Posts by deneranys

42

My life - a new turn

by InquiryMan in

ive been on the net ever since the miningco, old witnesses.net days and now here on jwd.

it has been an interesting journey.

yesterday my life took a new turn.

I wasn't married for as long as you were, but when I told my husband (we were separated at the time) that I was a lesbian, it opened the way for a new relationship. When he and I divorced, we went together, and we went out to lunch afterward. We stayed friends, and eventually he moved in with my girlfriend and I as our roommate. He and my girlfriend are buds, we are our own unique sort of family. It starts out a little awkward at first, but happiness can happen! I had my first child in December, a little boy, and my exhusband very much wanted to be Daddy. So my son has three parents who love him (Biological father just a sperm donor). I wish you luck with your newfound identity.

8

Restatement

by pratt1 in

.

for those of you that have been dfed - how long did it take you to be reinstated, and how long did you continue to be active?.

i was reinstated after 5 months out and i continued to be active for about 5 years.. although i have to admit, i never felt the same about the dubs after i was reinstated, and should have quit the religion much earlier.

deneranys

My mother had allergies and we sat in one of the back rooms most of the times. I got to watch the D/Fed as they came in and left. They always looked so humiliated... When there was an announcement that someone was D/Fed, the feeling in the hall turned so cold. If the person was there, everyone would turn and look, there might as well have been a search light right on them. It horrified me every time. I grew up with a phobia about disfellowshipping...that ominous announcement in front of everybody. I refused to pretend they didn't exist...I would meet their eyes and smile. If no one was around I would say hi. When I found out the disfellowshipped me, even though I was way past wanting to be a Witness anymore, all my previous fears washed over me...and then I got mad because it was yet another control method, proved effective. There's no way I could return to the Witness song and dance in order to get reinstated. After the 3rd meeting I'd probably strip off all my clothes and scream profanities.

54

Did anyone actually enjoy field service?

by Check_Your_Premises in

.

did anyone ever actually admit it if they hated it?.

cyp

deneranys

I enjoyed service until I was about 12 years old. I was/am a sensitive sort, and I would always be paying attention to the others in the car group. When a person really HATED service, but was pretending to enjoy it, there I was, the kid in the back seat, acting normal but feeling the weight of repressed emotions. Service terrified me. I was OK at the doors, but I was constantly putting myself in the shoes of the householder. Return visits were what I loathed the most. I was always pressured to return to people, even though I felt that they didn't WANT me to return... And when I went to other people's return visits, most of the time I would see this poor nice person, in agony but too polite to tell us to go away...and then on the way back to the car I'd listen to my partner ooze about how *wonderful* their call was. Service did do one good thing, though: I can have a full out panic attack, and unless you are an extremely perceptive person, you can't even tell. Yay. What skill.

17

Another question about JW

by Shazard in

as i never been jw i can't understand why some of you bother writing some letters.

if being in wt is not legaly binding (as i understood that baptism is not legaly binding), then who cares about writing.

just stop going to kh and that's all.

deneranys

Although I wrote all of my friends and family, I didn't write the elders when I first left because I wasn't sure yet what I wanted and I didn't want anything *FINAL.*

Then my sister announced she was getting married, and for one reason or another, no one in the family was going to go. Even though I no longer believed and didn't want to be a Witness at this point, I held off writing any letters so that I could go to my sister's wedding and she would have someone there for her.

After getting back from her wedding, I immediately wrote a letter of disassociation, because being around witnesses after getting out was most traumatic, but before I could revise it and type it up, I got an email. The name on the email was an elder's wife's name, but when I opened it up, it was the Service Overseer writing me. He told me I had 2 choices: accept counsel or disassociate myself.

I was royally pissed off, and then I refused to send a letter. Why was he trying to "trick" me into opening an email? And who was he to make demands?? So I didn't do anything.

Somehow they found out I was pregnant A YEAR AFTER I CEASED HAVING CONTACT WITH ANY OF THEM, and they disfellowshipped me. I'm not sure how they did this according to their rules, because they never contacted me about it--I found out fourth hand.

27

A survey

by deneranys in

i just joined this forum, for two main reasons.

1-i've been feeling the need to talk to some ex-jw's out there.

i feel like i've only been alive for 2 years, and it's hard to feel normal around the public.

deneranys

DARN IT! I made paragraphs...where did they go??

27

A survey

by deneranys in

i just joined this forum, for two main reasons.

1-i've been feeling the need to talk to some ex-jw's out there.

i feel like i've only been alive for 2 years, and it's hard to feel normal around the public.

deneranys

I know that establishing validity in this test is high nigh near impossible. The survey isn't the basis for most of my research, I have peer reviewed psychological articles concerning studies on adolescents, religion, etc. that I will be using to assert my theories. Surveys in general, and surveys that give you only a limited choice for response aren't that accurate, usually. (People lie, lie, lie for one, and giving choices prompts the person.) I most certainly would not use data of this sort in my master's thesis, but for the purpose of this paper, it serves to show that I have gathered data from more than just my own thoughts and experiences, and establishes some credibility for me. Plus there are a few other things...but I don't want to put too many of my thoughts down because I don't want to unduly influence anyone's unfilled-out survey. Suffice it to say that all data gathered by the survey will be qualified.

