what is it with people who live life like they bought it at a store?
like they know exactly how it is supposed to work, and they live like it too?
like it's so simple.
i know, my wife is like this. they judge others by how much shit they have acumulated
I new there must have been SOMETHING or SOMEONE to have you go off on a rant like that......
Ahhhhh! Feel better now that you got that off your chest?!
Cool, now let's go out and get a cup of coffee and ponder the THINGS that really matter in life.....
like my new car, my new house, my new augmented breasts, KIDDING!! ha ha ha
i read a scientific study a few months ago that stated the women where more susceptible to religion than men.
(i am trying to find this article as i dont like not backing up my claims.
anyway it got me thinking a lot.
This is a topic near to my brain lately. I've been wondering this exact thing for awhile....
Hmmm....my theory is women seem to be affected to "DO SOMETHING" when they are motivated by guilt, fear, or/and shame.
Guys just tend to say - whatever. I'm not lifting my ass no matter how much you want to use guilt, fear, and/or shame.
Women also, in my opinion, like to feel security more so then men. I think security of religion, even if it's a false security, is comforting to a lot of women.
Just my thought........
i was thinking today about my business.
i've been working in the field of educational therapy for the past 4 years, helping children and adults with learning challenges.
in the past year, i started working with infants as well, supporting their first year motor development.
I can totally relate Tall Penguin....I too am in a therapy type job where I have to deal with lots of other people's emotions and that can be draining. I too am looking for a FUN job where I don't have to get so heavy with people all the time. Good for you and your wonderful brain that gives you such grand epiphany's!! Happy ISBN'ng tomorrow!
i just got some news and am still shaking.
my sister died today.
i hardly knew her .
Lady Lee, so sorry for your loss. I have a little sister I helped take care of also. She's 13 years younger than me. She's 19 now and I'm still caring for her in some ways. She is like my own child in some ways. Your sister had much trouble it sounded like. You most likely were a light in her dark world. She was probably very thankful for you. I'm glad she can rest from her sadness now.
Every time I read one of your posts I think you are one incredible person! I am very fortunate to be a part of your giving spirit. Much Love sent to you tonight - FreedomLover
hey all!
i came upon this board as i was trying to find some social doctrine answers regarding jehovah's witnesses.
i've been looking over this board and feel i've found a new home.
Hi Katie - welcome to the board!
LMAO!!!
He replaced the word "orgasm" with "sporgmatic."
"sporgmatic" doesn't even come up when you google it!
This in no way makes light of your situation, I just got a good laugh at this one. Thanks for sharing!
intimacy in a mixed marriage
ok, time for my second poll.
the first one on secrecy struck a chord with many of you.
Okay, I can't believe no UBM's have jumped on this yet.....where are you all!!?? This is the area where I felt the most tension between me and my hubby....
1. When one of you changed your beliefs, did it change the level of intimacy in your marriage, and if so, was it for the better or the worse? I could totally tell SOMETHING was up with my husband when he started to have his crisis of faith. I just didn't know what. He was always a million miles away, distracted, and totally not there even when he was physically there.
2. Can you share your innermost religious feelings with your partner? I am now a non believer also so we have been totally open to sharing new ideas about faith. We are still in this learning and research process and not sure what to believe anymore, but I would be pretty cool with whatever he chooses to believe. He usually always has good reasons for believing something. He usually does his homework before he shares ideas with me.
3. Does being able to share your religious feelings impact your ability to be intimate overall? THis can not be overemphasized enough! I know I've mentioned this in another thread, but I can't believe what a difference not having the "big elephant in the room" has made in our relationship. There is no fear to be truly honest with your partner. Your not worried that your partner with judge you or reject you for a thought or feeling you may have and want to act on it. It's amazing that the very thing I have been taught my whole life, (study, service, meetings, pray together) basically be a good JW couple and you'll be peachy keen, is the VERY things that blocked true intimacy for us because he NEVER wanted to do those things in the first ten years of our marriage and he couldn't tell me that! ( Breathe deep here, and a huge sigh of relief....)
