Posts by Ingenuous

45

Feeling sooo isolated.....

by Michelle5480 in

jw
friends

.

hello to all, i was raised pretty much as a jw and became one of the super goodie two shoes type, you know......didnt even swear when i was alone.. im now disfellowshipped and since i followed the guideline of not having friends outside the organization i now find myself completely alone, my friends are all jw's and none of them can talk to me.

so now i feel lost....on another planet almost .

Ingenuous

{{{Michelle}}}

I've finally reached out to workmates, letting myself actually be an honest friend to them instead of using them strategically while planning for a guerilla witness. They've been great. Online groups like this one are also good, especially if you can find a couple people you really connect with and can exchange phone numbers or make friends close enough near where you live to actually meet.

If you're still interested in the Bible, finding Bible study groups near you or exploring local churches are also another avenue to improving your social and spiritual situation.

All the best!

30

Good Comebacks - Any Help?

by atypical in

jw
friends

i am trying to do the "fade" for the sake of my wife and family, but it is getting extremely difficult.

my wife's cong.

is even more nosy than most.

Ingenuous

Whenever my folks ask me what I've been up to, it's code for, 'Are you studying the Bible with people who aren't JWs? 'Cause if so, we're gonna tell the elders and cut you off.' So I usually come up with something vague, uninteresting, brief but true, and then ask them about them. As was said, people love to talk about themselves - even family.

30

Can JW beliefs contribute to suicide?

by TD in

jw
friends

it may sound like a strange question, but aspects of jw behavior that are incomprehensible to outsiders actually make a morbid kind of sense when viewed through the lens of jw doctrine.

for example, about 10-12 years ago there was a single mother in my wifes congregation.

during the course of conversation, she learned that my wifes grandmother had recently passed away.

Ingenuous

I think the emphasis on works and unrealistic standards can play havoc with mental health, especially with someone who is already very sensitive or predisposed to being a type A.

I was suicidal starting at a very young age (elementary school) and on-and-off until my mid-20s. It'd never occur to me now that I'm out.

30

Have You Seen My Mother... by Bryan Foreword by Dr. Jerry Bergman

by Bryan in

jw
friends

.

Ingenuous

Congrats, Bryan. For your accomplishment and your bravery.

29

Where Are All The "Happy" Witnesses????????? :(

by minimus in

jw
friends

all the jws that i know of look miserable.

they look burdened, tired and hopeless.

do you see any happy witnesses?

Ingenuous

When I was in, I was suffering depression and anxiety. I slowly learned that depression is rampant among the Friends, but that most are putting on a show to hide it. There is still a horrendous amount of ignorance surrounding mental illness within the Org and little sympathy. I learned of a Witness counselor who was booked solid with an all-Witness clientele. Not only are people getting ill, but they are likely uncomfortable going to a non-Witness counselor. And, having seen what happened with my sister and her counselor, all it takes is one run-in with a counselor who suggests the religion could be causing some problems to turn many Witnesses off the idea of going to one. Many who are ill are so under-educated about their condition that they don't know how to work with a doctor to find the right meds.

The happiest seem to be the least likely to think too hard about the whole situation.

26

New Light

by Poztate in

jw
friends

years ago just before my exit from "the truth" i had a chat with my father inlaw about changing and conflicting doctrines in the wt.. i happened to use the word wrong ....wow what a reaction i got.

i was reamed out on the spot.they are not wrong...they are never wrong...... it is "new light" .

in the next hour i could not get him to say or even think the"w" word.. it was very frustrating.

Ingenuous

Anybody else have a "new light" experience??

My Dad called me apostate for saying the Org has published falsehoods in the name of God. Does that count?

99

Shunned again, and you won't guess where. EVER.

by kwintestal in

jw
friends

well, we were going about our business today as we usually do on a monday.

mrs kwin went to work, kids went to school, i stayed home and made apple sauce and beer.

2:30 comes along and it's time to pick up everyone and, oh yeah ... we have that appointment today.

Ingenuous

I second Gerard's statement - a meaningfully severe reprimand would be appropriate.

39

Do you find it difficult to tell your JW parents you love them?

by misspeaches in

jw
friends

does anyone find it difficult to express their emotions to their jw parents?

my father has never been a jw and i feel comfortable enough to tell him how much i love him without hesitation.

when it comes to my jw mum i feel like it is forced and then i feel resentful and then i feel guilty all at once.

Ingenuous

I may love my parents too much, and that's a problem.

We've got no boundaries. I can remember being around them a particular time and feeling like I was part of the Blob - no edges, no unique personality, total and complete amalgamation.

So they've taken my taking issue with the Org personally - because that's the only way we've ever related to each other. It's new and painful for both of us for me to attempt to be a functioning, independent adult. And it'll be even harder when I start telling them that, while I'll always make myself available, I'm not going to tell them everywhere I'm going and everyone I'm going to be with. I've decided that my worship is my business, not theirs, and that this is the perfect way to start asserting my right to privacy and to be treated like an adult.

There's tension between us because of my decision, and the thought of losing them completely because they assume they have the right to judge me totally unravels me.

I'm not sure they'll know how to love me once I make it clear "this is where I end and you begin."

25

Not everyone left the JW Org for the same reason...Why did you leave?

by JH in

jw
friends

some left because they couldn't follow the pace.

some left because they knew they were living a double life.. some left because they rathered live a life of sin.. and some left because they considered it a cult.. i stopped going because i was unable to keep up with all their demands and expectations, and i found them too controling.

also because they cover their past and give false hope for the near future.. why did you leave?.

Ingenuous

I actually read my Bible - and realized I had a conscience that worked on things other than what the Org told me I was allowed to use it for.

22

JWs picking and choosing which rules to follow

by kristyann in

jw
friends

does anyone else find that many, many jehovah's witnesses pick and choose which rules they want to follow?

my boyfriend's parents are jws and i have many, many examples to share with you!

i'd love to hear if any of you have known of similar type things, or if you know any other rules that jws commonly break.

Ingenuous

Now elders can't be bothered, until/unless some rule from the ~~Mishnah~~ elder manual is broken.

LOL

In the congregations I've gone to, none of the things on the list were acceptable except college (as long as you don't talk about it too much) and buying the holiday candy on sale after-the-fact. My Mom is especially fond of those giant Easter eggs with nuts and nougat.