acuragirl

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Posts by acuragirl

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  20

  Is god all knowing?

  by gringojj in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  i dont understand how god can be omnipotent, and all knowing, but that doesnt apply to knowing the future?

  god is not human.

  he had the power to create us.

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  acuragirl

  SORRY HUN DID NOT LOG ON UNDER MY OWN NAME,LAST POST FROM AG
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  51

  Still on the fence!

  by acuragirl in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  hey everyone i know its been a while since i posted but today i felt the need.just wanted to update you all on my position which is still brainwashed!i just dont know what to do i gain my strength to conquer this disease,(thats what i call being born in the org) from others like freedom lover who have come out of this religon free and clear i know its not easy but i know it can be done.i dont know why i just cant get over it and move on already,but theres thats piece of me that says,but what if?then im back, screwed and tatooed with jdub on my forehead,thinking that jehovah is upset and dissapointed with me and satan has me in his grasp.im stil sooo confused even with all the evidence pointing to they are full of crap!what if they arent?i just want to know the truth even if i dont choose to follow it,i want to know if jehovah is watching me torment myself every day,going back and forth and i cant take it anymore.then i think what if there is no jehovah?who the hell am i praying to with my daughter at night?

  (the air mabe)you see my daughter still believes even though she is ready to celebrate halloween this year and yes we bought her a costume,cinderella!my mother comes and takes her every now and then only if i promise to go to some meetings and i did last weekend i attended the sunday meeting for once in a about 6 months!felt strange to be there but once again going to a different cong i got love bombed.btw i feel guilty and scared about having anything to do with halloween this year.yup still dealing with the guilt,fear,agony,of knowing and believing in the dubs,for so long now trying desperately to get out without feeling the way i do.i just dont know what to do anymore and its a shame because the dubs have sucked the life out of me(guess i didnt check my doubts soon enough).if i dont get off the fence soon im going to go nuts.i like believeing that satan doesnt even exist and that there is no heavenly org.gives me peace of mind that i can just live my life,if theres a god,fine,is it jehovah?thats where the conflict arises and i cant just go on with my life thinking jehovah has lost me to the other side!

  !im not a lost cause yet guys.i need new light!

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  acuragirl

  Actually Caramel,no i havent.
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  51

  Still on the fence!

  by acuragirl in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  hey everyone i know its been a while since i posted but today i felt the need.just wanted to update you all on my position which is still brainwashed!i just dont know what to do i gain my strength to conquer this disease,(thats what i call being born in the org) from others like freedom lover who have come out of this religon free and clear i know its not easy but i know it can be done.i dont know why i just cant get over it and move on already,but theres thats piece of me that says,but what if?then im back, screwed and tatooed with jdub on my forehead,thinking that jehovah is upset and dissapointed with me and satan has me in his grasp.im stil sooo confused even with all the evidence pointing to they are full of crap!what if they arent?i just want to know the truth even if i dont choose to follow it,i want to know if jehovah is watching me torment myself every day,going back and forth and i cant take it anymore.then i think what if there is no jehovah?who the hell am i praying to with my daughter at night?

  (the air mabe)you see my daughter still believes even though she is ready to celebrate halloween this year and yes we bought her a costume,cinderella!my mother comes and takes her every now and then only if i promise to go to some meetings and i did last weekend i attended the sunday meeting for once in a about 6 months!felt strange to be there but once again going to a different cong i got love bombed.btw i feel guilty and scared about having anything to do with halloween this year.yup still dealing with the guilt,fear,agony,of knowing and believing in the dubs,for so long now trying desperately to get out without feeling the way i do.i just dont know what to do anymore and its a shame because the dubs have sucked the life out of me(guess i didnt check my doubts soon enough).if i dont get off the fence soon im going to go nuts.i like believeing that satan doesnt even exist and that there is no heavenly org.gives me peace of mind that i can just live my life,if theres a god,fine,is it jehovah?thats where the conflict arises and i cant just go on with my life thinking jehovah has lost me to the other side!

  !im not a lost cause yet guys.i need new light!

