A Close-to-complete Ideology and Religion Shit List (always open to new suggestions!) Taoism: Shit happens. Confucianism: Confucius say, "Shit happens." Buddhism: If shit happens, it isn't really shit. Zen Buddhism: Shit is, and is not. Zen Buddhism #2: What is the sound of shit happening? Hinduism: This shit has happened before. Islam: If shit happens, it is the will of Allah. Islam #2: If shit happens, kill the person responsible. Islam #3: If shit happens, blame Israel. Catholicism: If shit happens, you deserve it. Protestantism: Let shit happen to someone else. Presbyterian: This shit was bound to happen. Episcopalian: It's not so bad if shit happens, as long as you serve the right wine with it. Methodist: It's not so bad if shit happens, as long as you serve grape juice with it. Congregationalist: Shit that happens to one person is just as good as shit that happens to another. Unitarian: Shit that happens to one person is just as bad as shit that happens to another. Lutheran: If shit happens, don't talk about it. Fundamentalism: If shit happens, you will go to hell, unless you are born again. (Amen!) Fundamentalism #2: If shit happens to a televangelist, it's okay. Fundamentalism #3: Shit must be born again. Judaism: Why does this shit always happen to us? Calvinism: Shit happens because you don't work. Seventh Day Adventism: No shit shall happen on Saturday. Creationism: God made all shit. Secular Humanism: Shit evolves. Christian Science: When shit happens, don't call a doctor -pray. Christian Science #2: Shit happening is all in your mind. Unitarianism: Come let us reason together about this shit. Quakers: Let us not fight over this shit. Utopianism: This shit does not stink. Darwinism: This shit was once food. Capitalism: That's MY shit. Communism: It's everybody's shit. Feminism: Men are shit. Chauvanism: We may be shit, but you can't live without us... Commercialism: Let's package this shit. Impressionism: From a distance, shit looks like a garden. Idolism: Let's bronze this shit. Existentialism: Shit doesn't happen; shit IS. Existentialism #2: What is shit, anyway? Stoicism: This shit is good for me. Hedonism: There is nothing like a good shit happening! Mormonism: God sent us this shit. Mormonism #2: This shit is going to happen again. Wiccan: An it harm none, let shit happen. Scientology: If shit happens, see "Dianetics", p.157. Jehovah's Witnesses: >Knock >Knock Shit happens. Jehovah's Witnesses #2: May we have a moment of your time to show you some of our shit? Jehovah's Witnesses #3: Shit has been prophesied and is imminent; only the righteous shall survive its happening. Moonies: Only really happy shit happens. Hare Krishna: Shit happens, rama rama. Rastafarianism: Let's smoke this shit! Zoroastrianism: Shit happens half on the time. Church of SubGenius: BoB shits. Practical: Deal with shit one day at a time. Agnostic: Shit might have happened; then again, maybe not. Agnostic #2: Did someone shit? Agnostic #3: What is this shit? Satanism: SNEPPAH TIHS. Atheism: What shit? Atheism #2: I can't believe this shit! Nihilism: No shit.
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Does S*** Really Happen? - my apologies for s***ty formatting
by Deleted ina close-to-complete ideology and religion shit list (always open to new suggestions!
taoism: shit happens.
confucianism: confucius say, "shit happens.
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Deleted's Top Five Poll #1 - What would you get disfellowshipped for today?
by Deleted ini've been reading this site for years and i need more posts (is this a left over dub-thang like counting time?).
so taking a page from ozzie's poll, here's my top five.
1. i got myself doctorates in divinity & metaphysics from the ulc (ulc.org, about $140 - i went for the works) so i could register with the county as a minister to officiate weddings, done 4 so far - i don't charge if you're interested.
