I just want Minimus to know that I love Ryan Seacrest. I thinks he is adorable. Yet, my hubby is cuter, in a "nerdy", "metrosexual", non-macho sort a way.
Nikki
when i turn on the tv, i see so many fem men that i'm realizing that a 'manly" man seems to be a relic of the past.. metrosexuals rule the world now.supersensitive males who are in touch with their feminine side are the norm.. the john waynes & burt reynolds have been replaced with ryan seacrest lookalikes.. ladies, do you find these metrosexuals all that attractive?
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I just want Minimus to know that I love Ryan Seacrest. I thinks he is adorable. Yet, my hubby is cuter, in a "nerdy", "metrosexual", non-macho sort a way.
Nikki
usually the one that doesnt want to be friends anymore wont recognize his/her part in the failure.. in jg wifes thread about being friends with your ex the above comment was made.
in failed relationships it's usually both parties that share the blame.. in the past three years since my divorce i have come to except my part in the break-up of our marriage.
i have identified areas that i need to work on to be in a healthy relationship.
Hello Kerj!
I am responsible for the break up of my 1st marriage. I took the steps to do it. I told him I wanted a divorce. He is not a bad person, and yes at some point we were in love. The 1st 5 years, there was a huge physical attraction. Yet, at some point in our marriage, I became bored of him. It was difficult because I felt guilty for my feelings changing for him. We had two children together. I never set out to have an affair, but I knew that he was not the person I wanted to be spend my life with. After the divorce, I really had no intent to marry anyone else due the fact of "what if my feeling change again"?
Although, I am not "friends" with my ex, we too have put the best interests of our children 1st. This means keeping my mouth shut once in a while and leading by example.
Taking repsonsibility is difficult but it takes a load off, makes the guilt go away.
Hope all is well with you!
Nikki
a few weeks ago i had a conversation with my mother (still a jw).
she told me that one of my fave elders, who was disfellowshipped a few months before i disassociated three years ago, just got reinstated.
now, to know my mother is to know that she doesn't give you information unless she has an underlying motive.
Mothers...I am currently frustrated with my mother, and really do not know what to do. In summary, I lost contact with my mom from 92-2000, we reunited when she eventually was DF'd. Anyway, for 8 years we have tried to have a relationship. Its not normal, nor did I expect it to be with so much time lost at a critical growing point in my life.
So, it has been up and down with her for 8 years, she just came in on the 4th of July. The last day came around, we were outside together along with my aunt, my husband and 1 year old daughter were in the house.
My mom and I give each other hugs, I am thinking that she is still going to go inside and say goodbye to my husband and daughter (she lives in Arizona). My mom starts walking down the driveway with my Aunt, my Aunt looks at her and says, aren't you going to say goodbye to Jeremy (hubby) and Delanie (1 yr old)? My mom then says, "I can't" and they continue to walk down the driveway and thats it, have not heard from her since.
I know this is because she is inconsiderate and selfish. Frankly, I think she is a coward.
I am just saying that I understand what it feels like to be hurt by your mother. Whether a JW or a forner JW.
I just will not be like my mother.
With love, Nikki
see "the dark knight?
" i just got back, and i recommend it.
joker absolutely owned the part.
I saw it and it was awesome. Thought Heath Ledger was awesome, but there was so much hype about it, that I was actually more excited watching Christian Bale. It was reported today that he had been arrested in London for assaulting his mom and sister. Does not say much more, meaning "why". I was bummed to see that, I am a fan of Bale...I wonder if we will find out he had a bad reaction to alchohol (maybe he is one to get mean after drinking too much?).
Nikki
jws say they are clean and pure and undefiled and not like the world but in reality there are those that do very evil things and they either have fallen through the cracks, have gotten disciplined or disfellowshipped.. we realize that just because a person says they are a christian, it doesn't mean they will always act like one.. regarding pedophiles, do you believe that jws have a huge problem involving an infestation of pedos?
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Honestly, I have been out for 16 years. I did not even know there was a pedifile issue with the JWs until I discovered silent lamps, early 2006. Not to mention, my mom had informed me about the same time (early 2006) all these people she knew that had been molested growing up, I was so shocked.