4. I have used the analogy of the "other woman" when describing the influence of the Watchtower Bible and Tract society on our marriage. Hubby also consults "her" whenever he is making a decision. Would this analogy fit your situation, and if so, how does it affect intimacy? I love this analogy because I have never been in the position of an UBM. I was always the BM this past year. I have to tell you though, that it felt exactly the same for me on the other side of the fence. My husband was distracted, uninterested in me, a million miles away. I told him recently I thought he was having an affair this past year! ( The other woman was a bible and all you guys! HA) My best advice is if you want your partner to soften DON"T always be looking for there weak spot to break them. They know you are doing this even if it's on a subconscience level. I found it irritating and annoying, and I couldn't quite figure out what it was that was annoying me, I just knew I didn't like it. Gut feeling thing. Just "BE" with them. Love them unconditionally. Set the proper example in that regard.
5. Does your partner bring Watchtower materials to bed? Just the ones on Kama Sutra, oh wait that's not the WT - my bad! ha ha ha
6. Anything else you would like to share? Jgnat rocks! I love super smart women who like to try to make a difference for other people!
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i don't think i can successfully put a clamp on my mouth if i don't take a break from this place.
i want my wife to wake up, but i think i can't do what that would take if i keep myself up-to-date on all the worst going on currently in dub-land.. i love you all and i will be back, i just have to take a breather.. auldsoul
Take it from me, one of the wives who used to be "on the other side."
Breaks can be good if you are using that time to really try and focus on her. Jgnat says that sometimes the WTS feels like the "other woman" at times, that she has to compete with.
Well, it felt like my hubby had "another woman" also when I was on the other side. He was cold, distant, completely closed off from me at times. I recently told him that I thought he had been having an affair this past year! Little did I know the other woman was a bible to read and all you guys to chat with!! It truly felt like "another woman" had taken all his attention. Just so you know, us wives/women know when you are trying to find our chink in the armor even when you think we don't know what you're doing!
My advice, take a break and just "BE" with her. Don't always be trying to find a way in to crack her faith. She will respond more if you show genuineness and just undivided attention to her!
Enjoy you break and see you soon, - Freedomlover
"unbelieving mates" (ubm's), this is for you.
i'm compiling a tips sheet for brand-new ubm's to help them deal with the stresses and strains of being in a religiously mixed marriage.
help me out by giving me your experience, both good and bad, about secrecy.
Tetrapod -
i can love someone, but if they expect me to deny myself intellectual freedom, i am sorry, but that is not love.
AMEN TO THAT!
I am so sad after reading your post on this thread. I'm so sorry your wife can't see what an amazing, thinking, brave person you have become by critically examining yourself and your beliefs. I find your posts full of wisdom and must insight. It's always amazing to me to see how MOST people CHOOSE to live in a dull, fuzzy, safe, cushioned existence. I find real honesty and NOT having all the answers make for much more interesting people and life!
If it is your desire - I hope you can find a partner one day that fills you emotionally and intellectualy. My wish for you would be for you to have a partner that gets love drunk on your sublime intellect and loves you without stipulations!
FreedomLover
the facts for those who don't know me: 39 years old, former elder, 3rd generation of 4th generation jw family, figured things out september 15, 2004, moved with my 18 year old daughter from michigan to southern california (july 1st, 2005) in an attempt to fade, still haven't told any family or jw friends about my position in this regard.. was back in michigan for a week over the labor day time period.
(i know that was awhile ago.
) i stayed with my older brother and sister-in-law for a couple of days.
You may know this already but just in case......this past summer's District Convention expressed that secular education is AGAIN a big no-no! The drama was all about that. There have since been study articles out about how bad secular education is again. back and forth, back and forth, back and forth - the insanity!
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our creepy new guy .
welcome the infamous one!!
What was so bad with the beanie - I rather liked it!
Welcome, to the board of major creepy ones....ha ha ha....you are in good company at least!
- Freedomlover