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I've been reading this site for years and I need more posts (is this a left over dub-thang like counting time?). So taking a page from Ozzie's poll, here's my Top Five. 1. I got myself doctorates in divinity & metaphysics from the ULC (ulc.org, about $140 - I went for the works) so I could register with the county as a minister to officiate weddings, done 4 so far - I don't charge if you're interested. 2. I enjoy tobacco products on occasions - particularly a good cigar, when sipping a good scotch 3. I enjoy MJ on more occasions, and I do inhale 4. Since 1914 is at best a hoax then I must be an apostate (surprise, surprise) 5. We celebrate all holidays, including Kwanzaa - for our daughter's 16th birthday we got her 16 presents to make up for the 15 she missed. I drink way less than when I was Borg, so I can't count that. How about y'all?
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bank/credit-card accespoint in JW-convensionhall
by Ozner inthe 2 jw convension-halls in the netherlands have now a bank/credit-card accespoint to give contribution to the wts with your bank or creditcards.
do you know this happens in other country's?
it is really strange to see that brs&srs are giving donations with their visa & mastercards.
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Hey, what does it matter? Armageddon is coming in 1975 so we won't have to make payments on our credit card debts for long. D'oh.
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Finish this sentence "The longer I'm away from JW's......"
by doodle-v in.
here's mine: .
the wackier they seem to me!!!
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Oh, and the longer I am away from Dubdom the better I like worldly people, even Christians! I'll probably go to hell for that, oh, there isn't one, never mind.
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1. Move to Oregon 2. Get a growers license for medical marijuana 3. sell me some on the side. 4. Enjoy!
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Portland Oregon XJW meetup of June 5th
by Deleted inhello again to stacy, john, danny, betty, bethany and matthew, especially stacy who we knew when she was borg - and i still can't believe you're out, congratulations!
i never did know who was who from a posting-handle standpoint.
so fess up, who's who?
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Carmel, I get an email from the Meet-up people to vote on where to have it, I assume you get on the mailing list when you register at http://exjw.meetup.com/. It's been at McMennamins on NW 23rd for a while. Regards, Glen who once was Deleted.
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Portland Oregon XJW meetup of June 5th
by Deleted inhello again to stacy, john, danny, betty, bethany and matthew, especially stacy who we knew when she was borg - and i still can't believe you're out, congratulations!
i never did know who was who from a posting-handle standpoint.
so fess up, who's who?
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Hello again to Stacy, John, Danny, Betty, Bethany and Matthew, especially Stacy who we knew when she was Borg - and I still can't believe you're out, congratulations! I never did know who was who from a posting-handle standpoint. So fess up, who's who? Also, where did Kate (biker chic) and Craig (onacruse) go, especially after asking if Jill and I were going and what happened to Keith (newboy), again. Anyway, it was sure good to meet you and we hope all is well for the 50-odd Portlanders registered for the meet-ups. All the very best, Glen and Jill James 503-382-4151
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How do you interact with your worldly relatives?
by pratt1 in.
now that i am no longer a jw, i can associate, and celebrate holidays and other family traditions with my non-jw relatives.
however i am sometimes bitter because i missed so many experiences as a child with my relatives that they seem almost like strangers rather than relatives.. does anyone else feel this way, and how have you bridged the gap?
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We were lucky (can I say lucky, or is that a bad word?) All our relatives are non-dubs so, like we were in a time warp, we just went back to the old ways, nothing said, just 18 years later. We were always fairly liberal so the kids adapted quickly and we are happy happy happy.
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Finish this sentence "The longer I'm away from JW's......"
by doodle-v in.
here's mine: .
the wackier they seem to me!!!
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Aside from all of the above, especially Mulan's point on how the hell did I believe that: The longer I'm away from JW's the more I like the real world.
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Did you ever get a W (Work needed) on a talk?
by desib77 insomeone mentioned this in one of their posts and i had a flashback.
i remember getting a w on one of my theocratic school talks when i was working on gesturing.
the funny thing about it is that it was given to me by my dad!
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I got a couple of WIGs for gestures. Wot? Me? Gestures? As I flap my arms.