1. Are you open with your partner about your participation on this board?
Absolutely not. He knows I'm up to something, but I would could never tell him what I'm doing, not now anyway.
2. Do you hide your reference materials from your partner?
Yup... A little here, a little there. I thought of putting it all together in one spot, but then if my husband found that one spot, he'd find everything.
3. Have you had any close calls, and if so, describe them?
Lots of them... I don't do sneaky very well... I've gotten more daring the last few months, and I'll go on exJW sites when he's home. Like I said, he knows I'm up to something, but he pretty much leaves me alone. If he's approaching the office, for example, and he knows I'm in here on the computer, he'll talk to the dog or something on his way, sort of to let me know he's coming. Well, a few weeks ago, he suddenly stopped doing that, and I would find him 2 seconds away from being at my side, with the computer screen full of JWD and me IMing 'apostates'... !!! So I would close down everything, and he would say in a disgusted voice, what the heck are you doing??? sheesh.... He doesn't do that anymore, btw.
4. If you are secretive about your anti-JW activities, do you plan on coming clean with your partner at some time?
Absolutely. My husband knows that I am more than willing to share everything I have learned with him, if he can just assure me that he won't go to the elders with the info and have me df'd. I told him this months and months ago, and actually, since then I have questioned the wisdom of dropping everything in his lap like that.... So if he ever DOES ask, he'll get a much more elementary version of what I now know. If he ever does ask, and is leaving the WT himself, he will know everything I have ever done online.
5. If you do plan on coming clean, when do you anticipate doing so?
I agree with ithinkisee here, as far as not offering anything until the believing mate reeeeealy wants it. I will come completely clean when I know that my husband is leaving the WTS, and I will offer the information as I think he can handle it, some things not until he asks specifically.
6. If your partner is aware of your anti-JW activity, how do they react?
When he first became aware that I was visiting anti-JW sites, he was really angry, which is saying something because he's a very laid-back kind of guy. He's gotten used to it now, and now I think his curiosity is getting to him. At times, I think he's dying to know who I'm talking to or what I'm reading. But he also knows that info is off limits to him, for my own self-preservation. I don't think he'll ever leave the WTS just to find out what I'm doing, but the fact that I can be so happy being away from the WT, when I have always been so 'spiritual', is gnawing at him I think.
7. Any stories to share?
I have a ton, but this was one of my first close calls: My husband and I had JUST had the emotional talk, where I told him that I didn't believe it anymore and that I would share all my info with him if he would promise not to go to the elders and have me df'd (of course, he is an elder, but you know what I mean...) So we had a sort of 'understanding'. I had ordered CoC, plus a couple of benign books, to be delivered on a day he was out of town. The delivery arrived on the promised day... minus CoC, which (of course) was shipped a day later, and my husband answered the door when it was delivered. He picked it up and was about to open the package, when I tried to take it from him... he wouldn't let me... so I said, You don't want to open that. He says, Why not?? Trust me, I said, you don't want to open that. By now I had the package... He went off on a rant again, how he didn't know what was wrong with me, what the heck I was doing, etc....... But he didn't ask to see what was in the package, and he never mentioned it again. Good grief... just telling that story has given me a headache... I think I'll go make myself a marguerita....
