also, remember its never too late to start a new life.
i got my bachelors degree when I was 46, just 4 years
ago. it takes effort, but there is a world of opportunities
out there. c'mon let's go
every time we enter a new year, i think about how i wasn't supposed to make it this long.
i really believed we wouldn't live past the year 2000, and armageddon would change everything.
it almost strikes me as living on borrowed time, but then i remember that armageddon is a story, not a reality.
also, remember its never too late to start a new life.
i got my bachelors degree when I was 46, just 4 years
ago. it takes effort, but there is a world of opportunities
out there. c'mon let's go
every time we enter a new year, i think about how i wasn't supposed to make it this long.
i really believed we wouldn't live past the year 2000, and armageddon would change everything.
it almost strikes me as living on borrowed time, but then i remember that armageddon is a story, not a reality.
they told my parents my brother would never start elementary school, that was 1945.
offering hope is fine i suppose, although false hope still seems to do more harm than good.
but to offer hope at a high price, education, experiencing life, decisions on health, children,
etc. thats when it becomes evil.
i am in active but i still attend conventions.
i love rode trips what can i say =].
my life has been horrible.
I am gay and have been an out gay man for 20 years.
During that time I have done a lot of searching and
researching.
I know that being gay is a part of the natural order
of things. It is a state of being.
Animals, including humans, are complex beings. So much
is going on from chemical reactions, to reactions to
social stimuli that all interplay to make us who we
are in our way of doing things.
But I'm rambling.
I believe that in general all living creatures are on
a mission to survive.
There are both malignant and benign ways to survive.
Parasites abound at all levels of living things.
While we do not choose whether or not we have a drive
to survive, as higher primates we are able to make
a lot of choices.
A simple example. Do we survive by making a lot of
friends or by killing our enemies?
I don't like the words good/bad because there is so
much grey area in between.
You can survive and prosper without harming others, either
violently or through deceit, manipulation, social pressure
etc.
I try to always choose ways of prospering that allow others
to prosper along with me and in general that is my
spiritual path.
is it because jehovah is protecting his people from this?
is it because Jehovah is protecting his people from this?
do you ever get nervous making a post, knowing that perhaps you''re going to get "picked on" in one way or another??
?
this board has its own group conscience.
if you violate that you can get whacked.
it's really pretty sad.
i think of my parents, my aunt, and a lot of the old timers that have been in this thing for so long, and i can't help but feel sorry for them.
i mean, how devastating it would/will it be to find out they have been duped all along.
I do have pity for my parents. They have been witnesses for over 60 years.
They made enormous sacrifices in giving up their dreams and hopes for this
life.
No travelling, no education, no adventure. Just service and meetings.
There lives are basically over now at 82 and 85 they have little energy
left.
Almost all their lifelong friends are dead. My parents no longer talk
about their hope for the new earth or living forever. They just talk
about what they are supposed to be doing.
Witness life for them has boiled down to a number of good friendships
made over many years. Hey,that is certainly of value. But you can
hear it in their voices that they know that they haven't lived a full
life, nor has being a witness brought them solace at the end of their
days.
They no longer try to talk me into being a witness again.
I find it very sad. I love them very much.
and petrified... i just recently became a pioneer and always had nagging questions in the back of my mind.
so, i decided that when i have get a study i would research all the questions as i go along so as to prove everything in the truth... i got 4 studies in about 2 months.
all was fine, until i reached i think chapter 6 in the bible teach book about the resurrection.
hi cognac,
the list of paradoxes is unending.
lovers of real truth can't help but see these.
i went to my 2nd aa meeting last night and came away with doubts as to whether this would work for me, so would value peoples opinion especially those who attend aa.. there were one or two there that were quite evangelical, which obviously works for them.
also within the program there is alot of emphasis on god or a higher power.
for many this higher power is the group itself, yet for some it is god.. i spoke to someone sitting by me about this who said that to make sobriety sometimes you have to fake it and go along with the god thing.. at the end of meetings there is a short prayer which i do not want to take part in.
not all AA groups are the same. I went to Alanon for 2 years and it helped with greatly.
The "God" thing is dealt with differently at different meetings.
at our meeting we said the serenity prayer not the Lord's prayer.
i could easily say the serenity prayer because at that time i would have accepted
help from any kind of higher power, no matter how defined.
keep going.
hugs
Joel
there were guys at bethel, who had great jobs........like don brouex.....he was the receptionist at the 124 desk....checking in and "checking out" ......all the bethel tours and "hot" sisters......on there way through the "home tour"............that my friend, is not a real bethel job.. there were guys at bethel, that had great congergations with maybe only 2-4 bethelities in their halls.
one hall, midtown had over 80 bethelites there.............. 3 old ladies 4 kids and a dog.
odds of getting a home cook meal on sunday 0%.
I was in graphotype at the Farm which was the 1st stop on the tour and the first site
of real Bethelites at work for brothers and sisters from all over the world.
I worked at the last graphotyps in the room, so there was plenty of room behind me
for tours to stop. It was my favorite thing about being at Bethel. It was a blast
stopping and talking to people about what I was doing (real exciting stuff, typing
addresses), but sometimes they would be from far away places that seemed exotic
to me and to most of the tour bros. It was great. I am in probaby a 1000 slide shows
titled "Our trip to Watchtower Farms"
I had several friends who had cars so I always had transportation. Which at the farm
was definitely needed. But even if you got stuck on the weekend, wow, what a beautiful
place to be. Great place for walking around, finding a quiet spot and sleeping. I
also became quite a table tennis whiz while there.
My congregation was fantastic. Pt. Jervis New York. It was a beautiful drive there,
but long, which meant Tues and Thurs nights were late late to bed. I never drove so
I got to snooze in the back seat. Sometimes cuddled up nicely between two handsome
guys. Heaven.
There were 10 of us in our congo. But only 6 of us were young single brothers, so
we got lots of attention. One sister fell for me, but alas, I was in love with one
of the Bethelites I rode to meetings with. Which is what got me kicked out.
All those lovely strolls through the shower room on the way home from work. Well
there were actually more frustrating than anything else since while I was at Bethel
I strived to stop um er pleasuring myself.
The Bethel Bureaucracy at the Farm was insane. The rules and regulations were tiring.
If this was a taste of the new system. Yikes! I became extremely disillusioned as
the brotherhood image quickly became an image of a company trying to save money and
squeeze every penny of work out of the workers.
For several weeks, subscription counts were though and so I had to work on the plumbing
crew. Fabulous! I got to work with a broken jackhammer, breaking up concrete in an
old cow barn. It was hard work, but the crew was filled with totally hot guys. Not
to bad a trade off.
After Bethel, I pioneered for another year or so. I completed a total of 2 years of
full time service. Amazing that it was the deep studying I did to prepare for my
Bible studies that raised so many questions that I lost my faith. With no faith
I saw no need to remain celibate anymore. It took another 10 years for me to actually
make human contact, but I had a blast partying and finding myself during those 10
years from age 20 to 30.
Wow. So many memories come out of that 2 year period. I could write a book.
i know many people who are stressed and depressed.
they feel burnt out and anxious.
how have you dealt with such issues?
Here are some mental exercises and practices I use.
1. I try to look beyond what is causing me stress to
something pleasant that is coming up.
2. I try to remember the huge amount of alternatives
to my current course that might bring me more joy.
3. I practice thinking positive in every situation.
I've gone from 0% positive response to negative input
to about 40% positive response to negative input. I'm
getting there.
4. Do things you love. Take care of that creative, curious
person that dwells inside all of us.
hugs to all
Joel