lesson 1.2 is here:.
http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/20/126529/1.ashx.
i was going to save this subject for the subject of long term relationships, but it seems that it needs to be addressed before dating starts.
Nosferatu: "I prefer to call this "infatuation" and "being horny" (I still don't know how to do the cut and paste thing properly)
Every woman wants to be made love to and ravished (yes, we are horny also). Most men however are not in tune enough or subtle enough to know how to open a woman (or even read when she is open) so that she is receptive. Merfi's eg case in point.
Decided to come out of the closet just a little bit more (me paranoid - nah!) and say hello to my fellow Aussies : ) Happy New Year.
lesson 1.3 is here:.
http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/20/126614/1.ashx.
i've seen countless men who seem to posess the mindset of "i need a woman to be happy".
Unless you are gay - of course you are aiming at a female audience! And all your advice only 'works' based on whether or not you get a positive response. So some of your male audience may appreciate the feedback of women - positive or not - based on the type of woman they are trying to attract.
Your lessons are limited to your own life experience and your own emotional intelligence. So what works for you will be limited to what your current needs are and how to meet them. By no means am I saying you are limited - just that we all continue to grow and learn and, as we grow our needs respectively change.
Most of what you say is very true and will work for the larger majority of women and I personally have no problems with it (I am not offended or think it is 'wrong'). So for a guy that is inexperienced (and that is your target audience I gather, from your initial postings on this subject) what you have to say has value. It is by no means the last say on it though. I guess what I am trying to say is that there is a world of difference between getting a woman and keeping her.
lesson 1.2 is here:.
http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/20/126529/1.ashx.
i was going to save this subject for the subject of long term relationships, but it seems that it needs to be addressed before dating starts.
Sex and romance never really meet. Romance is in a certain way like a created idea, a mind thing. Example: A man and woman are being totally present sitting having dinner. A man is totally present sitting with a woman and is so present with her and taking in every little nuance of her movement, every little movement of her lips, everything. It is because of his presence that he is taking this in. It is not like he is sitting and gawking at her. He is actually feeling as she moves how her movement cuts the air in the room. He is feeling how, as she breathes out, her breath ricochets through her body. He is that present and aware.
Someone sitting at the next table notices this amount of awareness and how the woman is practically having shivers. She is practically orgasmic at the table. So the person sitting looking on thinks "How romantic". But for the two people involved this is not romance at all. This is called being present. Romance is almost unconscious therefore has developed as a way of mimicking someone who is present.
From that standpoint I would say that sex is something that would come naturally through presence and authenticity. It could never be mimicked, never be performed. It has to be felt and directly experienced. Sex comes out of authenticity and romance comes out of a mental attempt to displace something you are not actually in touch with.
(taken from an interview with Shantam Nityama)
lesson 1.3 is here:.
http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/20/126614/1.ashx.
i've seen countless men who seem to posess the mindset of "i need a woman to be happy".
Nosferatu - I love the sharing of your insights and the beautiful way you convey your experience and meaning. However, I do believe that everything you say is equally as true for women, especially in this thread.
I think people often get confused between gender differences, personality differences and mix them all up with the basic human needs of each and everyone of us. All of us share the same emotions and the same needs, what only differs is the way we choose to have these needs met.
as jws, we weren't supposed to make new year's resolutions.
i secretly did so for years, anyway.
last year, i resolved to give less unsolicited advice.
I find resolutions are better written/conceived if we first write down everything that we are grateful for and all the great things that happened in 2006.
Resolutions can be also negative self-talk, focussing on all the areas we want to fix. And it is much harder to achieve something if we are down on ourselves. So when writing resolutions just check whether they feel inspiring or whether they are just thinly disguised "I am not happy with myself".
I was thinking about this the other day and thought about meetings. So many times you hear people say "I didn't feel like going to the meeting but I am so glad I did afterwards because I felt soooo upbuilt". Next time I hear that from someone I am going to ask them next time to check in with how they are feeling mid-meeting. Because really what happens is that all you hear (or read for the first 3 pages of one of the mags) is down, down, down, negative, negative, negative, fear inspiring, fear inspiring, fear inspiring, and then right at the end they throw you some "GREAT" news and you leave feeling so much better. But hey, what really happened was they took your mood down 10 points and then built you up 3 points and compared to what you were feeling when you were in the fear and negativity, you now feel grateful! Not to mention dependent (this is a typically emotionally abusive scenario).
So my NY's resolutions are just to continue to grow on what I have already achieved and just become more of who I am. I am going to be even more open to life - all of it! I will be more open to love - in whatever form it comes. I will be more open to receiving - because in receiving I am able to give more. I am going to remember more often that I ALWAYS have a choice as to how I feel and at the same time always remain true to how I really do feel (and find strength from the courage I know I have). I am going to love more, dance more, laugh more and find more friends who want to share in the joy of life, rather than the "life's so hard/the world is so bad" mentality.
