Posts by stillAwitness

24

Were You A Happy JW or An Unhappy One?

by mentallyfree31 in

when you were a witness, were you happy or miserable?.

i feel like i was pretty happy for over 20 of the 25 years.

only the last 5 years and especially the last 1-2 years did i really burn out and just wasn't that into it.

stillAwitness

There were definetly periods I can look back now and say that I was actually very depressed but at the time thought I was just down for whatever reason: not being able to sleep in on one partifcular Saturday morning, having a talk I didn't feel like writing up for, etc. It wasn't till I was finally out for good that I truly came into a good place and realized that life can be enjoyable 24/7 and not just on non-meeting nights.

Twenty-six years later and I can say I am surely filled with happiness now more than ever.Plus it helps that I am in my new apartment with a writing desk that overlooks a large window..ah life is great

53

As You've Gotten Older Have You Changed Your Thoughts On Marriage?

by minimus in

jw
friends

many witnesses got married at a young age (because they felt they had to).

you can't sin, right?.

some people get married and for years, are very happy.

stillAwitness

Indeed. When I was in the Troof all I ever thought about was getting married right after high school, imagining what my dress was going to look like and who was going to finally be able to rip it off me on our wedding night. Then as I got older, started being "bad" and dating guys when I should of been preparing my Watchtower, I was still thinking about marriage but just because of the 'world's' norm that also taught being married is the thing to do (even if the age time frame has changed we still today see being past 25 and single sort of a scary thing)

But here I am at 26, single and loving life. I find that I have two types of friends. The single girlfriends who answer the phone at a moment's notice are down to go catch lunch or go out for a glass of wine. My single friends always seem so much more intelligent and cultured. They've taken road trips and travelled to a distant land or two one summer. I can debate about politics with girlfriends.

But attached woman who are young and married seem like they still have much growing/experiencing to do and don't have the same chances to.

29

Do you ever actually tell your family you're not coming back? What do I do?

by stillAwitness in

jw
friends

i've been "inactive"for four years now.

i am quite proud of myself for making it this far since i moved out on my own at 22 for the first time.

i've remained in school, try to live a balanced and productive life and still drive home to visit my parents at least once a month (they live 45 minutes outside of the city) luckily, my parents and i still remain close (as much as a baptized inactive child and still fanatic jw parents are able to be) and besides my mom's constant pestering about me attending meetings again and coming back to the troof, i haven't had to much stress from them or the elders.

stillAwitness

This all makes so much more sense now! Why risk getting DF'd, or DA'd and really hurt my family when I can simply work to maintain a relationship with them.

However, I do attend meetings from time to time and I do see the risk in this now. While the eldeers don't pester me much when I do go I have noticed that if I happen to attend twice within a month (which happens very rarely. I probably attend a meeting about 4 times a year) they want to talk with me a little longer than usual or ask me more questions about "school" and stuff. But like many people who are probably guilty of this, I do attend an assembly, memorial or meeting on occasion just to make my family happy. But now I see that this is just opening up the floodgates and in the end it does not benefit any of us. But I've always believed attending meetings from time to time can be a good thing (for the family involved). Does anyone else do this?

29

Do you ever actually tell your family you're not coming back? What do I do?

by stillAwitness in

jw
friends

i've been "inactive"for four years now.

i am quite proud of myself for making it this far since i moved out on my own at 22 for the first time.

i've remained in school, try to live a balanced and productive life and still drive home to visit my parents at least once a month (they live 45 minutes outside of the city) luckily, my parents and i still remain close (as much as a baptized inactive child and still fanatic jw parents are able to be) and besides my mom's constant pestering about me attending meetings again and coming back to the troof, i haven't had to much stress from them or the elders.

stillAwitness

and Finally-Free and flipper too! Wow, I'm gonna have to get internet in my apartment. I miss being on board.

29

Do you ever actually tell your family you're not coming back? What do I do?

by stillAwitness in

jw
friends

i've been "inactive"for four years now.

i am quite proud of myself for making it this far since i moved out on my own at 22 for the first time.

i've remained in school, try to live a balanced and productive life and still drive home to visit my parents at least once a month (they live 45 minutes outside of the city) luckily, my parents and i still remain close (as much as a baptized inactive child and still fanatic jw parents are able to be) and besides my mom's constant pestering about me attending meetings again and coming back to the troof, i haven't had to much stress from them or the elders.

stillAwitness

restrangled! nice to hear from you too. my ol' stomping ground. Its nice to know I never have to feel alone in these sort of things and can visit the board for advice

That is where I am torn. A part of me feels I should be honest now and get it over with but my wording would have to be carefully selected so as not to sound like an apostate. Or I simply hope within time they ease up a bit which I think will happen. My mom has periods when she is just fed up with me and will pester me for days about attending a meeting and other times when she is just happy to see me.

