FWIW, I agree with Terry. It is interesting, Terry that you mention your parole, and the effects that it had on your understanding, spirituality, and person; for you have mentioned in the past why you needed a parole. It doesn't matter how many times we hear something, nor what state of semi-conciousness we might be in, nothing will really make any dent on our brain as data to be used, unless we apply it to something.
Since leaving the Borg, I have become an avid participant in The Church of Cosmic Irony, and I know, I just know, that some time after Terry got back to the KH a discussion or two went down in the back room as to whether Brother Terry should be made a MS or Elder, to which at least one elder had had to remark, "Of course not! Why, he's an ex con! What would people say?"
And there is the difference, the patoots that sit and "listen" and go thru the rote motions aren't really learning anything; and the constant results of their half-hearted efforts will always be to miss the point. It is only AFTER you apply what you've heard, i.e. test it, do it, trust it, that you can really understand it and be said to learn it.
After all, how many times have the slack-jawed, drooling JW masses been told over and over "Let no one mislead you.", and been told by none other than their King, and yet.........