Smiles_Smiles

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Posts by Smiles_Smiles

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  39

  Have you put your JW family behind you? Are you content with your decision

  by nicolaou in

  1. social
  2. family

  just feeling a bit fed up.

  it's not always like this i know but i'm wondering if life would be far easier for me and my wife if i just drew a line under all my efforts to maintain a relationship with my jw mother, brother and sisters.

  all the rejection, judgementalism and condescension gets a bit much after a while.. how many here actually said 'goodbye' to their jw family and can honestly say they did not regret it?.

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  Smiles_Smiles

  I said goodbye to my mom when I left JWism. I havn't talked to her since. It is going on 3 years.

  I have a sister still in but she doesn't push the stuff on me. We don't talk about it at all. I email her here and there but don't talk to her in person.

  The only time my mom and I were close was during the time I was a JDub. I come from an abusive background so I didn't grow up being close to her. I do NOT feel like I have lost something. The relationship we had that was based on JWism was just that. And since I am not one and don't believe it anymore then we really have no basis or foundation for a relationship. I am not one that believes just because she birthed me that I am automatically beholding to her in some way. I hope that she has peace and I have a measure of love for her but she is not good for me and my daughter at this point in time. Maybe one day I wont feel that way but as for now ...

  I can't tell you how you would feel by leaving family behind. It seems like I am NOT the norm when it comes to how I feel and act regarding family. I see family as people too. And if the person is healthy for me and me for them then great "let's hang out". But if not then I am not trying to hang out rather they are family or not.

  But that's just me...

  I wish you well!

  Smiles
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  45

  AHHHHH! I'm PREGNANT!!!

  by Jez in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  just thought i would pop in here to tell you all that i am 3 months pregnant!

  it was quite a shock.

  my husband and i have been married for 5 years.

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  Smiles_Smiles

  CONGRATULATIONS!!!

  You are an ole pro. Everything will be just fine. People start over (with kids) all the time!! Enjoy every minute of it!!!

  Smiles
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  50

  Apostates do you still read Watchtower literature? And if so Why do you?

  by booker-t in

  1. watchtower
  2. bible

  i was just wondering how many ex-jws still read wt literature and if so why.

  i have noticed alot of posters here know what the lastest wt or awake magazines are talking about and i was just wondering why do you bother to read that stuff since you left the wt?

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  Smiles_Smiles

  No I don't read it. When I left I threw it all away and I don't associate with people that would have the new ones. I have the CD Rom left in one of the boxes in my office and that's only because I havn't taken the time to throw it away.

  But that's just me.

  Smiles
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  21

  Am I done having children?

  by whyamihere in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i have a question to the parents on the board:.

  how did you know your last child was your last?

  did your family feel complete?.

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  Smiles_Smiles

  Interesting question. I think you know when you know. Or when your circumstances tell you that it is not a good idea to have another.

  I had one (single mom) and I thought '1's enough'. Even if my circumstances had been different I still think I would have only wanted one.

  But now I am involved with a man who doesn't have any and I am staying open until we decide if we really want to start all over (my daughter is 14).

  Just remember babies turn into preteens that turn into TEEAGERS that turn into college students. That may be a bit much to go through just to have another baby experience. (You will always have the baby experience again when the grandbabies arrive).

  Smiles
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  20

  'I love you'

  by Zico in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  yesterday, i came to the realisation, that nobody has ever said these words to me, least not that i can remember, which was a temporarily devastating moment for me.

  this began with my father.

  spotting him in front of the tv in his favourite chair, i walked over and came out with the words 'i love you' it felt very weird, because i think it may be the first time i've ever said these words myself, but i'm going to blame my upbringing on this.

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  Smiles_Smiles

  Good for you!!!! If you send out love enough you will find that it will be returned.

  I thought this was soooo interesting though because when I was a JDub (just a couple of years ago) I dated a 'brother' that couldn't say those words. He said that he is showing me by all that he does. And I told him that a woman likes to here the words eventually if the emotiion is there. When I told him once he replied 'thank you'.

  He must have been raised in a family simular to yours. Interesting....

  Good for you for breaking the cycle!!