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  acuragirl

  I ordered the book .Finally ill get to see in a few days what is in this book,been hearing about it ever since my husband found this forum.Thanks blondie and others for the link,went to amazon.com they had it.In 3 -5 days i will see the "NEW LIGHT".
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  51

  Still on the fence!

  by acuragirl in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  hey everyone i know its been a while since i posted but today i felt the need.just wanted to update you all on my position which is still brainwashed!i just dont know what to do i gain my strength to conquer this disease,(thats what i call being born in the org) from others like freedom lover who have come out of this religon free and clear i know its not easy but i know it can be done.i dont know why i just cant get over it and move on already,but theres thats piece of me that says,but what if?then im back, screwed and tatooed with jdub on my forehead,thinking that jehovah is upset and dissapointed with me and satan has me in his grasp.im stil sooo confused even with all the evidence pointing to they are full of crap!what if they arent?i just want to know the truth even if i dont choose to follow it,i want to know if jehovah is watching me torment myself every day,going back and forth and i cant take it anymore.then i think what if there is no jehovah?who the hell am i praying to with my daughter at night?

  (the air mabe)you see my daughter still believes even though she is ready to celebrate halloween this year and yes we bought her a costume,cinderella!my mother comes and takes her every now and then only if i promise to go to some meetings and i did last weekend i attended the sunday meeting for once in a about 6 months!felt strange to be there but once again going to a different cong i got love bombed.btw i feel guilty and scared about having anything to do with halloween this year.yup still dealing with the guilt,fear,agony,of knowing and believing in the dubs,for so long now trying desperately to get out without feeling the way i do.i just dont know what to do anymore and its a shame because the dubs have sucked the life out of me(guess i didnt check my doubts soon enough).if i dont get off the fence soon im going to go nuts.i like believeing that satan doesnt even exist and that there is no heavenly org.gives me peace of mind that i can just live my life,if theres a god,fine,is it jehovah?thats where the conflict arises and i cant just go on with my life thinking jehovah has lost me to the other side!

  !im not a lost cause yet guys.i need new light!

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  acuragirl

  Its great to have listening ears.The witnesses dont listen to your concerns and questions they just say you must be hanging out with a bad associate,if you are questioning the dubs.My own mother doesnt even listen to my questions.One time i remember me and my sister asking her questions about the religon,genuine questions from the heart that we needed answers to.She got really mad and started yelling at us that we should know all the answers to these questions because we grew up as dubs .Guess what i was a kid i wasnt paying attension at the meetings.Duh! She gave us some lame answers we still questioned and we gave up!I have never gotten a straight answer from a dub.Thats no suprise.
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  51

  Still on the fence!

  by acuragirl in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  hey everyone i know its been a while since i posted but today i felt the need.just wanted to update you all on my position which is still brainwashed!i just dont know what to do i gain my strength to conquer this disease,(thats what i call being born in the org) from others like freedom lover who have come out of this religon free and clear i know its not easy but i know it can be done.i dont know why i just cant get over it and move on already,but theres thats piece of me that says,but what if?then im back, screwed and tatooed with jdub on my forehead,thinking that jehovah is upset and dissapointed with me and satan has me in his grasp.im stil sooo confused even with all the evidence pointing to they are full of crap!what if they arent?i just want to know the truth even if i dont choose to follow it,i want to know if jehovah is watching me torment myself every day,going back and forth and i cant take it anymore.then i think what if there is no jehovah?who the hell am i praying to with my daughter at night?

  (the air mabe)you see my daughter still believes even though she is ready to celebrate halloween this year and yes we bought her a costume,cinderella!my mother comes and takes her every now and then only if i promise to go to some meetings and i did last weekend i attended the sunday meeting for once in a about 6 months!felt strange to be there but once again going to a different cong i got love bombed.btw i feel guilty and scared about having anything to do with halloween this year.yup still dealing with the guilt,fear,agony,of knowing and believing in the dubs,for so long now trying desperately to get out without feeling the way i do.i just dont know what to do anymore and its a shame because the dubs have sucked the life out of me(guess i didnt check my doubts soon enough).if i dont get off the fence soon im going to go nuts.i like believeing that satan doesnt even exist and that there is no heavenly org.gives me peace of mind that i can just live my life,if theres a god,fine,is it jehovah?thats where the conflict arises and i cant just go on with my life thinking jehovah has lost me to the other side!

  !im not a lost cause yet guys.i need new light!

