Posts by Rayvin

22

A question I've asked an elder as a kid, he never gave an answer

by zagor in

the question was, "so if things are going to be returned to as they were in eden does that mean that we all are going to be naked again and that we won't need any clothing.".

it is very uncomfortable thought for many dubs.

it is not only to do with "immorality" as such (though many naturalists would vouch that it being naked has nothing to do with it anyway).

Rayvin

I don't remember who it was but they attempted to answer that same question for me.

They explained that Adam and Eve were perfect and since we are not instantly perfect after Armageddon we would still need clothes. It wouldn't be untill we became perfect people that the feeling of shame would be gone and the need to clothe ourselves for that reason would be gone as well. However, since we don't clothe ourselves just out of shame there would be other reasons for clothes. The weather would have us cover ourselves for protection. We will be perfect..not stupid.

But that is just one persons opinion.

32

help my mother is brainwashing my 10 yr old

by squirlyboo in

ughhhhh, i left "the truth" when i was 16 i had my daughter when i was 18. while is was finishing college my mother watched my daughter for me , so they are very very close.

well whenever my daughter goes to visit usualy about a week at a time my mother takes her to the hall .

she fills her head with the doctrine and tells her that ill say bad things about it and scares her into not telling me about it .

Rayvin

I have 3 kids-2 girls (6 yr and 4 yr) one boy(9 months) My parents have tried to be ~~manipulating~~ helpful in teaching "the truth" to my kids since i don't really go to the hall anymore.

Before the memorial they had my oldest for the weekend and showed her the book w/ Jesus on the 'stake' and explained it all.. yada yada yada. I was very upset since at the time she was only 4 yrs old and I didn't want her seeing Jesus w/ blood dripping everywhere and being told that Jehovah allowed him to die.. etc. I felt she was too young for that info. That its my job not hers to teach her new things about religion. I also mentioned any questions my children have about.. religion, sex, holidays (since mom likes to tell her how xmas and b-days are BAD) etc. to tell them to ask me. If she doesn't do as I ask her then simply the kids will not be able to visit with her unsupervised. I have no problem explaining to my children if need be as to why we aren't visiting Gma much anymore.

Welcome to the board! I hope you find the comfort and support that you need.

32

Thinking outside of what is allowed

by coolhandluke in

this is my first post.

i have read and benefited greatly from all of the posts on the board.

i just wanted to share a little of my story perhaps to gain insight into myself, and perhaps just to share with like minded people.

Rayvin

Welcome CHL! I am new here too and enjoy hearing from ex-jws that understand and have ' been there'. You mentioned ' the end of this system'. I can't mention a single problem or struggle to my Mother in law (JW) w/ out her saying that we just need to go to the meetings and study more. She always brings up how the end of times is so very close and they are focusing are bringing strayed ones back into the fold. Really? Then why aren't they calling on me? (not that i want them to)

I am hanging on a bit to appease my parents since my mom has cancer going on 7 years now and i don't want to punch her when she is down. My dad is starting to see the hypocrisy about loving brothers and sisters who don't visit mom or dad to see if they can help. He cried the other day saying" the only time they want to help you out if you are struggling is if you pioneer. And dam# it , it shouldn't matter"

I have found great support here and i hope you do as well. We have a great bond through our past and experiences.

18

WHAT WAS YOUR EUREKA MOMENT?

by badboy in

jw
friends

when you realized something was up!

Rayvin

When i heard through many talks how reinstated ones are to be treated. Then found out personally that it doesnt happen that way. I was shunned..given looks- the gossip of what i had done to be df'd was spread even outside my own cong. and reached a cong. 30 min away. My best friend was told by her parents to stay away from me as i was bad association. I was just as bad off 'cept i could answer and "yippy" go out in FS. I sure as heck didn't feel like preaching to people about the loving kindness of the JWs since I wasn't recieving it. I began my decent then and i am still fading.

36

witnoid weddings

by katiekitten in

when i was a kid weddings in the troof were a big deal.

probably because they were the main if not only excuse for a knees up.

if someone was getting married they were not in control of the decisions about the reception.

Rayvin

I remember my best JW friend at the time was getting married and i was a full out JW still and was supposed to be her maid of honor. Her hubby had heard about my past and didn't want me in the wedding but didn't tell her or me untill after I had forked out the money for the dress and shoes. - i didn't get the $ back.