9

WTF was I thinking...

by DigitalFokus in

it's in 330ish in the morning and i can not sleep.

my mind has been racing due to my impending move to nowheresville,mn where my roots lie.

and i was thinking of all the dumbass shit i have done, and its makes me ponder "wtf was i thinking then and how in the hell did i make myself believe that doing whatever was a good idea".

deneranys

In five years, you'll look back, but I doubt that moving to be with your son will be one of those a-hole moments that we all seem to have...

11

I served under Knorr at Bethel and what Samuel Johnson said applies...

by Boxed elder bugs in

i served under nathan knorr at bethel during the seventies and what the writer samuel johnson said applies to him, "he is not only dull, he is the cause of dullness in others.".

the only time he wasn't a dull montone voice on the bethel t.v.

was when he was berating some 'new boy' for some minor transgression.

deneranys

I've often tried to figure out what was in it for the leaders of JW's. If your real goal is spiritual contemplation...you don't head religions, you run away all the time like Jesus did. Most other religious leader cash in on all the $$$$, but as nearly as I can tell, the Governing Body and President and all the others don't go that route. So it must be about the power...why publicly humiliate someone? Because you CAN. Yikes. I'm glad I never went to Bethel...

27

A survey

by deneranys in

i just joined this forum, for two main reasons.

1-i've been feeling the need to talk to some ex-jw's out there.

i feel like i've only been alive for 2 years, and it's hard to feel normal around the public.

deneranys

Hello! I just joined this forum, for two main reasons. 1-I've been feeling the need to talk to some Ex-JW's out there. I feel like I've only been alive for 2 years, and it's hard to feel normal around the public. The second reason is that I have a survey that I would like those of you who were JW's as adolescents to fill out. A little bit about me first: I skipped 8th grade because of some high test scores, but like many JW's in my area, I ended up taking correspondence high school. Unlike most of them, I did my work and I graduated when I was 14. Oh but the pressure to pioneer was ON me then. I went to community college for awhile, and I did excellently...I loved school so much...but it was disheartening in the end. I looked and looked at the degrees that a community college offers you...and I didn't want to BE any of those things. I wanted to be a Psychologist. But I wasn't allowed, of course. Eventually I gave up on the whole idea of college--it was too depressing. I remained a Witness because of my mother and because of my guilt. I never expected to survive armageddon because I didn't feel I was good enough. I attended all the meetings as an adult, I studied, I read my Bible, I even pioneered there at the end...but I never felt worthy. I wore every sin inside my soul and since I was terrified of elders and would never confess to anything even if that meant my death, I continued to have my sins weigh against me. The worst year of my life ended with me leaving "the truth." I was married at 18, and that came to a crashing end when I was 20. I didn't have any grounds, though. My mother told me it was my duty to Jehovah to stay married, and if I was miserable, that just proved my integrity. This was my TEST. I tried my best to stay with a man I no longer loved...but it was killing me inside, and I really started to question the religion. (It's not like I didn't know about tons and tons of corruption...child molesting elders and the whole bit, but I put my faith in Jehovah to judge like a good little Witness.) I left my husband, left the religion, and I did the things that I wanted to do most. I had a baby (he's two months old) and I went back to college. I am planning on staying in college until I have a doctorate in Psychology, too. Now, on to my survey. In Developmental Psychology, there isn't a Final, only a final paper. I want to write mine on the development of identity in adolescence, specifically the similarities and differences between the development of a JW teen and a nonJW. The more people I can get to take my survey, the more data I can collect, and the better my paper will be. Any takers? Since the survey does have a question or two about sex and drugs, I will simply give you my email and those of you interested can email me for the survey. [email protected] I love to write so ask questions if you'd like!

27

Wonder their reaction

by FallenOne in

i am moving soon to pennsylvania and no one will know i live there.

i've always had a great desire to play some tricks on the poor jabba's witnesses stuck out in street work and liven up thier drab routine.

here are some thoughts, what would your reaction be.. .

deneranys

Yeah, I've been on the receiving end of a few naked people back in my door-to-door days. What I'VE always wanted to do, is really invest some time into it...I live in a different town now, so the Witnesses wouldn't know me. I've had fantasies of feigning ignorance and interest, agreeing to a study, and requesting someone my age. (Early 20's) Then getting excited over the message, but asking innocent questions. Ask about 1914, and get the hokey, Bible-numbers-secret-message answer, and then next study, show the archaeology findings that blow that doctrine out of the water and ask my study what it means. Innocent eyes. I know that it's slightly perverse to fantasize so about screwing with a poor brainwashed mind... And out of the original choices, the laughter would be the most devastating, I think. When I was a Witness, if that had happened to me, I would have had trouble going out in service again for weeks and weeks. deneranys