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• 

  acuragirl

  As always great advice and encouraging words from all of you.Thankyou all so much for your help.The first thing i need to do is get those books, can i get them online??I think reading them is a huge step on my way out!
• 
  51

  Still on the fence!

  by acuragirl in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  hey everyone i know its been a while since i posted but today i felt the need.just wanted to update you all on my position which is still brainwashed!i just dont know what to do i gain my strength to conquer this disease,(thats what i call being born in the org) from others like freedom lover who have come out of this religon free and clear i know its not easy but i know it can be done.i dont know why i just cant get over it and move on already,but theres thats piece of me that says,but what if?then im back, screwed and tatooed with jdub on my forehead,thinking that jehovah is upset and dissapointed with me and satan has me in his grasp.im stil sooo confused even with all the evidence pointing to they are full of crap!what if they arent?i just want to know the truth even if i dont choose to follow it,i want to know if jehovah is watching me torment myself every day,going back and forth and i cant take it anymore.then i think what if there is no jehovah?who the hell am i praying to with my daughter at night?

  (the air mabe)you see my daughter still believes even though she is ready to celebrate halloween this year and yes we bought her a costume,cinderella!my mother comes and takes her every now and then only if i promise to go to some meetings and i did last weekend i attended the sunday meeting for once in a about 6 months!felt strange to be there but once again going to a different cong i got love bombed.btw i feel guilty and scared about having anything to do with halloween this year.yup still dealing with the guilt,fear,agony,of knowing and believing in the dubs,for so long now trying desperately to get out without feeling the way i do.i just dont know what to do anymore and its a shame because the dubs have sucked the life out of me(guess i didnt check my doubts soon enough).if i dont get off the fence soon im going to go nuts.i like believeing that satan doesnt even exist and that there is no heavenly org.gives me peace of mind that i can just live my life,if theres a god,fine,is it jehovah?thats where the conflict arises and i cant just go on with my life thinking jehovah has lost me to the other side!

  !im not a lost cause yet guys.i need new light!

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  acuragirl

  DEFD,I have night after night prayed to JEHOVAH and thrown my anxieties on him,to no avail.The one time i thought he had answered my prayer it might have been more coincidence than anything else.I asked that if the witnesses had the truth,that they would come to my door,and guess what a couple weeks later they did,That messed me up and i really thought that was JEHOVAHS answer to me.My husband thought i was crazy and told me i was just a coincidence.Hes right i could have been,i dont know but if Jehovah really wanted to help me and he knows the struggle im going through to find "the truth" then he would make it clear as crystal where i need to go. If the witnesses have the truth why the hell is it soooo difficult to see it??Where is it,somewhere mixed in between all the falsehoods?Look at the logic defd you cannot deny all the things exposed in the religon,you cannot answer the tough questions,and neither can I.If i cannot make sense of the religon i supposedly believe in and it appears ridiculus to everyone else, i dont want to be in it.
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  51

  Still on the fence!

  by acuragirl in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  hey everyone i know its been a while since i posted but today i felt the need.just wanted to update you all on my position which is still brainwashed!i just dont know what to do i gain my strength to conquer this disease,(thats what i call being born in the org) from others like freedom lover who have come out of this religon free and clear i know its not easy but i know it can be done.i dont know why i just cant get over it and move on already,but theres thats piece of me that says,but what if?then im back, screwed and tatooed with jdub on my forehead,thinking that jehovah is upset and dissapointed with me and satan has me in his grasp.im stil sooo confused even with all the evidence pointing to they are full of crap!what if they arent?i just want to know the truth even if i dont choose to follow it,i want to know if jehovah is watching me torment myself every day,going back and forth and i cant take it anymore.then i think what if there is no jehovah?who the hell am i praying to with my daughter at night?

  (the air mabe)you see my daughter still believes even though she is ready to celebrate halloween this year and yes we bought her a costume,cinderella!my mother comes and takes her every now and then only if i promise to go to some meetings and i did last weekend i attended the sunday meeting for once in a about 6 months!felt strange to be there but once again going to a different cong i got love bombed.btw i feel guilty and scared about having anything to do with halloween this year.yup still dealing with the guilt,fear,agony,of knowing and believing in the dubs,for so long now trying desperately to get out without feeling the way i do.i just dont know what to do anymore and its a shame because the dubs have sucked the life out of me(guess i didnt check my doubts soon enough).if i dont get off the fence soon im going to go nuts.i like believeing that satan doesnt even exist and that there is no heavenly org.gives me peace of mind that i can just live my life,if theres a god,fine,is it jehovah?thats where the conflict arises and i cant just go on with my life thinking jehovah has lost me to the other side!