Since i knew i was never going to get the loads of presents like normal JWs get at wedding showers..etc I chose to just elope. Didn't even tell my parents till afterwards.

119

CAN MEN AND WOMEN JUST BE "FRIENDS"?

by Mary in

jw
friends

or will one of them invaribly end up being attracted to the other?

Rayvin

I have had several male friends. Did any of them want to have sex with me? Sure! Well except for that one gay friend.

This one guy friend i had at one time decided to end the friendship because he liked me so much he couldn't stand hearing me talk about the guys I was dating. He was willing to ruin a perfect relationship because he couldn't control his feelings. I told him that a good friend will be there when the boyfriend fails. A good friend gets to know the whole me faster then if he dated me. We would be friends forever. Boyfriends come and go. It lasted for years untill he finally met someone that loved him and married her. I miss him.

67

What did shunning do to you?

by hillary_step in

jw
friends

there can be little doubt that the wts 'shunning' policy is a dangerous weapon.

each year tens of thousands of people are disfellowshipped, and experience the reality of being shunned.

many of them still believing the wts doctrine that if they die in this condition they will shortly be executed by god at har-meggedon and die an eternal and disgraceful death some leaving the faith altogether.

Rayvin

I am a very social person and strive off communicating w/ people. I was shunned for being df'd and even after being reinstated still the rumors and gossip about me kept me from having friends. I mean.. what do you say to your best friend after a year and a half of silence???

Since i had no 'good' association i found 'bad' association. That led me to be w/ a guy i trusted that ended up lying to me and raping me. That led me to figure.. i am bad already.. oh well .might as well.

I became very wild w/ guys. So i got df'd again. Since it was my fault for being in the situation to get raped. Oh boy.. just what i needed! Forced away from 'good' association and support. The looks i got and didn't get while in the back row of the meetings. I was so alone! It devastated me to only have my parents to talk to and they were even warned about that. I was all of 15 and had to deal w/ such a life changing punishment. Solitary confinement! I just fought against it and became wild and insecure at the same time.

52

Why are honest questions considered apostasy?

by Rayvin in

this is why as i was growing up (raised in "the truth") i never asked questions.

i never understood the birthday issue among other holidays.

i never asked because i was scared i would be looked at as an apostate or as someone being worn down by the wicked association.

Rayvin

oops!! I don't tell my parents.. sorry..

52

Why are honest questions considered apostasy?

by Rayvin in

this is why as i was growing up (raised in "the truth") i never asked questions.

i never understood the birthday issue among other holidays.

i never asked because i was scared i would be looked at as an apostate or as someone being worn down by the wicked association.

Rayvin

Dan-O

Thats right.. they do encourage people just studing to ask questions. I also remember in service too that if we came to a person that would just keep asking questions etc.. and got their bible out for a discussion we were told to politely end the conversation , that the person at the door was obviously just wanting to argue. That always confused me. The people at the door sometimes had a good point!

My most recent issue is i am okay w/ celebrating B-days and having presents and lights up at xmas time. I told tell my parents about it but i have 3 kids - oldest is 6. She gets excited about it all and wants to tell everyone..lol I am gonna have to be okay w/ it all someday.

52

Why are honest questions considered apostasy?

by Rayvin in

this is why as i was growing up (raised in "the truth") i never asked questions.

i never understood the birthday issue among other holidays.

i never asked because i was scared i would be looked at as an apostate or as someone being worn down by the wicked association.

Rayvin

This is why as i was growing up (raised in "the truth") i never asked questions. I never understood the Birthday issue among other holidays. I never asked because i was scared i would be looked at as an apostate or as someone being worn down by the wicked association. Any question i did ask was given a very broad and general response. If the JW religion is "The Truth" then there should be a logical and reasonable answer to EVERY question i have.

How do you go about asking questions even out of curiosity with out being considered 'bad'? I am publicly reproved and trying to just hang on till my parents pass away to try to save them from too much heartache. Everytime they talk to me about going back to the meetings or about the conventions..etc i get sick to my stomach. I can't hear one more hypocrytical talk. "loving kindness" " non-judging" MY BUTT!

Sorry.. first time posting and had to get it out.