Before I give my advice -- I want you to know that I speak from experience. I was the only one in my family to leave. I was a 5th generation JW and lost 36 family members and even more friends. I decided to DA and leave it all behind and think it was the best thing I have ever done.
Perhaps you could give real Christianity a shot. It would answer a lot of your questions. Having a relationship with God will get you further than anything. I learned how to let Christ take my yoke and what freedom in Christ really means. I know God can really be a caring Father when mine was taken away by the deceit of Saten and his false prophets.
After I found out how to have a real personal relationship with the real God of the Bible, I had strength do do anything. I have not looked back and think it was the best decision I ever made. I have a new church now and even divorced my abusive husband and found a new one. Building a new life -- completely leaving the lies behind is my advice. I realize that with your wife and kids that is probably not completely possible but you can live a life of honesty to them and all who are around you. It will make you spiritually stronger and your kids will know the truth. I always say, "I'd rather be hated for who I am than loved for who I am not."
Now I pray and hope that God helps the rest of my family out of that mess and yours as well.
Renee