I wish the same for everyone and may all your other resolutions be effortlessly achieved.
please advise me - can i be spied upon.. i share broadband access with another computer in my home.
the other computer is the main access wireless provider for broadband.
can the other computer be set up in such a way that the apostate sites i visit are noted by the computer user.. hope i'm just being paranoid.. thanks.
I don't have the same experience with two computers but I will share my experience. I was looking on the web for a good five months after I started to have serious doubts. But I kept it secret from my husband. I was so scared to tell him. I knew I had to but didn't even know where to start.
I didn't even know about 'history' on the browser (don't even know if 'browser' is the right term, I am very computer illiterate). And one day out of the blue he just said to me "You have been reading a lot of strange stuff lately?". I don't think he was deliberately spying on me, he just uses 'history' for his own purposes and he happened to see my websites. Anyway, it was the best thing that ever happened. I just told him honestly I was having serious doubts and shared with him something I had recently been looking at (on the blood issue) and that was that. He stopped being a jw alongside me.
I even said to him last night that I can't imagine how difficult it must be for those whose partners still remain a witness - I have so much admiration for you. I don't believe our marriage would have survived - but that's just me.
Anyway, I am just sharing my experience to say, yes, I understand paranoia and nearly everyone leaving gets thrown into paranoia and terror. It is a natural progression as we shed beliefs, not just at the level of the mind but also emotionally. So be cautious, but don't be paranoid - in my case it was a blessing in disguise and it helped my husband leave also.
a few years ago i was in new orleans for a business trip and took some time to check out the area.
very humid, not my cup of tea and i was glad i was only there for two days.
anyway, there is a strong amount of connections in the city with voodoo.
I like what you said Bernadette:
"Does it work with nature and does it promote harmony between people and also with the earth?"
I try and distil most things down to some simple principles - does it support people in a positive way - their spirit, mind, emotions, physical health? does it support the earth? does it open one's heart and mind (or does it close hearts, just appeal to one aspect ie mind or physical gratification - so much of our society just appeals to the left side of the brain)? is it natural? would it appeal to a child/can a child instinctively understand it? is it open and transparent? does it flow easily and is adaptable to change or even being wrong?
In my experience everyone in the end is saying the same thing, just expressing it in a different way. We each have to find which way resonates most with our core. I have stopped listening to the words so much (as I basically hear the same thing over and over again, just dressed up differently) and listen to the person speaking. Are they speaking from their heart? Once you open up your own heart (and for me, that's why I left the jw's, because I couldn't close my heart to my father when he was df'd) and stop being obsessed with always having to be 'right', which means you have to make everyone else wrong, you can just listen to others with all of your body and feel what they are saying, not just listen with your ears.
i wonder if jw's know that society at large finds it disgusting that they prey upon the most vulnerable?
(this is actually a rant i can't elaborate on, but i'm pissed off about it)
"Then they go about seperating people from their families by saying Satan is going to try and stop them from learning "the truth" through their loved ones. How sick is that? "
I often felt that leaving the org must have been like becoming a witness for some people (not really knowing though, having been brought up since birth as jw), having to turn your back on family and friends for the 'truth'.
a few years ago i was in new orleans for a business trip and took some time to check out the area.
very humid, not my cup of tea and i was glad i was only there for two days.
anyway, there is a strong amount of connections in the city with voodoo.
I have gone through similar reservations about ideas like reincarnation or Oneness etc (and I still haven't landed anywhere). I am open to all ideas because I believe we create our own reality - and - "whatever gets you through the night"! But I do wonder sometimes whether I reject some teaching/ideas because of ingrained beliefs since birth (as a jw) or because I just outright think they are wrong/stupid/incorrect/erroneous?
From experience I do know that many many things I have learnt since leaving the jw's I first had to step through fear - sometimes a lot of fear and/or judgment. And fear is generally born from the unknown - we all fear not knowing. So often I thought I 'knew' about something eg wicca, channelling - even the bible etc only to discover that I had such a very limited and biased understanding of it. Even if one is not brought up a witness, so much of our culture is influenced by deeply ingrained 'christian' beliefs and there are many things that are still feared or suspected because of their ancient or pagan origins.
Even though I don't think science is the complete answer either (I believe there is a balance between science and spirituality that can be attained) I think many scientific discoveries have shed light on a lot of things that used to be considered 'suss' or 'flaky' (at best). There is a lot I have learnt through my interest in metaphysics that now has science to back it up - where it was once just in the domain of trippy new agers : )
I am having fun dipping my toe into a lot of waters and other times just throwing myself in head first. But I am cautious not to be too reckless, especially with children as my responsibility. I think for me the hardest thing to get past is still the feeling that satan is watching my every movement to pounce and take advantage of me - how sad!
Zensim