  !im not a lost cause yet guys.i need new light!

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  acuragirl

  You guys are right i need to stop kidding myself and look at the logic.I also need to reassure myself that they are bs by reading there those two books mentioned.I think with time and a little extra study i will see what i need to.Then i will be sure of my decision to leave and stay gone.Besides you are all right i wouldnt stay with an abusive husband who constantly threatened me and made me fearful of him if i didnt stay.I cant possibly stay in a religon or be affiliated with one that forces you to OBEY,OR ELSE DEATH.I just hate what they are aloud to do to people,Ruin their lives.Im just glad i never got baptized.I was smart there.
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  20

  Embarrased that you were a JW?

  by Lady Lee in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  i have finally started to read captive hearts, captive minds.. they say something that got me to thinking.. i used to feel embarassed to tell non-jws that i was a jw.

  it was one thing to tell people at the doors.

  it was totally another thing to tell other people.

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  acuragirl

  Tell me about it i was wicked embarrased to go knocking on doors as a kid and teen out in service.I would make up every excuse in the world to get out of going to the doors.It never worked i always had to go,sometimes i would pretend to ring the bell(if the door had a bell) and i would walk away quick if no one came to the door after like 1 knock.LOL. The worst thing was when i went to a door and one of my schoolmates lived there,o god just kill me.I was so afraid to be the laughing stock of my school,me and my sisters.Luckily i wasnt.It was almost equally embarrasing to stand up at the flag salute and b the only one without your hand over your heart and everyone looking at you like,"Whats with her?"
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  38

  "The friends" came over today.............

  by gringojj in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i am so sick of witnesses reserving catchphrases for themselves.. talking to my wifes mother today she kept referring to "the friends".

  "the friends came over today, we went to lunch with the friends".

  well if they are "the friends", then what the hell are everyone else?

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  acuragirl

  You know whats funny legolas,im his wife and i dont even know what gringojj"s name means.I guess i never thought to ask him.LOL
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  51

  Still on the fence!

  by acuragirl in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  hey everyone i know its been a while since i posted but today i felt the need.just wanted to update you all on my position which is still brainwashed!i just dont know what to do i gain my strength to conquer this disease,(thats what i call being born in the org) from others like freedom lover who have come out of this religon free and clear i know its not easy but i know it can be done.i dont know why i just cant get over it and move on already,but theres thats piece of me that says,but what if?then im back, screwed and tatooed with jdub on my forehead,thinking that jehovah is upset and dissapointed with me and satan has me in his grasp.im stil sooo confused even with all the evidence pointing to they are full of crap!what if they arent?i just want to know the truth even if i dont choose to follow it,i want to know if jehovah is watching me torment myself every day,going back and forth and i cant take it anymore.then i think what if there is no jehovah?who the hell am i praying to with my daughter at night?

  (the air mabe)you see my daughter still believes even though she is ready to celebrate halloween this year and yes we bought her a costume,cinderella!my mother comes and takes her every now and then only if i promise to go to some meetings and i did last weekend i attended the sunday meeting for once in a about 6 months!felt strange to be there but once again going to a different cong i got love bombed.btw i feel guilty and scared about having anything to do with halloween this year.yup still dealing with the guilt,fear,agony,of knowing and believing in the dubs,for so long now trying desperately to get out without feeling the way i do.i just dont know what to do anymore and its a shame because the dubs have sucked the life out of me(guess i didnt check my doubts soon enough).if i dont get off the fence soon im going to go nuts.i like believeing that satan doesnt even exist and that there is no heavenly org.gives me peace of mind that i can just live my life,if theres a god,fine,is it jehovah?thats where the conflict arises and i cant just go on with my life thinking jehovah has lost me to the other side!

  !im not a lost cause yet guys.i need new light!

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  acuragirl

  No i have not read the books.