I think spending more time with them will help. I feel I am at the point in my life where I want to know my parents on a deeper level. How they grew up, what were they like when they were my age. And yes, keeping topics off anything JW related is something I always aim to do. But sometimes I feel silly when my mom brings up something witness related and I just clam up and don't say anything. I feel she deserves some sort of response from me but I never give her one.

29

Do you ever actually tell your family you're not coming back? What do I do?

by stillAwitness in

jw
friends

i've been "inactive"for four years now.

i am quite proud of myself for making it this far since i moved out on my own at 22 for the first time.

i've remained in school, try to live a balanced and productive life and still drive home to visit my parents at least once a month (they live 45 minutes outside of the city) luckily, my parents and i still remain close (as much as a baptized inactive child and still fanatic jw parents are able to be) and besides my mom's constant pestering about me attending meetings again and coming back to the troof, i haven't had to much stress from them or the elders.

stillAwitness

I've been "inactive"for four years now. I am quite proud of myself for making it this far since I moved out on my own at 22 for the first time. I've remained in school, try to live a balanced and productive life and still drive home to visit my parents at least once a month (they live 45 minutes outside of the city) Luckily, my parents and I still remain close (as much as a baptized inactive child and still fanatic JW parents are able to be) and besides my mom's constant pestering about me attending meetings again and coming back to the Troof, I haven't had to much stress from them or the elders. Come to think of it, the elders gave up on me a long time ago so I'm lucky on the end also.

But my mom did leave me this voicemail the other day and she sounded as if she was crying. She just kept going on about how she feels like her daughter is gone and she wishes she could have her back. I was on vacation at the time with my bf and his family for thanksgiving and it put me in such a sour mood. And it made me feel even worse that there was just no use in explaining it all to him. Like most non JW's, to them its all so confusing and they just don't get it.

I want to let my parents know how much I love them and want them in my life and be able to show them my apartment and maybe even take them out to see the city but is that even possible when you are inactive? I feel like there will always be that damn wall up keeping me from having a strong relationship with my mom and dad thanks to the Society, and it makes me so angry, sad and hopeless.

I can't be 100% honest and tell them I am never coming back to the Troof because then I would risk getting disfellowshipped, right? Its been so long I don't even remember all the rules to the game.

I'd like some advice on the best way to deal with this.

Thank you. I've been a member of this site all these years and to this day I still remember my username/ password by heart. Love you guys!

51

What Were Your Consequences For Leaving The "Truth"???

by minimus in

jw
friends

was it as bad as everyone says, that if you leave the organization, you'll go back to the world, get into trouble and suffer?.

stillAwitness

Its all been good for me too. All I ever wanted was to be independant and have the freedom to live my like the way I want which is what I have. Its funny, cause I think when I ever I do go back to the hall on I imagine all the ones there are staring down at my belly wondering if I'm pregnant yet cause thats what they expect. That I've run wild and am doing drugs and drinking every night.

18

Bound volumes free for the taking

by jukief in

jw
friends

we have several nearly complete sets of watchtower and awake!

bound volumes, from 1960 through the early 2000s, that we need to get rid of quickly.

you can have them for the shipping cost.

stillAwitness

off topic but does anyone know how far back the cd-roms of the bond volumes go?

10

Hello All old and new members..StillAwitness..4 years later

by stillAwitness in

i became a member of this site at 20. i was baptized at 14 but by 16 i realized that the jw religion was anything but the truth and i made it my perogative to seek out ansewrs.

the internet can be a dangerous thing, the society always warns and i soon began to understand their fear against it.

after stumbling on many anti-witness sites like this one i was able to breath a sigh of relief and and realize "ok, i'm not crazy or going to burn in armageddon for feeling this way.

stillAwitness

you too dinah! I must post a pic of my own kitty..I didn't realize how much fun cats are. But there tongues feel like sandpaper

7

Meeting other ex-JWs

by stillAwitness in

how do you meet other ex-jws in your town safely?

i've tried meetup.com, apostafests, but they always only have about 3 or 4 members and they happen to be far away.

stillAwitness

How do you meet other ex-jws in your town safely? I've tried meetup.com, apostafests, but they always only have about 3 or 4 members and they happen to be far away