I have spent the last couple of years being shocked at what I read here (I read more than post lately), I definitely know more about the JWs, then when I was in.
Nikki
so how did it go some have asked?
at some point the lady therapist asked me what was probably my number one concern....it just came out...."i don't know if i can stay married to a jw"...wife burst into tears...and never let up...not even on the way back to drop me off at work...i also said in session i would prefer an open minded wife, and i don't think wife would pick me now either...not an unbeliever, not an overdrinker, and that marriage to me meant being able to share pretty much everything with one another, my feelings, my friends, my concerns, and that i did not like living a double life...and explained what that was too......she of course said she would stay in the marriage, and mentioned the adultery only rule...so i said it sounds like she feels she is stuck with me...she said it sounds like our marriage is already over....the lady says she does know for a fact that jw's do indeed get divorced without sex sins...cause she has counseled more that one couple like us...one in, one out....that ended with divorce.
i did say nice things about her...said the things i love.....and vice verse...and we both said we wanted the marriage to work....so at least a good basis for continuing the sessions.....the lady wants us to find common ground and just ignore the religious difference for now...i said great but how can we do that when the religion is all encompassing to my wife...it is everything....i will be glad to go to the ground if she can find it....but she never got a chance to find it yet...we ran out of time.
oompa,
I do belive in time you will know what you want to do, what is best for the situation. Unfortunately, your mind set is out of the org now, even though you are still dealing with the after effects. From reading your posts, this is still a fairly new life for you. I can only imagine how tough it is to be married to a mind-set JW. Its not her fault though, she really believes in it still, and probably feels like she will die at Armegedon if she even considers to question the org (she maybe already but is not ready to admit yet).
I too feel that she is using the mental state (bi-polar) against you somewhat, but she is hurt and will try to say things that will get to you. I think you are putting forth a great effort to make it work, while at the same time, you are getting your feelings out in the open. Only time will tell what you need to do that is best for you and your wife.
Best wishes to you!
Nikki
sorry this has turned out longer than i thought.anyway i lived the life of a single mother fell away from the organisation,and eventually met a (worldly) guy who is the most loving guy i have ever met,my best friend,lover and soulmate.i was disfellowshipped 4 months ago because we live with each other and plan to get married in september,unacceptable to the society hence my disfellowshipping.it has broke my mum and dads heart and im so so sorry for this,i love them so much,but no longer want or believe in the jw beliefs.
i still believe in god but dont know where im bound as regards my faith,i really do want to have something.
apart from my mum and dad and the shunning arrangement im so happy,the happiest i have ever been in years,and my 2 youngest ones are happy as well..my eldest daughter is 16 and planning on getting baptised in july which is tearing me apart,she is so like me,but is being brainwashed by a certain crowd of witnesses,need i say anymore...my eldest son who is 18 isnt in the truth and feels the same way i do... anyway thanks for this forum and hope to hear from likeminded friends soon.
Welcome to the board, I was touched by your brief story and understand it completely.
Nikki
what do you think, either way?
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Libertyville, Illinois....this hall was known in the circuit/district to be very stiff. I went there for about 5-6 years, moved to northern Illinois from Chicago. I was an only child, and there were hardly any people my age. Just a stiff atmosphere.
Nikki
Yes, I really think so because today I decided to be agreeable
ok heres the scenario.. i met this girl about 12 months ago, we dated for around 6 months then split up (another story).
we have started seeing each other again for around 3 months now.. the problem is, if i can call it a problem, she has two kids, whereas i have three that i see on thursdays and saturdays.
her ex has her kids every other saturday.
I met my second husband 8 years ago. I had 2 young kids, he did not have any. We only saw each other every other weekend, maybe a few weekday nights, it was hard because we BOTH wanted to see each other so bad. I too did not want him to meet my kids because the relationship was new. After 6 months, he told me he "wanted to meet my kids as soon as possible, and could it be this weekend"? I will never forget that, he truly wanted to meet my children, we BOTH had fallen in love, but we took our time (I was newly divorced).
If she really wants to spend time with you, she will make time. If 2 people really want to be together, they BOTH make it work. I would get closure with her.
Nikki