jwcol

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Posts by jwcol

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  20

  Jehovah's Witnesses, Child Abuse and Love

  by Big Tex in

  1. watchtower
  2. child-abuse

  in reading thirdwitness of late, i am reminded now how painful it was to deal with that level of cold, harsh denial.

  for those innocents hurt by this strange, mean little sect i submit ...

  october 8, 1993 awake: tragically, adult society often unwittingly collaborates with child abusers.

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  jwcol

  I was never sexually abused, but I was savagely physically abused by my step father, as was my brother. We found out later my younger sister was molested by him from the age of 2. He threatened her that he would kill all of us if she said anything. She was abused from the ages of 2 to about 9. I was between the ages of 4 and 11 during this time. He was extremely violent and we were scared to death of him. He was careful to never hit our faces so nobody would know. He was so charismatic, nobody would believe that he was capable of what he was doing. Sadly, because we were raised in this environment, we thought we deserved the treatment. My mother should have left sooner, but back then, you didn't leave your mate, no matter what. She went to the elders many times, but all they did was call her a liar. Finally, she brought my brother and I in before the elders and showed them the severe bruises that were always had. She wanted permission to separate, that's all she wanted. She didn't want to be reproved or disfellowshipped for separating from him. They all called us liars and were disgusted with us and how we could make such false accusations against such a wonderful brother as my step father. I told them I would never speak to an elder again....I was 10 years old.

  Even at that young age, we could see my mother was losing it. She was plotting to kill him. She didn't feel we could safely get away, and the only way would be for him to die. My brother and I convinced her that we could leave and get away safely. We waited for our chance. He had to take a trip to NY. During that two weeks, we moved everything out. A single sister let the 4 of us come stay with her in her house. Then we stayed with a woman she worked with. We lived in constant fear for the next few years, always looking behind us, waiting for this monster to find us. The elders treated all of us like we were disfellowshipped. That was over 20 years ago, and a couple of the brothers that were on that body STILL shun her.

  About 10 years ago, my sister admitted that she had been molested by that step dad and the one after that one. My mother went to an elder in his hall to let them know, in accord with an article that came out about that. The elder said "why are you burdening me with this??"

  Where is he now? He's in my district, in good standing. I can only hope the brothers in his hall keep an eye on him and protect the young ones that are there.
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  60

  Recommend a GOOD film - no snakes, planes or spandex superheroes.

  by nicolaou in

  1. social
  2. entertainment

  it's been out a while and i know it's already been commented on here but i really enjoyed the village.

  the creation of fear and the control that it allows must surely strike a chord.. recently i saw christian bale in the machinist.

  bloody awesome!

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  jwcol

  
  One of my favorites is "Primer".

  It was shot for less than $7000 and is definitely a thinking persons movie. There is usually one copy on the shelf at Blockbuster.

  It's about two guys that invent a time machine in their garage and the unknown implications with using it.....

  You'll have to watch it at least 3 times to get what is happening, and then look up some forums online to piece it together.
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  31

  Wanting a new computer, and a new OS

  by Nosferatu in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i'm still running win95, and it has been good to me for the past 8 years or so.

  unfortunately, it seems that win95 is officially becoming obsolete, especially with browsing the internet.

  some websites require ie6 or newer, and win95 can't run it.. so, i'm thinking about getting a new computer, or even a used one that isn't too far behind the times.

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  jwcol

  
  Great topic!

  I'm a Linux Administrator and there is no doubt, for servers, I would run Linux any day of the week. There is no comparison between the stability of Linux and Windows. We use SLES9 and the footprint of Linux systems in our data center continues to grow. I've noticed this year when sourcing software, most vendors have a Linux solution, so it makes it easy. The licensing alone saves a bundle when compared with access licenses to Microsoft OSes.

  I've been running Linux at home for about 5 years. I wouldn't say I'm hard core, but I'm fairly knowledgeable. I've tried every distribution out there on all different kinds of hardware. I run Suse 10.1 on my work laptop because we run SLES9 on the servers. It's just easier to stay somewhat consistent. I can do pretty much everything on my laptop I need to. There are some limitations and it definitely isn't as easy to get things going like on a Windows system. I'm probably going to load SLES10 on my laptop just to be consistent, but I've been tempted to blow it away and try running Ubuntu for awhile. Suse really has problems with patch updates.

  Simon, I think you are absolutely right. Linux was supposed to "take over the world" including the desktop years ago. The problem is caused by what makes Linux so great...free software. All these people maintain bits of software that are congealed into an operating system. Dependencies and patches can be a nightmare to solve for the casual user. In that way, the gap between Linux and Windows is widening. For the corporate desktop, switching to Linux is realistic. The first step at our company to make the change is switching 4000 desktops from Office to OpenOffice, which is in progress and is going well. It's going to save us a ton of money.

