Posts by GoingGoingGone

27

JW Husband and Apostate Wife

by twinflame in

ah, where to start.

i have been married for 30 years and was a jw with my husband for 20+.

we raised 6 children in the borg; none of which, thankfully, stuck with it.

GoingGoingGone

The only thing I regret is that he really loves his religion and because of me he won't be able to get as far as he deserves inside it.

DY -

What you do as a JW, as his wife, shouldn't make any difference. My husband is an elder, and he told me that it doesn't matter what I do as far as his 'position' goes. I am an adult and make my own decisions. However, if my kids refused to go to meetings, or got into serious trouble, then he would risk being removed as elder.

If your husband wants to 'advance' in the JW ranks, your activity or inactivity shouldn't matter. So don't blame yourself for his troubles.

GGG

37

She said I seem really bitter about my JW experience....

by Sirona in

jw
friends

.

i was talking to someone at my new job - she has known me for about 3 months and had something like 2 five minute conversations with me about the jws.. she said "you do come across as really bitter about it".. (note she is definately not a jw).. it was a real eye opener, because although i try and educate people about the truth of jws, i didn't think i was "bitter".. what about you?

sirona

GoingGoingGone

Very interesting discussion....

I have absolutely held the belief that I am NOT bitter. Of course, I'm not DF'd, either, and I figured that that's why. But my friends are avoiding me, my husband is pulling away, and still, I have not felt bitter at the situation. In general, I try to have a positive attitude, and have tried to be grateful for the many years with great friendships that I have had.

This past few weeks, though, I have come to the realization that I have literally turned off my emotions, to deal with my current situation. I didn't even know that it was possible to do that, honestly... not to the extent that I have, anyway. The realization came when I allowed my emotions to come back ON, and I started to fall apart. I am angry... I am sad.... I am upset.... I am bitter. And I hate not being in control of my emotions. But at least I have some now....

I'm not going to get too philosophical, because I haven't figured anything else out yet.... LOL.

GGG

27

JW Husband and Apostate Wife

by twinflame in

ah, where to start.

i have been married for 30 years and was a jw with my husband for 20+.

we raised 6 children in the borg; none of which, thankfully, stuck with it.

GoingGoingGone

Twinflame, vent all you want honey

I second that!

GGG

27

JW Husband and Apostate Wife

by twinflame in

ah, where to start.

i have been married for 30 years and was a jw with my husband for 20+.

we raised 6 children in the borg; none of which, thankfully, stuck with it.

GoingGoingGone

Hi twinflame,

I'm married for almost 20 years to a JW elder... he's still in and I am out. Haven't been to a meeting for a year or more, nor in service, although he turned in a field service report for me (????!!!??) until about 3 months ago. But now I'm 'officially' inactive, too... I'm not df'd, just faded.. hoping he will follow one day. But in the meantime, the waiting and the distance between us gets old....

I also can't stand the literature all over the house, I can't stand the time he devotes to meetings and service and elders meetings and shepherding calls and the money spent on literature and gas driving to and from meetings and out in service (he always drives, we have a big car)... Anyway, this site IS great, there are many here who are out and who are trying to get their mate out, too. Lots of good suggestions. So keep reading, hang around, and WELCOME!

GGG

30

Did the JW religion add stress to your life?

by JH in

jw
friends

i was very stressed when i was an active jw.

i hated going to meetings, knocking at doors, preparing meetings and so on.. i hated talking in front of a group.

there was too much to read and to prepare, and never felt like i was good enough.. last night i took a walk and passed in front of the book study where i was just a few months ago.

GoingGoingGone

I was one of those who did everything I was 'supposed' to do and more, and still felt like I wasn't going to live through Armageddon. No matter what I did, it never seemed to be good enough.

When I stopped going to meetings, the physical stress of leaving the frantic lifestyle was a relief, but honestly, the biggest surprise for me came when I finally realized that what I had believed my entire life, was a lie. It was such an amazing feeling when I finally KNEW that Armageddon wasn't coming 'any day now'... when I finally BELIEVED it. I never realized how much stress I was under, until that stress was suddenly gone.

