letters such as yours on my computer,on paper. I eventually acted out and finally did rather desperate things to just rid myself of that marriage. I lost a lot in the process, but I gained more. I would suggest that you start being strategic. I never was and would have save myself some grief had I been so.

Its not much, but this is for you . You deserve good things-start giving them to yourself in some way, but mostly, you have a voice. Don't let him silence you.

17

Feeling alone...

by bohm in

jw
friends

hey, im bohms girlfriend.

i thought i was feeling better... i quitted the anti depressant a year ago - but now ive started again.

i know the jw isnt the truth- but i feel so very lonely.

JWdaughter

BG-My best hopes for you. THis is such a hard thing to deal with. It is important to build a life for yourself . Get your education, grow up, marry, have children be happy. Don't let what you lost get you down because what you can gain is so much better. Don't look back,look forward, build friendships that last, choose close friends carefully but don't close yourself to life because of what you "lost". Build your life with people who will not base their affection for you bsed on whether you share all their same ideoogies and/or delusions. Be yourself aand find out who that person is.

You are beautiful in every way that matters, you are young The skies are wide open and blue. Love life but deal with the depression.

I have the worst case of hiccups ever and am struggling to be upbeat right now!! But I know that they, too, shall pass!

15

My JW mom is coming to visit this Friday!!

by Faithful Witness in

my parents are recent converts to jw (both baptized).

i was never a jw, but did study with them for a long time.

after doing research, my husband and i quit going to meetings and stopped the bs.

JWdaughter

have a good visit!

23

Are You Comfortable With Who You Now Are?

by minimus in

jw
friends

many jws are misfits and many that were raised as jws find it difficult to be "normal".

are you comfortable with yourself at this point in time?.

JWdaughter

I'm a bit of a misfit in the world-but I like myself-I know me better than the world and my insides are kinda awesome:)

46

War over preparing for WT study

by cookiemaster in

i know that title sounds weird but so is this situation.

with the following information i'm about to desconspire myself a little bit, but i don't really care since i will simply deny it if any of my elders are lurking here.

anyway the situation is the following.

JWdaughter

I would, since you have spoken to him about some of the issues before and they are not corrected ( I believe you said that) then write it down to the elders and say that you can't have such a person invading your home for hours each week to insult your family. If you spoke to him about it already, you are within your 'rights' to go to the elders with this. (record a meeting if necessary)

My first (snarky)thought-get a thick black sharpie and go through the study and cross out all the false assumptions and stupid things that the WT put in there. Then he can't say you didn't "mark" it up.

First get him out of your home. Then its easier to miss meetings in the future.

Why don't all those poor people dying in Africa crossing crocodile infested rivers get to have a study group in their neighborhood rather than riskinng their livesfor a stupid meeting? OR maybe those guys are avoiding the power tripping MS in their own district-who knows?

42

UN vs. The Vatican - Ex-JWs, are you sure?

by gold_C in

so about a few years ago, thanks to this site i became convinced that everything that the jws have been saying is a bunch of nonsense and that i shouldn't worry about it.

it gave me some comfort, since there are several things i disagree with when it comes to the way one has to live in order to be a witness.

however, this business with the un attacking the vatican seems a little too much like what the witnesses have been preaching about to simply ignore:.

JWdaughter

JWs have used every event that they could possibly link to the end times to "prove" their sequence of things. They are full of it. You know it, I know it. If you are honestly concerned about this latest bit, you should seriously get some counseling for ways to deal with the fears that the WTS has instilled in you.

The UN is always supporting liberty, women, children, health, peace issues. A major religion (every religion) that actively protects abusers needs to be put on notice that it is not acceptable in the world community. Its not just a problem limited to one church or one kind of organization. The UN can't really send peacekeeping forces into every church, so I don't know what kind of threat they are issuing or what consequence the could suggest, but we do know one thing-the UN spouts off ultimately useless proclamations and sanctions on a regular basis. It seems mostly to be like a big, growly old toothless mutt dog.