Nina, except for the illnesses and asthma, you've described my 11 year old son to a t. Including the allergies, though.
Clay has A.D.D. Though we put it off for a long time, finally we tried ritalin (only during school), and it did help some. This year though, he wanted to try without it, and he's making it work so far. It does get frustrating sometimes, stacks of homework every night, forgetting his homework or his lunch or something everytime you turn around... But I can say that it seems to slowly get better with time.
I too, would like to hear from anyone else that has dealt with it. Anything we could do to help him would be great.
David