"The truth will set you free....."

GGG

35

I am not alone!!!!!

by Krisiva10 in

jw
friends

it took me a bit of reading through some posts to realize that this site is exactly what i have been looking for, for such a long time!!

people to share my blown away realization i experienced after i quit going to the meetings and went against my mother!

it feels great to see people who have gone through and felt the same as i and who have taken the steps to change their life.

GoingGoingGone

So nice to see you here! You are absolutely not alone here... everyone has a story to tell. We understand what you're going through, and there are lots of people here willing to help you through it.

Enjoy!

GGG

17

Don't you sometimes just want to STOP talking about it?

by nicolaou in

there's some real nasty stuff going on in my family right now - many of my worst fears about being shunned are coming true and i fear for my mum's health because of all the stress she's under - seriously!.

but i just cannot bring myself to discuss it.

i'm just so sick and tired of the whole thing...

GoingGoingGone

I know exactly how you feel. I go from being so sick to death of the whole situation that I can't even stand to think about it, to not being able to say enough and talking the ears off anyone who will listen, and everything in between.

I'm sorry you're feeling this way. I hope you're feeling better about it all soon... !

GGG

16

Thank You!

by TD in

jw
friends

i was going to post a personal note under the subject, "my daughter is reading jwd" but i decided to just say, "thanks" instead.

it can be confusing for a teen-aged child when one parent is a jw and the other is not, even in a house like mine, where both parents recognize that it would be grossly unfair to "pull" in both directions at once, forcing her to please one parent at the expense of the other.

jwd, with its huge cross-section of people and experience has been and continues to be valuable in helping her to make up her own mind.

GoingGoingGone

Welcome, TD's daughter!!! I have a teenaged daughter too... And one thing I am fond of telling my kids is that KNOWLEDGE IS POWER.

Stick around, and learn all you can. Enjoy!!

GGG

27

Does it bother you to realize that life is normal for those left behind?

by free2beme in

jw
friends

you know when you leave a religion or a place you worked at for a long time.

you want to feel that perhaps there will be a missing irreplaceable piece, that represents the effort you put into the work.

you know what i talking about, the comment at work of "this place would be lost without me" or in the religion "i am the main person who encourages field service around here.

GoingGoingGone

I have had 2 very good friends leave the WT. One left her husband for another man... broke up 2 marriages... and the couples were really good friends, of us and of each other. But we loved this girl, and even though this was about 14 years ago, we still miss her and talk about her. My other friend DA'd about 3 years ago. It was really sudden, none of us had a clue. Her best friend is still so emotional about it, she'll start crying if we even mention the DA'd friend's name.

I know that there are some in the borg who form lifelong friendships, based on all the things friendships should be based on. I have some really really good friends. The longer I am away from meetings, the less contact they have. I think that they are limiting contact with me for many of the same reasons that I am limiting contact with them: because when the final break comes, it's too painful to have been best of friends, sharing every thought and emotion, and then have it suddenly cut off.

Stupid cult.

GGG

14

Why some people leave and live and then it hits them

by Lady Lee in

jw
friends

i've read a few posts lately where the people got out of the jws and went off to live their lives.

i went to college almost immediately.

it was hard and sometimes i would think about it and maybe going back.

GoingGoingGone

Funny you should ask.....

My emotions have been all over the map lately. I have lost all my good friends... and I'm not even df'd. No one knows that I have no intention of returning to the WT. I deal with my problems alone. I have to be careful what I post here, lest someone recognize me. My husband is getting angrier and more distant the longer I am away from meetings.

I want my life back. I want my friends back. I have spent a lifetime nurturing friendships that I am now throwing away. I'm so sick of all of this some days, that today I was considering going back to meetings, just to salvage my marriage and to get back the respect and the contact of my close friends... or those who used to be my close friends. I don't think that I actually will, but today, I'm really having a bad day....

Thanks for letting me vent.

GGG