  I almost bought an Intel Mac last year when I bought my laptop, but I backed out at the last second. There didn't seem to be a viable GPS program at the time and I needed my laptop for that.
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  65

  IF YOU COULD GO BACK IN TIME WOULD YOU MARRY YOUR SPOUSE?

  by Dansk in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i've been thinking a lot about this lately and i would unhesitatingly say 'yes!'.

  we've had our ups and downs - almost always my fault .

  my god, how our upbringing can affect us!

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  jwcol

  No.

  Well, I've been divorced for 8 months, so I don't know if this counts, but I was married for 14 years.
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  47

  Snakes on a Plane...for or against?

  by jgnat in

  1. social
  2. entertainment

  i admit it, i'm not cool.

  i miss the trends.

  i don't notice a new fashion until half the women in this city are draped in it.

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  jwcol

  Only one reason to see SOAP:

  Samuel L. Jackson

  If he wasn't in it, NOBODY would see it...HE'S the cult icon.
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  18

  Gen Xers--Who remembers when Smurfs were Demonic?

  by apostawriter in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  when word came down that a smurf jumped up in the middle of a meeting, yelled 'i've had enough of this shit!

  ' and stormed out, i was probably 9 years old.

  at the time i had a smurf record.

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  jwcol

  I remember that too, LOL.

  I also remember it was said on stage, maybe even at a convention, can't remember that the name of the band RUSH meant "Riders Under Satan's Hand". Everyone was scared to listen to that demonic music. I got older and listened to Rush and it's the most wholesome music on the air, no sex, no drugs, no demonism, nothing at all. Songs about trees, guitars, cars, music, that's it.
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  14

  relationship in trouble because of watchtowers pathetic rules

  by NoAnswers in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  hey guys i need some help with some research about oral sex.. there is a recent article, that talkes about it.

  so know this has had a impact in my relationship with my wife.. i want to show her that they have changed there minds many times regarding this.

  i need a little help with some info.. to think about this gets me so angry because of many posts i have read that the wt ruins lifes.. especially dannyhazzard and many others.

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  jwcol

  
  
  
  
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  27

  Do Sex Offender Laws Go Too Far In SOME Cases?

  by target in

  1. watchtower
  2. child-abuse

  a young man of 20 has sex with his willing 17 year old girl friend.

  her parents find out and press charges.

  now he is a sex offender.

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  jwcol

  I worked with a girl that was going to get married to her boyfriend of a year. Before her, he had hooked up with a girl that apparently had a fake ID and was 17. They met at a bar, so she shouldn't even have been in there. He was in his mid 20s. The mom found out something had happened and called police and had him arrested. He went to jail for 2 years. The girl I worked with had to visit him in jail and wait until he got out to marry him. They did get married though and it's all behind him now...except for being a sex offender.
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  15

  Shunning

  by choosing life in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i was reading stories about various ones on the board who are being shunned by loved ones.

  i am officially being shunned as of today by my daughter because i refuse to shun her.

  she was just disfellowshipped.how do you get past the hurt?

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  jwcol

  The original purpose was as a last resort for persons who didn't want to change. The purpose today...what it has evolved into is a far cry from it's original intent. Today, it's used for punishment. It's based more on what you did and what you deserve as a result. My elder body went over the mosaic code with me, and Jehovah's standards and how there HAD to be punishment and consequences. The said I WAS repentant and turned around, but I HAD to be punished by disfellowshipping, there was just no way around it. I honestly think it's one of those things where it is a tool that is used to see if people will sink or swim...leave or work through the reinstatement process, and also scare others in the hall. I think they feel they "need" a disfellowshipping every so often in every hall just to keep people in check. I would just reeeeeally like to take a look at the "Pay Attention" book and see what it says on the matter. I wonder if it's different from what is outlined in the mags....and the Bible for that matter.

  I like how they explain that there is no minimum time period for disfellowshipping, but it's never sooner than 6 months to a year. If you're going to specifically kick a person out for a certain period of time, just be honest and let them know how long it's going to be instead of saying "yes, you are repentant, no, there is no minimum time, but it hasn't been long enough." It's just all a big game and it's irritating.
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  12

  Were you ever jealous of ones that left????

  by mama1119 in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i always wondered how they had the balls to do it.

  and especially if they seemed happy with no remorse, and were able to celebrate holidays and live "normal" lives.

  i remember wishing, in my early twenties, that i had the strength to do that.

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  jwcol

  Some married guy in his early 20s last year gave an experience at the DC about his porn problem. He went into great detail about how he was addicted and he could never go near a computer and would never own a computer again because he was sooooo addicted to porn. Everyone was like "what a complete idiot..."

  But as far as how I felt when others left, it always bothered me that people had the attitude that it could never happen to them. They always used the opportunity to put the person down and make themselves feel like they were better than that.