  Much Love,

  Smiles
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  51

  My journey is reaching another level

  by InquiryMan in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  some four years ago, i handed in my last report in the kh.

  both wanted our children to have a more mainstream life than the witnesses frame could offer.

  in time, my wife and i got separated.

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  Smiles_Smiles

  WOW!

  I applaud your courage!! I wish you peace and love.

  Smiles & Hugs
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  14

  Sharing Your new light with your Parents

  by pratt1 in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  every so often i get to share some of my thooughts about the borg and my new found beliefs with my mom , who is a die hard pioneer for over 20 years.. we actually have had decent conversations about doctrines and interpertations of the scriptures, and she has admitted that at times the borg may have misapplied certain scriptures over the years.. her excuse is that imperfect men sometimes make mistakes and jehovah makes allowances for this.. but what really gets her upset is when i bring up certain aspects of my childhood, that because of her belief in the borg, she made some unwise decisions for not only me be her family.. me getting baptized at 13, her not being fully supportive of higher education, cutting off family members, pushing me into an early marriage when i was clearly not ready, teaching me that all "worldly people', including my father woiuld die at armageddon, these are just a few examples that when we discuss them, she becomes extremely angry and then accuses me of making her out to be a bad mother.. i got me thinking, do you think that many dubs refuse to acknowledge the problems with their religion because it would mean that they made some really bad decsions in their and their families lives.. are they afraid to accept the responsiblity for this because of the guilt they would suffer?.

  what are your thoughts?

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  Smiles_Smiles

  Yes, I do think that.

  I don't necessarily believe it is a conscious thing but definitely it is easier to let 'Jah' take responsibility for the decisions then actually owning the damage allot of the decisions have cause for the people that they supposedly love.
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  14

  Personal Truths

  by searching4truth in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i have been doing alot of soul searching lately.

  having been raised as a dub and my entire world focused on that existence i seem to be a bit lost as to who i am.

  everything my life was based on was a lie, so that being the case i find myself having to toss all my former philosophies aside and start from scratch.

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  Smiles_Smiles

  I have had 2 1/2 years out.

  This is my second time out though. My 1st time was when I was 16 and it lasted for 10 years. But during that time I was still very much attached/inslaved to JW thinking in many ways even though my body was free.

  Now I can truly say I am mentally free as well as physically free. I had to let go of all the JW teachings on everything you mentioned. It was like dieing! I thought I would toss it all in the air (everything I had been taught) and see what comes back to me and stick.

  As far as personal truths ... I have learned not to be attached to any specific 'truth' because it may change at any time (as I mature and grow more healthy). I try not to think I am 'right' about any 'truth' but that there are some that fit 'me' at given moments in time. And that same thing may be an 'untruth' for another person at that same moment in time. And that doesn't make either of us right nor wrong from were I am sitting. I am not here to convert or condemn anyone.

  I must say that having the above emotional state brings me peace and helps me to honor every individual the best that I can.

  Life is finally good and enjoyable!
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  20

  What MAKES people become JWs----more then anything else?

  by new boy in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  its easy.......................its jws having sex with other jws..................its not people coming in from the field service!

  (most people are way to smart for that).

  how many people here................ come to this "faith" from the "door to door" work?.

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  Smiles_Smiles

  hmmm???
  Besides being born it ~ once one is old enough to walk away ~ I have often wondered is it also a need to have some type of answers to the 'unanswerable' questions of life. Maybe to gain some type of security blanket and religion (JW) fills the bill.
  hmmm?
  Great question!
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  52

  Ongoing 'Don't shun me' campaign.

  by AK - Jeff in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  as many of you know by now - i do not tolerate 'shunners'.

  i have done no evil, killed no one, never raped or pillaged any witnesses.

  i do not tolerate small-minded witnesses who called me 'brother' for most of 40 years, now acting as if i am no better than sh*t on the bottom of their shoes.

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  Smiles_Smiles

  Good for you!!

  It will be interesting to see if you get a reply back. If it is a big enough chain they are more likely required to send you some type of reply.

  Personally I could care less about them shunning me. But I hate to see people's feelings hurt. And this type of behavior does hurt people's feelings. However at the same time I do know it is a part of their beliefs that they are just acting on (as we all probably did to some degree at one time or another).