Posts by Nowman

I agree with what others have said. I think its important that people appreciate things, surprises once in a while are great, but when it becomes a demanding sort of thing, it sounds very selfish. Not good. When you have to ask about a limit, its time to question the relationship.

Nikki

14

Can Somebody Tell Me What This is?....:)

by Legolas in

jw
friends

again that is this thing..... :).

is it supposed to be a face or what?.

.

Nowman

Yes, its suppose to be a smiley face. But now, when your emailing or perhaps working on Word, etc, if you hit colon, then ), a smiley face should automatically come up...Granted, I never read this, I am just thinking logically, so if I am wrong about this, I ll be shocked.

Nikki

33

The Watchtower Societya Woman's Perspective

by The wanderer in

jw
friends

the watchtower societya woman's perspective often times, i wondered how the sisters viewed the organization.. there will be two or three inquiries regarding this discussion so.

any information regarding it would be appreciated.. the way the sisters dressed according to the way the society viewed women what did you.

think about there standards regarding the dress code?.

Nowman

Hello Wanderer....

DRESS CODE....Im a woman so I love clothes. My parents were very strict on what I wore, so I was not a big fan of the dress code. So, when I left at 18, I went shopping, and bought my 1st mini skirt, not too short though, but above the knee. I loved the fact that I could wear what I wanted after I left the org, I still appreciate this after 14 years!

VIEW OF THE BROTHERS....I was boy crazy, so I just loved the boys. As far as the men were concerned, there were some I admired, but some I thought were just on a power trip, including my father.

SUBMISSIVENESS....My mom was a victom of this with my father. He had control of everything even with paint colors for decorating. She was not allowed to have an opinion. Looking back, I felt like I could not stand up to my parents and that I could not have opinion either. So, when I left, my parents were so shocked that Nikki would up and leave. My mom later divorced him, and told me more stories that were just awful. How sad for the past, but how wonderful now that she and I have our freedom.

Submissiveness is not really one of my strong points but I think my husband likes that about me. I have my own thoughts and opinions. I look to my husband for protection, love, and security, but he would not want me to agree with everything he says, he likes the challenge. And so do I.

Nikki

56

What Emotion Do You Have Now Because You Were One Of Jehovah's Witnesses?

by minimus in

jw
friends

are you angry that you ever got involved in this religion??

depressed??

confused??

Nowman

I went through different emotions, currently its relief.

1. When I 1st left the org, I was excited about my new life. I was excited to do "worldly" things, like a date with a boyfriend without intentions to marry him. Or, wear a "worldy" outfit and go out and buy clothes I would never have worn had I been a strong JW. Plans to go to a party where I could drink. Basically, everything that was never allowed to do through my teen years, I was on a mission

2. Still new to the world, but got alot out of my system as I stated in #1. Then, I started to miss my parents, and my heart started to break a bit. Then I became very angry at my parents. I had an eating disorder that was getting out of control, I didn't care. I dabbled in some drugs and didn't care. Because of my disorder, when I drank, I was a basket case. When I had too much to drink, I would purposely hit walls, try to jump out of cars, and I would sob. What I am stating here is something that I knew I was doing to myself but I never wanted to talk about it. The "next day" was a "new" day. I thought I would start all over every day.

3. As a few years went on, still no word from mom and dad. I realize now, I did everything with a obsession. I was a work-a-holic, I was party-a-holic, I was a social-a-holic, I was a shop-a-holic, I was a debt-a-holic, I was "aholic" person period. I had to do everything to the extreme. I realize now that I was falling apart.

4. I became pregnant with by daughter 5 years after I left the org. I was feeling ok about it. I had gotten myself healthier too, my life was more stable. I had my daughter, and we then moved back to Illinois from Colorado. Yet, looking back, I still had some deep rooted issues that I couldn't put my finger on. I was still angry at parents for not wanting to talk to me or meet their grandchild.

5. 7 years out of the org, I was pregnant with my 2nd child, a boy. There was still something that made me feel angry everyday. Not too long after my son was born, my mom was DF'd!!! I couldn't believe it. I would have her in my life again! Well, it was terrible at 1st, there were some bad things that happened that mirrored my childhood, and I became more angry at her. Please understand that I didn't realize my mom was sick, worse off than me.

6. So, 8-9 years out of the org, I am still feeling the effects of it. Why? How come I couldn't get over this thing that happened to me? After all, I was successful, I had two beautiful children, I had a decent husband who loved me. There still was something I was struggling with. I was so wishy washy. I couldn't just have things in my life calm, there had to be some type of disappointment in order for me to feel that my life was in order. So, I decided to up and get divorced. I realized all of sudden I did not love my husband anymore. Just like that. What the hec was wrong with me?

7. 9-14 years out of the org. I have just grown up. I realize that I needed to take control of my life. I needed to stop thinking about shoulda, coulda, woulda. I needed to make the best of things, I had that ability. I just didn't want to ruin my life anymore over the org even while I was out. I healed. I started to look forward to the future. I started to have peace. Then came the appreciation for coming to my senses. Now I am just relieved. Today, I am happy.

Sorry, I wrote a book. I really wanted to share my stages. I never wrote them down before.

Nikki

16

Where I stand...

by Justice-One in

jw
friends

i guess its good that i now know where i stand with at least one of my disfellowshiped sons.

) i told him (in a joking tone just to feel him out) today that i really would like to know the names of the brothers on the committee that df'ed him.

he asked why, and i told him that i thought they might like a gift subscription to playgirl.

Nowman

Its funny, something similiar happened to me not too long ago...

Ran into an old JW friend at a restaurant while out shopping with girlfriends. Hadn't seen her in 15 years! to make a story short, we got caught up...I came to find out that she had just been released from prison the day before, she was doing some serious drugs, had no plans to change her life style, and she was with her sugar daddy. This is one beautiful girl with a very messed up life come to find out...anyway, I tell her about JWD and other sites. She is offended I go to these sites! I am thinking to myself "you are going to judge me" when I have sat here and listened to her talk about her messed up life and I have no judgement towards her, I just felt sorry....That was the end of the conversation, she was still messed up in the head with the JW apostate thing....That was the last we talked...

Nikki

4

Friday 13th snow hits the upper midwest and NY.

by AK - Jeff in

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20061013/ap_on_re_us/october_snow.

we had a little here - no accumulation.

just a few miles north a different story.. jeff .

Nowman

Yesterday, here in northern Illinois, we had blizzard like conditions in the morning, the snow stuck a little bit. When I drove to work this morning, there were little patches of snow all over...its a little early but still looked beautiful today!

Nikki

23

How significant was the 1995 bombshell - generation?

by jambon1 in

jw
friends

i was wondering what effect the article on the generation change had on most people here?.

for years, the trump card on the ministry when replying to the "it will never come in my day" objection to armageddon, was the doctrine of the generation.

many jw`s probobly held back from making important financial comitments.

Nowman

I had left the org 3 years prior to this change, but when my mom and I started talking again in 2000, I did ask her how she and my father felt about this, and my mom said she just went along with it and her and my dad did not discuss it. Interesting.

Nikki

12

All of the Lost Loves

by Sparkplug in

jw
friends

today i was typing out thoughts on a thread and it struck me.

i have not seen my one sister in 20 years.

she has missed out on one of my children completely.

Nowman

Have not seen my dad since October 1992. 14 years. He is still an active JW.

Nikki